Arsenal welcome Newcastle at the start of the Year of the Dangerous Nutters

Posted on by Tony Attwood

By Bulldog Drummond

May I begin by saying how much I like our “Insult of the Day” today.  In case you missed it, we’re delivering a series of insults back to the aaa, after having to take all their rambling nonsense for seven years.  But being Untold we do it with class, so every insult comes from long-term Gooner, W. Shakespeare.   Today’s is directed personally at one particular member of the journalistic class of the aaa (you can guess who).  He is

A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave.  

Well said Bill!  (That quote comes from Taming of the Shrew, but you knew that).

Anyway, to the game.  With Steve McClaren warning Arsenal that the players should expect ‘aggression’ and Jamie Carragher delivering what Sky hysterically described as a “stern warning” that Arsenal must win the league this season or else go another 10 years without winning it, I think we can see 2016 shaping up to be…

The Year of the Dangerous Nutters

Carragher – the player who in a moment of utter insanity threw a coin at the crowd at Highbury and got away with a three match ban, rather than a ban for life, as the fan who threw the coin onto the pitch got – has “warned” that “another failure to win a first title since 2004 could see the club’s agonising wait stretch another decade.”

And how can a prognostication like this, which is after all worthy of Nostradamus, be made?  Oh, it is because Man City, Chelsea and Man U won’t be this bad again.  In other words Arsenal can only win the title if other clubs allow them to by having an off year.

And this from a man whose criminal act was captured on TV!

Mr Wenger has been rather more fun, inventing another wonderful phrase: “clichéd thinking.”  He said, “I heard last night, you have clichéd thinking that ‘nobody wants to win the league’.  I can say as well that everybody wants to win it. And if you were in the game you would think that is not the case – everybody wants to win it, but it’s difficult.

“In Greece, Olympiakos are 14 points ahead, with 14 wins from 14 games. In France, Paris Saint-Germain are 19 points ahead. If you have that, everybody will say it’s boring. It is better you have the situation we have today, where seven or eight teams can win it…

“Public opinion is not always stable, it changes a lot.  It is always linked with the last result. We have to rise above that.”

Actually I thought he was being kind.  He could have said, “Journalists are not always stable.”  Or “Jamie Carragher is always far from stable.”  But no, he was mature as always.  [Are you suggesting some of the staff on Untold are immature??? – Tony]

On the injury front we’re equal with Everton and Sunderland, and behind Newcastle and Liverpool.  Even Chelsea, who until a little while back had nil or one injury each week, now have four.  They must be trying a bit harder.

Team Injuries
1 Newcastle United 11
2 Liverpool 10
3 Arsenal 7
4 Everton 7
5 Sunderland 7
6 Crystal Palace 6
7 West Ham United 6
8 Aston Villa 5
9 Bournemouth 5
10 Manchester City 5
11 Southampton 5
12 Chelsea 4
13 Manchester United 4
14 Stoke City 4
15 Swansea City 4
16 Tottenham Hotspur 3
17 West Bromwich Albion 3
18 Leicester City 2
19 Norwich City 2
20 Watford 1

Meanwhile this has been a holiday in which I have spent much of my time trying to find the jury that David Moyes spoke of in relation to Özil, and get them to come back in.  But since I couldn’t find them, my quest failed, and I can only imagine Moyes has them all grazing on a Cumbrian hillside somewhere.

Speaking for mainstream humanity however Mr Wenger said of Mesut, “He is only going to get better and better. You don’t have many left-footers and they make that movement from out to in, they make the bend of the ball. You just have to make eye contact with Mesut and, once you get that, he knows where you’re going to go.”

“Mesut has told me to keep making runs,” Theo said,  “He just spots it. I need to help him out by putting the ball in the net. Mesut is just a special player and he is in the form of his life. Some of the things you see on the pitch … his goal against Bournemouth alone. He didn’t break stride, it was like he was jogging. He just slows things down when he is playing.”

Mr Wenger gave an interesting insight this week too, saying, Özil “doesn’t practise a lot, we rest him a lot between games….”

So there is no change on our injury status, but it is hoped that Alexis might be back for the FA Cup match with Sunderland on January 9, and Mr Wenger said that Jack could be back for February or even earlier – contrary to what the papers have said.

Newcastle played Aston Villa, Everton and West Brom over the Christmas period and got a point from that run of games.  So their plan is to kick Özilto bits.  With the ref we have, their team will be able to do that with impunity.

McClaren said: “It is about collective organisation and discipline – and a certain amount of aggression will be required.”  I find that a bit worrying – “collective organisation and discipline” and “a certain amount of aggression” sounds more like the formula of extreme right parties in England since Oswald Mosely’s Black Shirts took to the streets in the 1930s.   Let’s hope Mr Mc didn’t mean it in that way.

However with 36 yellow cards and 3 reds already this season Newcastle clearly are taking messaging borrowed from right wing fanatics a little too literally for my taste.  Those card numbers are virtually double Arsenal’s.

And do you know, I can’t find a single newspaper commenting on that fact!  Odd isn’t it.

Anyway, we can look back to December 29, 2012 when Arsenal beat them 7-3.  Theo got a hattrick.  If we can play like that we should be ok.

Mathieu Flamini is fit again, and so should play beside Ramsey in deeper midfield.

So the team will be

Cech

Bellerin Mert Kos Monreal

Flamini Ramsey

Walcott Özil Oxlade-Chamberlain

Giroud

The only possible change is Campbell for the Ox.

Lurking on the beach in the rain and wind we might have Ospina, Gibbs, Gabriel, Chambers, Iwobi, Reine-Adelaide, Campbell.

According to the Independent’s “All you need to know” piece on the match, “It’s a big game for… Newcastle’s players.”  I’m glad we got that one out the way.

But they did come up with a good statistic that I didn’t know…

171: Newcastle might sit nine points off the bottom in the Premier League table, but they are currently dead last in the League in number of shots, with 171 attempts on goal all season.

The last three games between the two ended…

  • Newcastle 0 Arsenal 1 (Coloccini (og)), Premier League, August 2015
  • Newcastle 1 (Sissoko) Arsenal 2 (Giroud 2), Premier League, March 2015
  • Arsenal 4 (Giroud 2, Cazorla 2(pen 1)) Newcastle 1 (Perez), Premier League, December 2014

On to the toe-to-toe as it is known in Australia, or Head-to-head as we call it, as we stand the other way up…

  • Arsenal have won the last eight games against Newcastle and in fact Newcastle has won just three of the last 29 against Arsenal.
  • Newcastle had zero (that is nil, none, nothing, not a sausage, 0, lower than 1) shots on target in the reverse match earlier in the season.
  • The last three games at the Ems between the two have given us 18 goals.
  • Arsenal have scored at least 3 goals in their last 3 home matches against Newcastle in all competitions.

Arsenal meanwhile have

  • Won four of their last five Premier League games and six of the last seven home league matches.
  • Mesut Ozil’s 16 assists is ahead of Henry on a game by game basis for the PL record, and in fact only four away from equalling the record of 20.
  • Olivier Giroud has scored eight goals in seven Premier League games against the Zebras.

Newcastle however have

  • Scored five away goals this season and failed to score in 10 of their last 15 away league games.
  • The fewest shots in the Premier League this season (171).
  • Let in 69 Premier League goals in 2015 – the worst, equalled only by Aston Villa.
  • Beaten the Tiny Totts and White Hart Lane.

And Steve McClaren has lost 10 of his 11 Premier League meetings against Arsene Wenger.

And, and, and… over half the people voting on Who Scored have made Mesut Özil man of the match.  The most popular score is jointly 3-0 and 2-0.

More anniversaries

2 January 1965: John Radford became Arsenal’s youngest ever scorer of a hat-trick against Wolverhampton W aged 17 years and 315 days as Arsenal beat Wolverhampton 4-1.  In all he played 13 games this season and scored seven.

2 January 1970: Arsenal paid £100k for the first time for a player – Peter Marinello. (The transfer date also quoted as Jan 6).  Despite his awesome talent he only played 38 league games for Arsenal, partly due to his wayward lifestyle and party the intransigence of manager Bertie Mee.

And to keep you occupied while waiting for kick off

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42 Replies to “Arsenal welcome Newcastle at the start of the Year of the Dangerous Nutters”

  1. Great post Bulldog…

    The Arsenal we know is a team that will disappoint when least expected…when every ‘pundit’ has given them victory before kick off.

    Today, like in the Southampton game, even Michael Owen has predicted a comfortable win for us. Now, that’s when I worry!

    Nevertheless, I’m all prayers…you had right – PRAYERS – that’s what helps whenever every bet is for Arsenal victory.

    And I’d want Gabriel to play in place of Per.

  2. Will Anthony Taylor be on guard for any “aggressive” behaviour from MacLaren’s team against Mesut Ozil and the rest of the boys in red?
    Unlikely!!
    The antidote would be an early couple of goals for the Gunners
    COYG

  4. Looserpool must win the league this year because if they don’t they wont win it for another 25 years!! 🙂

    My guess is that the above is what Carragher thinks of his beloved Liverpool but dare not say.

  5. The difference between the Southampton game and this one are two-fold. Firstly Southampton are a far better side than Newcastle. Secondly we had just come away from beating city 2-0 when facing Southampton and I believe the players were unprofessional in their attitude believing they only had to turn up to win something they hopefully have learnt by being punished 4-0. The concern is that Taylor will take until 85 min to punish any foul on an Arsenal player and we will have succumb to injuries before then. However, if he takes the glasses off he may punish Newcastle early on and change the game for them.

  6. My only concern for this match is Taylor he has a penchant for game changing decisions and normally against us. He usually allows our opponents to be overly aggressive with us and punishes our players quicker than an eyelid batting having said that I am going 2-0 home win

  8. The funny thing is the melt down of klopp, LVG and Moreentheho have a bit of the media against them for lest than one season! Wenger has been getting it for 20 years! I think that just shows how Arsene is such a manly mans man!!

  9. Football focus – BBC

    We are top of the League.

    We are the best team in 2015.

    We have the best defence in 2015.

    All that, yet all we get is 5 minutes.

    All they mentioned was Cechs clean sheets. Not only that but they even used that as a reason to bash Wenger for taking so long to buy a World Class keeper, despite Szez tying with Cech for clean sheets and half of 2015 having Ospina in goal.

    What a bunch of w*****s.

    Also because I thought this may be the most ridiculous statement I have ever seen in my life:

    Robbie Savage’s vote for best referee of the year: Martin Atkinson.

    As I said the other day, as much as I love, and agree with 90% of the referee reviews they do not have an iota of impact on our mainstream media, or indeed Joe public. Sorry but that’s how it is.

  10. Colorio

    Sorry didn’t see your post/link before I posted above, but as you will of seen I did watch it.

    It was a joke. Basically they only did it to use it as a stick to bash Wenger. According to Lawrenson if we win the league it will be down to him.

    How many players can you have in a one man team?

    I thought it was all down to Alexis?

    Oh no, now it’s ozil?

    Apparently not, now it’s all down to Cech, who is apparently worth 12 points a season.

    Well that’s apart from the 3 he lost us against West Ham I guess? (Not being critical, it happens, just needs to be said to put idiotic statements like that into perspective)

  11. looks like media fav liverpool are looking at another defeat!!…

    Wonder how??, with a man in charge who is obviously miles ahead of Mr Wenger…

  12. And the line up is:

    —– Cech

    Cech Cech Cech Cech

    — Ozil — Ozil

    —- Ozil

    — 0zil — Ozil

    —- Ozil

    Actually, the lineups are out everywhere, and we have (from the bumbling BBC):

    Cech
    Bellerín Mertesacker Koscielny Monreal
    Ramsey Flamini
    Oxlade-Chamberlain Özil Walcott
    Giroud

    Substitutes: Gibbs, Gabriel, Ospina, Chambers, Campbell, Iwobi, Reine Adelaide

    And unfortunately Anthony Taylor is still the referee.

    COYG!

  13. And for Gunners not playing at the Emirates today, we have:

    Toral is starting for Birmingham. I don’t know if Wellington is available for Bolton yet. Maitland-Niles is on the bench for Ipswich. It seems gamesheets for Scotland are not available at the moment, and I believe Roma and Ajax are still on holiday break.

    COYG!

  14. Hey Bulldog! (apologies to Lennon & McCartney)

    Brilliant piece! The Nutters will always be here but I hope the play of Arsenal will minimize their influence on the unthinking. I doubt it, though. Even the best drover takes a bit of time to move the herd. And yes I am making an analogy to sheep. Whatever trophy Arsenal win will somehow be denigrated. How the f**k can anyone denigrate winning the FA Cup back to back? While I’ve lost any respect for the FA itself, the competition is still one of the best in Football. And like a lot of Untolders I’m concerned about Taylor. Maybe Arsenal will borrow kit from an American Football side. They’ll need the protection.

  15. Oh, forgot one. Jenkinson was on the bench for West Ham (beating Liverpool at the moment), but came on in the 86th minute.

    COYG!

  16. Big thing to look out for today from Taylor is what he does first time one of their lot kicks through the back of one of ours to get the ball.

    Think that happened a hell of a lot against Southampton, but hard to confirm as they never once showed a replay of any of the suspiciously high number of occasions they won the ball from behind, leaving our players, especially Ozil, very frustrated.

    In contrast, saw highlights of Olympiakos earlier today: they did it twice blatantly, got pinged both times, Ozil was satisfied with that (the frustration comes not from being fouled but from refs not doing their job); then Olympiakos stopped because those tactics only work if a ref lets you get away with them.

    No point hoping for the same from Taylor, so instead you just hope he isn’t too bad and, more importantly, we get an early goal. It’s when the right result is in sight that these guys are at their worst.

  18. From the Guardian:

    > …. Another foul by Tioté on Oxlade-Chamberlain, but referee Anthony Taylor plays advantage.

    We are 5 minutes into the game, and we read a comment like “another foul by …”, and no yellow card for persistent infringement is out?

    Taylor, you are an ass!

    COYG!

  20. Commentator: Newcastle asking questions there… What!!!!!!!!!…

    How is sterile possession asking questions!!!!

  23. According to a couple of commentaries, the only team committing fouls is Arsenal. In particular, calls for the Ox to get a yellow for persistent infringement.

    —

    BBC (Alan Shearer, Former England striker):

    > ‘Arsenal need three signings’

    Alan Shearer needs 3 brain cells.

    —

    Up in sheepland, Zelalem is on the bench for Rangers.

    COYG!

  24. Gord

    It’s true that Ox should have been booked by now ( and he’s been turned over twice ), but the first card against Colback

  26. All of the Ox fouls were literally retaliation …. And hez lucky to get away with it considering the fact that ref is Taylor.

  29. The American feed of this match is unwatchable. The commentators are so anti-Arsenal they might be in the employ of Newcastle (or the PGMO). Ridiculous.

  30. Yyyeeeeaaahhhhh…… Dig in gunners…

    How many important goals has he scored…. Bosscielny

  31. Now they’re slating AW. Weak. WAIT! Koooooooooooooooscielny. But the commentators ay they don;t deserve it. Joke

  34. Well, nearly all the commentators have made their choice of the team they want to win clear, Newcastle.

    Come on Ramsey, get on the score sheet again!

    COYG!

  37. How to go Gunners! It seems that Ramsey finished the game well, carved some good opening for himself, unlucky to not score.

  39. Loanees:

    Toral played 83 for Birmingham. Birmingham winning.

    Wellington came on at 67 minutes, in their 2-0 loss today.

    Maitland-Niles was an unused substitute today.

    And up in sheeps country, Zelalem came on at 72 minutes in their (Rangers) 6-0 win. Zelalem assisted on the last goal.

  42. They last time Liverpool won the first division when many Untolders were not even born , and I was a carefree but broke bachelor , working hard in earning pittance from the government , drinking beer and listening to the BBC Worldwide Service’ commentary on Saturdays .
    And Arsenal were just about to go on and win the league again , losing only one game and despite being docked 3 points for that fracas against Man Utd .Anders Limpar – you will forever be remembered fondly for turning Alex Ferguson ‘s face beet-red and making them look like real pansies !
    And for information the younglings , Arsenal lost only 3 times that season .

    The last time Spurs won the league , JFK was still alive and Norma Jean was helping him with his trick back !

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