State Aid Utd v Arsenal. Lots of stuff that might happen and some that won’t.

By Bulldog Drummond

And thus and so, verily, it comes to pass forsooth  The last ever venture to the Boleyn Ground invariably wrongly known as Upton Park by those silly people in the media.  Next time around we shall play at the Tax Payers Stadium, funded by those of us who live in the UK, and now I find we have to add, pay taxes in the UK.  Unlike those with companies in Panama.

Actually the more the revelations come out the more I realise that State Aid’s new ground was paid for by me and a handful of other guys – maybe six or seven.  Everyone else has offshore accounts.

I am going to guess that Alex Iwobi will play and will try to make it three goals in three games, but won’t, for I fear that all this chatter about playing for Nigeria in the Olympics suggests he is getting a little carried away.  Never forget Alex who pays your wages.

But I also suspect that today Danny Welbeck will come riding to the rescue.  Theo could get a goal in the last couple of minutes as well.  And let us not forget that Alexis has suddenly found out what it is all about again.  That makes it 0-4 to us and we haven’t even kicked off.

However we have to admit that for reasons that will not become clear at this moment, State Aid Utd have not lost in six but in doing that they have let in six in the last three.  Oh I love these silly statistics.

They even have Cheikhou Kouyate ready to play after getting a red card against Crystal Palace last week and then losing it again.  I call that careless.

For us, Ramsey and Flamini are said to be fit, but I suspect Ramsey will be sitting in the State Aid Beach while Flamini won’t.   Petr Cech however should be back in goal – although Oooooooooospina has done no wrong in the interim.  A very reassuring state of play for us to have two keepers in such form – and let us not forget, a very fine Argentinian third option on loan.

Of course it has become a tradition that we should beat the State Aid club (previously known as WHU (pronounced Whoooo?) and indeed its so long since they beat us at the Boleyn Castle famed for its association with the head chopping activities of the British monarchy.

Of course in such London derby’s it is important to turn to what the managers say.  Slaven Bilic was in expansive form (at least according to the BBC) saying “It’s a big game, a London derby first of all. The season is approaching an end,” and I think we should reflect upon those words most thoroughly and consider them in due context.

Mr Wenger was having a little more fun, saying, “We know we need nearly the perfect run – I could have cut the ‘nearly’ out.”

Anyway, putting all this together what we get is


Iwobi Ozil Alexis

Elneny Coquelin

Monreal Koscielny Gabriel Bellerin


or the other way up if playing in the opposite direction (I would not want you to think I am suggesting we have Welbeck in goal and Cech as centre forward.  That would be silly.)

There is not much of a beach in the East End of London and if you go further East to Southend all you get is mud, but making do as best they might we will have Ospina, Chambers, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Ramsey, Campbell, Walcott, and Giroud.

As always at this time of year the first game of the season (a horrible match at the Ems if you recall, against State Aid) seems centuries ago.  We’ve had another year of endless battering by the media and their buddies bulldozing in the baby bloggettas (“bulldozing” isn’t right there but I wanted to keep up the alliteration but couldn’t find the right word – this writing lark is harder than it looks you know).

But what we have to remember is the way we swatted away Everton and Watford – that’s the way to do it! [Please do remember the ! is only used for Liverpool! in this blog – Tony]

On the injury front we have slipped below West Ham with the Ox and Cazorla counted as injured.  Rosicky and Wilshere are counted as not injured by getting fit.  The Ox Rosicky and Jack should be ready on 23 April and Santi Caz the following week.   State Aid Utd have Byram, Collins and our own Jenkinson all out, but curiously a lot of the press say they have no injuries.  How do they make that out?

And thus it is that once more we come to the silly numbers.

We’ve scored at least two in the last seven games at Anne’s Castle, (“Scoff on, vile fiend and shameless courtesan“) and won the last five.  But State Aid Utd are now undefeated in their last 13 at home.

The nastiness chart from the FA (which takes into account cup as well as league games) with the dirtiest bunch of scallywags at the top and the angels at the bottom shows….

1 WBA 38 72 3 322
2 Aston Villa 38 73 2 314
3 Watford 36 65 3 296
4 Liverpool! 40 66 2 284
5 Norwich City 36 62 3 280
6 Newcastle United 34 55 4 262
7 Crystal Palace 38 60 2 262
8 Southampton 36 52 6 260
9 State Aid Utd 37 56 6 258
10 Stoke City 40 52 5 252
11 Chelsea 37 53 4 252
12 Oil and China 40 63 0 252
13 Tiny Totts 37 62 0 248
14 Sunderland AFC 34 54 2 236
15 Manchester Untidy 37 56 1 234
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 55 1 230
17 Leicester City 37 54 1 226
18 Everton 40 45 4 222
19 Swansea City 35 54 1 216
20 Arsenal 38 45 4 210

It is all worked out like this…

  • Caution 4 pints [I think that should be points]
  • Denial of a goal scoring opportunity or dismissal for 2 cautions 10 pts
  • Violent conduct, serious foul play, spitting or offensive and abusive language 12 pts

So there we are.  Arsenal to win 0-6.  Or maybe not.  Have a good lunch.


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98 Replies to “State Aid Utd v Arsenal. Lots of stuff that might happen and some that won’t.”

  1. good read.. unlike watford i think west ham will turn up. lets see what happens

  2. Mr Drummond, the Boss knows his players in & out, I only know about their playing forms by watching them on the TV and reading comments about them in the media.

    Mr Drummond, your starts are great, but if I take into account of the Boss’ comment on rotation in his last press conference, he won’t unecessarily make changes to his starts that are winning. Therefore, I like to believe the Boss will only make 1 starting change to his Gunners who started the Watford match at the Ems last Saturday.

    I have a preference striker who I want the Boss to start to lead the line against the West Hammers today. I’ve watched Walcott on TV playing as a sub for England against Holland an against Watford. And I am convinced Walcott is ready to play for Arsenal now that it’s spring time in the UK than he was during the harsh weather of winter. I think Walcott can’t play very well in the winter.

    I am not convinced with what Welbeck played for Arsenal in the Watford match as he looked out of touch generally. And Giroud hasn’t look ready to start for Arsenal either. Therefore, I’ll prefer Walcott to start this West Ham match and Ospina should also start if the Boss will accept my proposals.

    My starts:
    My bench:

    I’ve dropped Welbeck entirely till next week match if he has fully recovered his striking form. The Boss will know this in the Gunners training sessions. And importantly, the Boss should retain Campbell in his match day squad for this match and possibly brings him on later in the game. Campbell has the quality to take on defenders and schemes and wriggles past them to size up the goalkeeper or cross the ball to his mates to score. These scheming and wriggling attributes are not commonly found in players as most players are direct players.

  3. Good one man. Couldn’t help the occasional chuckle. Yeah, I think WHU will turn up and get beat while they do. Our passing and overall shape is very important. The way we handle the chances to score, which will certainly come in their numbers, will determine proceedings. Early goals are going to help, but this will surely be a game of 90 minutes. It will not be over except we score 6 or 7 in the first half, which is not likely in my opinion. But, hey, impossible is nothing, right?

    Three points. Nothing else will do.

  4. “fear that all this chatter about playing for Nigeria in the Olympics suggests he is getting a little carried away. Never forget Alex who pays your wages.”

    Eh? He is entitled to play for his country like the other players?

    West Ham can be tricky, but i suspect Arsenal are done losing now, and will prevail. They better do!!! 🙂

  5. Para = regarding the entitlement of playing for one’s country, it has become seen as this, but just because that is how the FA/Fifa/Olympic alliance see it, it doesn’t mean it has to be that way.

    I write adverts for a living. Supposing my country (the UK) said that because they thought I was good at it, I was offered the honour of writing for my country. Oh and by the way, that would mean taking time off work, not being paid but expecting my employer to pay me, and the serious risk of injury.

    Of course injuries during the course of writing adverts are rare, even for an eccentric writer like me, but if we can imagine such a possibility, how would employers take it? They would want wholesale compensation I suspect.

    It is only because of a clever bit of PR that says playing for your country is an honour, have the clubs been suckered into it. And also remember when all this lark started there were only three international matches a year. England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland played eacho other once. That was it. An entire international season in three games.

  6. The US of A doesn’t have a USA baseball national team nor their version of football have a national team and I think the same applies for basket ball.

    The three biggest sports in the States and yet they seem to live happily with out a nation side.

    In view of the many, many problems we experience with a a semi national* football team, do we need a semi national football team?

    *Semi national – for the team to be national then it needs to be open to players from the other parts of the UK that consist of the United Kingdom, as happens with the Olympics

  7. Jenkinson is not classed injured by the press for West Ham because he returned to Arsenal when he was ruled out for the rest of the season! Surely you should know this?

  8. Arsenal: Ospina, Bellerin, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Elneny, Ozil, Iwobi, Alexis, Welbeck

    Subs: Cech, Mertesacker, Gibbs, Chambers, Ramsey, Giroud, Walcott

    If he’s not carrying an injury then I feel sorry for Campbell missing out on a spot on the beach… He doesn’t deserve that but I guess we’ve no MF players on the beach without AR.

  9. Hey Bulldog (just love saying it)
    Good stuff. I’m taking odds on the minute Payet gets his 1st free kick in a dangerous area. So far, the money’s on minute 17.

  10. Andy Mack, agree with you about Campbell, but Wenger does pick and choose his bench in the light of who we are playing and how he sees the match may develop.

    I don’t think he is ditching Campbell, and I’m sure he’ll be back.

  11. colario, I’m pretty certain the USA has a Basketball team at the Olympics although I’m not sure how it’s done, who’s in it etc.

    As for their other ‘sports’, they aren’t keen on any sport where their nation may get beaten by another nation, so they invent their own odd variations like calling ‘Rounders’ Baseball…

  12. Stevie p

    The notion that Untold writers, editors and indeed the publishers, are all knowing on football topics is one that is indeed put about, but I can assure you we are not, and do make mistakes.

    But with injuries, for consistency we take the list published each day by and I think we do say that this is our source most weeks. If you would care for a moment to take a look at their offering today, you will see that they classify Jenkinson as a WHU player and have him as injured on their list – that is to say he is one of the three. He may be getting treatment at Arsenal, which is logical since his injury will be with him beyond the end of the season, but I think that the PL classify him still as Arsenal – loaned to WHU.

    I’m not saying you should know this, but that’s how it goes.

  13. Tony, I’m sure you’re right. I think Campbell is a highly thought of squad member but I still feel sorry for him.

  14. Wonderful wonderful start by BT Sprout.

    “Its a wonderful start for West Ham” they announce on 1.5 minutes as WHU launch an attack.

    The problem was

    a) the player was offside
    b) the ball didn’t go in the net .

    Ah well

  15. Just switched on to see Kos on the floor. Replays showed a scissors kick by caroll, did he even get carded for that??

  16. I think with all due respect you need a pair of glasses, AL 🙂

    We will be lucky to finish this game without any injuries, the way west ham are taking our players out…

  17. The cheating Pawson PGMOs current puppet in this game. The bastard Webb saying that West Ham have been cheated yet again with the off side flag. Where is he when the Leicester players are playing netball?

  18. Ok, West ham player might have been on, if he was, but his teammate who also went for the ball too.

    Pawson is having a lot of difficulty too seeing anything that is obvious on the pitch. I can’t believe we have played 20 minutes only but the ref has made so many’mistakes’.

  19. We’ll need every goal Arsenal can muster with this ref. If anyone is left on the pitch

  20. Carrol with a push from the corner PGMO normal selective vision. Then another push by Tomkins seen & called. Bubbles all exploding for a handball but it wasn’t both hands so thats ok. 😉

  21. BT being themselves stateaid supporting commentary & evading any pro Arsenal replays.

  22. Oh dear anouther tikitaka brilliant move & Alexis places it in the net. 2 goals up in 35 minutes.

  23. 2 from Carrol because of poor defending but Pawson not seeing anything at the moment.

  24. What is it with us and reflections…so unlucky. But we can still win this, COYG!!!

  25. West ham aren’t parking the bus, but are being helped by an inept ref. Several of their players should have been on yellows now, and a possible red for Carroll. But what can we expect from a pgmob rep.

  26. Al
    I agree, that’s why I said before they scored, we’d need all the goals we can get.

  27. Simple tactic, cross the ball and the strongest player heads. We have to stop them from crossing the u need to be a rocket scientist to figure this out? Also no free kicks to be given on top of the box.

  28. Gabriel deflects that one in, again…

    Shouldn’t Carroll be carded for going to celebrate in the fans.

  29. There is nothing to do when West Ham can foul to glory. Nothing being give to Arsenal by PGMO again. We have to play careful football, tight marking & dont wait for the ref.

  30. How did Noble not get a yellow for kicking Iwobi, not once, but twice after the whistle!

  31. He should have been sent off for the challenge on Gabrieel.

    Ramsey for Coq an interesting swap

  32. So Noble managed (so far)
    – a very late challenge on Welbeck
    – to grab the ball with the hands while on the ground
    – to deliberately kick Iwobi twice after the whistle

    Guess what still no yellow…

  33. When someone says don’t make this or that of yourself they are NOT insulting you.

  34. Unable to watch today but it sounds quite a game. 5 live say that there have been some grey areas in the referees performance.

  35. Some sad idiot just clicking the dislike button. Stupid doesn’t even describe this moron.

  36. That has capped my faith in EPL football. The game is fucked by the cheating FA & their PGMO shitheads. The incompetence of these bastards is so obvious. Their cheating is blatant in the extreme. It may be what the money is being paid for but it isn’t the sport I grew up watching. Even Bobby Moore will be quakeing in his grave.

  37. The ref was horrendous as usual and Carroll should have been gone – straight red, studs up. Still, shambolic defending on corners. Carroll got his head on every ball. Very disappointing.

  38. I am all for flagging the dirty refs but I can’t believe that people are ready to blame this one on the ref. West Ham scored a perfectly good goal to go one up before our opener. Koscielny swept their player without a card.

    We were destroyed in the air by Carroll, they had more goal attempts and deserved all three points.

    I think we have seen two best teams in the league this season today but neither of them will reach the ultimate prize.

    A new central defender and a new striker are obviously required next summer.

  39. Menace was the referee to blame today by any chance.You are like a broken record and your inane ramblings are synonymous of this site.I suggest that you start watching the indian premier league if you think our league and everyone in it are corrupt.

  40. John

    I think your comments regarding Menace are inappropriate and completely unfit for any decent web-site. It’s one thing to disagree with him and completely another to mention his nationality, his place of living and now his country.

    Unless John stands for John Terry, that is.

  41. Josif
    I think menaces comments are inappropriate and completely unfit for decent websites.Why is it when i tell someone to watch the football where they live if they think our game is bent you all start with the racial rubbish.You think its ok to post remarks like this -” The game is fucked by the cheating FA & their PGMO shitheads. The incompetence of these bastards is so obvious”

  42. Yes John it is. Because that is in no way a racist remark.
    Why oh why is it that mostly the WOB make racist remarks?

  43. @John

    I am pretty much as distant to England as Menace is but you agreed to my comment about today’s game without questioning my distance to England.

    I’ve read number of WOB comments from Africa and Asia at various web-sites but I have never told them that they are wrong because of the place of their birth, living or nationality.

    That’s why I believe UA should restrict posting from your e-mail address at this site. Whether Tony will agree with meis another thing.

  44. Honestly can’t understand how some fans can blame this result on the ref.Westham scored a perfectly good goal that was disallowed, if that happened to us they will be a total meltdown by now.We have bottled it again after going two goals up,who is to blame for that?Thats where we should start instead of pointing fingers at the officials.Common guys we’ve seen this over and over again over the years,this is not new.Carol bullying our defenders is saddening.If you guys feel the refs have been the cause of we not winning the league over the last decade and Leicester about winning it,then that’s just sad.
    We’ve changed players over the last decade,yet same result.Why can’t we try something different?The painful truth is we will never win the league with Wenger as coach.As much as we love and respect him,that’s just the way things are.

  45. I’m not seeing how what John said is “racist”. The other poster said disparaging things about the league and it’s officials in England (doesn’t matter if one agrees or not)..and he retorted with the same about the IPL and it’s officials in India. There’s zero racism in either case or no difference between the two comments. He’s well within his rights to ask him to focus on or point out sport corruption in India (if he thinks there’s corruption there) Whether one agrees or disagrees with validity of either comment should have no relevance and certainly no bearing on accusing someone as racist.

    Seriously people throw around these very serious labels of racists far too easily.

  46. Ok, so I’d like to give my opinion on Menace. He didn’t actually say he was Indian, but that had lived in a few countries and currently lives in Goa. I personally detest his comments and he has on occasions said unpleasant things about other commenters parents including wishing my own father had been killed before I was born, which did infact happen as he was the victim of a hit and run while my mother was pregnant.
    Menace is a nasty piece of work who has no place here

  47. @Jojo

    Three references to India made by John (that ugly cesspit-thing, Goa and now IPL) to discredit Menace are enough to claim there is a pattern. When I read John’s comment, I see a guy who say to Menace: “If you don’t like our Ingerland, go home!”

    I don’t agree with Menace regarding this game and many times before. He probably doesn’t agree with my comment about our need for a top central defender and a striker. That doesn’t mean we can’t discuss as civilized people.

  48. @ Josif, I’m neither a regular reader or poster so fair enough. ..not familiar with their history with each other and caught the tail end of this particular conversation. The IPL comment taken in isolation is in my opinion not even remotely racist.

    I agree wholeheartedly with you about discussing and disagreeing civily – and while not a regular reader and even less regular poster, I’ve seen enough to have the opinion that menace is one of the most aggressive and and uncivil in disagreement posters here, and gets a pass largely because if the targets of his anger.

  49. JoJo
    The problem with John is you can no longer take the IPL reference in isolation as he has also made two other disparaging remarks about Menace regarding his place of residence before today. He also told another poster from Nigeria to go back to supporting football in Nigeria or something like that. I’m not saying John is racist, but you know the saying that goes ‘if it walks like a duck…’

  50. I will reply to josef and al .It is okay on this site to discredit and slate the english premier league and their referees calling them all the names they want.We so called have bent referees and a league that is as corrupt as fifa without any sherd of evidence ,something which this site so call prides itself on.I am english and proud to be english and sometimes take offence to posters who discredit the professionals who work and try to make our game better.Rather than trying to blame them for Arsenals failings they should look closer to home at the man who runs and manages our team!!

  51. Stephen you make the classic error of taking one incident in a game and generalising out of it. The entire history of science shows that doing this doesn’t ever lead to valid conclusions.

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