By Nat Whilk-Clerk.
1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game?
- Willie Nelson
- Nelson Mandela
- Lord Nelson
- Sammy Nelson
- Darth Nelson.
- Ron Jerem
2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for?
- a pile of bricks
- a pile of Brickfields Gunner
- a pile of sh*t
- piles
- none of the above he doesnt even know Arsenal FC.
3: What is Arsène Wengers favourite food?
- St.Totteringham style Chicken and Spuds
- Beef and onion crispy pancake
- Chicken in a basket and chips .
- Farmer Barleymows chicken flea surprise
- None of the above as Wenger is a man of class.
4: What is Dial Square Dave’s favourite pastime apart from watching Arsenal is?
- Fishing
- Dogging
- Catting
- Watching TV programs about weird weapons and torture
- Going to see performance art at the Tate Modern
- Hanging around with the banjo player from the film “Deliverance”
5: Which of these people play for Arsenal FC?
- Jack the Ripper
- Jack and Danny
- Jack Wilshire
- Wilshire boulevard Hotel XI
- Jack up the car a bit higher you idiot
- Tom Bombadil
6: What was David O’Learys nickname?
- Lux Interior
- Spider
- Tortoise
- Enfant terrible
- Jambug
- He didnt have one
7: Which reporter regularly dismisses Arsenal?
- Lou Costello
- Louis Louis
- Loopy Lou
- Johnathan Liew
- Lou Dweeb the silent mute at Kalamazoo gas station
- Louis IV’scousin, Alfred Snooknaffer.
8: Which of these players had a spell at Arsenal?
- Ronald MacDonald
- Old MacDonald e-i e-i-e-i-o
- Malcolm MacDonald
- Donald Rumsfeld
- Donald Giblet-Monger the toast of old London Town
9: How to pundits from Liverpool pronounce the name Özil?
- Ozzle
- Urzel
- O’zeel
- Ozeal
- Calm down calm down–how should I know mate,I just follow Michael Owen and Jamie Carragher.
10: “It’s up for grabs now” is referring to what?
- Oligarchs
- Michael Thomas scoring v Liverpool
- Grabs, as strange kind of insect that lives on Spurs fans
- The sacred mantra of Sepp Blatter and friends
- Its a line from the film “revenge of the nerds”
- Erm, cant say as it might not be politically correct,but something to do with Matron.
11: Where is Dennis Bergkamps allotment?
- Near the Arndale centre
- Endfield
- First left straight on over the roundabout at the junction of the North Circular Road and the Great Cambridge Road, then second right
- Next door to O`Zeels in Tipperary
- What’s an allotment?
- Dunno, what times Grange Hill on?
- Whats for tea Mum,crispy pancakes?
The prizes
First prize for the winner: a night out with Billy “the Dog” McGraw
Second prize: not having to go for a night out with Billy “the Dog” McGraw
As I am the winner of the first Arsenal Belgium quiz at the annual meeting we had just the other day I feel obliged to my standards to give the answers in order to win the night out wit Billy the Dog
1. •Sammy Nelson
2. •a pile of bricks
3. •None of the above as Wenger is a man of class
4. •Watching TV programs about weird weapons and torture
5. •Jack and Danny
6. •He didnt have one
7. •Johnathan Liew
8. •Malcolm MacDonald
9. •Calm down calm down–how should I know mate,I just follow Michael Owen and Jamie Carragher.
10. •Michael Thomas scoring v Liverpool
11. •Endfield
Nah eat your heart out …S… fined by the FA…
I assume Walter got everything right, I’m happy that the only answers I was sure of was No 5&7.
Nice way to learn about Sammy Nelson, my birthday mate. Different years of course!
Sammy Nelson was a very good left-back.
A quiz – me like them so much ! Even better as I’m in it too ! WOO HOO , HOO !
So here goes –
1. Sammy Nelson – ‘Mooning ‘ was all the rage back then in the seventies . Not to be mistaken though for ‘Moonies ‘ , who were also quite a rage then ! And shouldn’t the last one be Ron Jeremy ? His moons ( and all the other bits ) are all over the internet !
2. No idea who Carl Andre is , so I guess – piles . And shouldn’t there be a shitting bricks amongst the answers ? Well it would seem logical to me at least !
3. Since there is no mention of pizza , it would have to be ,” None of the above ” then.
4. Catting -I suppose that’s cockney slang for getting pussy whipped , innit ?
Was ratting even considered ?
5. Jack and Danny – This was too easy ,is there a catch somewhere ?
6. Spider – many a tangled fly was undone by his sticky web ! No sexual innuendo is intended .
7. Johnathan Liew – it rhymes with ‘thiew’ – the Chinese word for fuck ! Very apt methinks , him being a cunninglinguist and all
8. Malcolm MacDonald – Super Mac !- too bad it was all so brief and premature .
9. Calm down calm down–how should I know mate,I just follow Michael Owen and Jamie Carragher..
– the correct way to say it is Ooooozzzzyyyyy , I think. The ‘l’ is silent , the same as in Liverpool ( take your time on this !).
10. Michael Thomas scoring v Liverpool – Although the origins are Asian . The story goes that a native lost his/her sarong while climbing a tree and everyone ( including the monkey !) tried to grab the fruits of the loom . It is hilarious when narrated in the native tongue – a lot on animation and wincing is involved . I ‘ll put it up on Youtube someday.
11. Endfield – Is that spelling correct ? I know that God’s own acre is very next door to ole’ nicky’s lot which is now of course overgrown , as he recovers from some ‘cosmetic’ abdominal surgery . What we doctors would call changing an outie in to an innie ! Since he claims that it is an abdominal hernia , he’ll probably had it done free , and also claim disability pension as well !
http://www.beautyriot.com/makeup-beauty/7971-10-craziest-plastic-surgeries/8
And thank you , Nat Whilk-Clerk , you sound a lot like Kenneth , you know , Dial square Dave’s long lost brother !
So far it is between you and me Brickfields… who will get the much wanted (??????) prize? 😉 On second thought I still could win the second place trophy…. 🙂
@ Walter – you can have both ‘prizes’ ! I pass . Billy may be the only one crazier than me !
and the answers are:
1)Sammy Nelson
2)A pile of bricks
3)None of the above as Wenger is a man of class
4)watching TV programs about weird weapons and torture
5)Jack Wilshire
6)spider
7)Johnathan Liew
8)Malcom MacDonald
9)Calm down calm down…
10)Michael Thomas scoring v Liverpool
11)Enfield.
Apologies for the spelling errors, as Brickfields Gunner points out, it should have been Ron Jeremy(ex Crystal palace and porn star), and Enfield not Endfield.
In case of a tie, please answer the following question and send it to this address(see under the question) on an stamped addressed postcard, and the winner will be drawn out of a hat by Mr.Sepp Blatter at Monday evenings gala event:
what one plus one?
a)dunno
b)two
c)eleven
d)Some weird song by Serge Gainsbourg
e)The collective IQ of the Stoke City defence
José Mourinhio
Green Gables and Kittens Shed End
22 Muckspreader Road
Special Brew-on-Thames
Russia
HP22 NWC
Nat, do we have anyone in Arsenal named ‘Jack Wilshire’? I know of Jack Wilshere though.
Congratulations Walter ! It was close but am more than happy to get 2nd. Have a smashing time with Billy ! Is your medical insurance all paid up ?
I did go out with one of his friends a few times and that was rather fun. But I think that was his decent friend. 🙂 Now if only I can get the approval of my wife to go out with someone who is called “The Dog”…. 😉
But hey, I won a second quiz in less than a week! And all Arsenal quizzes 😉 This was more close than the other quiz. That was a real difficult one. 🙂
Sorry about the mistakes, kind of messed up the quiz.Which Ive just heard has been awarded the least commented article on Untold ever!
So, what about:
What colour hair has Ritchie Powling?
a)Blue
b)black
c)blonde
d)he wore a red wig
f)none, he wore a yellow ribbon
e)brown
What position did Jimmy Logie play?
a)backward
b)forward
c)in me ladies chamber
d)goalkeeper
f)none, he didnt play for Arsenal
How much is that doggie in the window?
a)two pahnd fifty
b)free, its got rabies
c)100 quid to you mate
d)not for sale to the like of you!
What number did George Armstrong play?
a)11
b)3
c)7
d)123
e)Did he land on the moon?
When did Arsenal first win the FAC?
a) last year
b) 1971
c) 1200 bc
d) dont be daft Wenger aint won nothing
e)1930
To whom did Arsenal lose in the FAC final in 1927?
a) Swansea
b) Wrexham
c) Cardiff
d) Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
How far is it to the moon?
a) not far
b) long way I reckon
c) 1345,000 KM
d) 384,400 km
f) 222,000 km
With which foot did Liam Brady score his amazing goal against Spurs in 1978?
a) right
b) left
c) both
d) whose Brady?
e) I thought he was locked up that Ian Brady.
f) none he headed it in
What does Jack and Danny mean in cockney rhyming slang?
a) Ron Jeremy
b) How should I know I come from Oldham
c) I suppose its some impolite term for female genitalia?
d) It doesnt mean anything, you are making this up,I know because me Mum supports West Ham.
e) All I know is they were a synthesizer duo in the 80s
Oh, another one ! Ok ,so you got me hooked at ” Sorry….. !’
1.What colour hair has Ritchie Powling?
a)Blue
( He is a rocker ,isn’t he ?)
2. What position did Jimmy Logie play?
b)forward
( Am hoping I’m not losing my head by mistaking him for Gus )
3. How much is that doggie in the window?
e)….?
( That stuffed ‘ Patches ‘ is a national treasure and should not be for sale !)
4.What number did George Armstrong play?
a)11
( But then he was all over the place, and everyone was over the moon when he was on song too!)
5.When did Arsenal first win the FAC?
e)1930
6.To whom did Arsenal lose in the FAC final in 1927?
c) Cardiff
( Is it true that those Welsh hordes were stopped from taking it over the border ?)
7.How far is it to the moon?
b) long way I reckon
8. With which foot did Liam Brady score his amazing goal against Spurs in 1978?
a) right
9.What does Jack and Danny mean in cockney rhyming slang?
a) Ron Jeremy
Was thinking of doing a quiz for and about Moanin’inho , but then all his answers would have been , ” Me !” , ” Me !” , “Me!” . No fun in that – just like the man himself !
Not everyone is a Louis Armstrong .
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.
One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, “So how is your strange business going?”
“What do you mean strange?”
“Because you sell only trumpets and guns!”
“So?”
“Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?”
“It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun.”