Nine and a half things we learned from the media this week

By Sir Hardly Anyone

For the past year or two the media has filled up blank spots on its web sites with a range of articles that began with “Three things we learned this week”, and then not to be outdone by a rival became “Five things we learned this week” which soon mutated into “Seven things”.

Mostly there are not things learned but rather random ways of filling up the page.  But of course we must take note of our august colleagues in the mass (but now rather less massive than before) media.  So this is what they have got up to (and if you get the reference to nine and a half weeks in the headline, you’ll know that such things never end well.  If not you can look it up).

1:  With nothing else to say on Arsenal we’re back to the alleged wage demands of Alexis and Ozil – and this works as long as no one notices that no agent ever releases wage demands for fear the Revenue and Customs in the UK will present a tax bill equal to those demands.  Everyone’s got this story.

2: A few more people than before see refereeing as a story to follow  as with the Telegraph’s headline Jose Mourinho accuses referee Michael Oliver of costing Man Utd in four matches – but is this correct?

3: The Indy is still short of proof readers as per its headline Carragher furiously after Redknapp interrupts his Liverpool analysis

4: The unsurprising can still be news…West Ham freeze season ticket prices for second successive year

5:  Evangelos Marinakis, the infamous match fixing owner of Olympiakos, is holding secret talks with Nottingham Forest to join forces with Fawaz al-Hasawi to bring his own kind of leadership and winning mentality to a club near to relegation towards League One.  That observation (although without the match fixing bit) comes from the Guardian.

6: Blatter is not news any more except in the Mail who go with    Disgraced former FIFA president Blatter branded ‘reckless’ as CAS release written reasons for his suspension

The story reads that “The Court of Arbitration for Sport branded former FIFA president Sepp Blatter ‘reckless’ for paying £1.3million to Michel Platini. Blatter failed in his appeal to CAS to overturn his suspension in August.”

7:  Staying with the Daily Mail, it seems not everyone likes Mourinho these days.  Their headline on the story reads: “The Manchester United boss is a master of the dark arts.”

8:  But to be fair to the neo-fascists they are paying attention to football in a way that most newspapers are finding it tough to do.  As with Jenkinson the saviour for Arsenal U23s as he scores late equaliser in six-goal thriller against Manchester City

9:  And they know their discipline too as they tell us that the Football Association are “considering enlisting the advice of a cultural expert to determine if abuse from rival fans during Tottenham’s FA Cup match against Millwall is deemed racist before deciding whether to charge both clubs.”

The problem seems to be that Millwall’s travelling support chanted ‘DVD’ and ‘He’s selling three for a fiver’, and this may or may not be considered anti-Asian abuse, when directed at Son Heung-Min.

Interestingly the Mail also tells us that “Millwall and Tottenham fans are kept away from each other by police and stewards” which is quite a remarkable innovation; never heard of that before.

But back to the main thrust of the piece.

9.5  The Tiny Totts are also facing potential action after it emerged their supporters chanted ‘no noise from the pikey boys’ which could be deemed an offensive reference to travellers (if that is the correct word, and my apologies if not.  We don’t see this community very often in Rutland so I can’t ask.

The FA have, according to the Mail, consulted two experts before deciding to charge Nicolas Anelka for the anti-Semitic ‘quenelle’ gesture he made celebrating a goal that earned him a five-match ban and fine in 2014. The striker argued the gesture was anti-system not anti-Semitic.  Now more experts will decide what can and can’t be shouted.   

Which is interesting given that at the Lincoln game we had a load of seven year olds calling the Lincoln fans “f****** c****”

Anyway the Mail also tells us that “the FA also gained the opinion of two experts on South American linguistics and culture in the 2011 disciplinary case involving Luis Suarez who was accused of racially abusing Patrice Evra and received an eight match ban and fine.

A Millwall spokesman said: ‘Millwall have led the way on anti-discrimination initiatives and will continue to do so. The club is assisting the FA with their investigation and will make no further comment until that process is complete.’

And although that ends the nine and a half I have a few more from the Daily Excess which likes things in bold so I have left them as they publish them.

9.6   Premier League stats: Most tormented stars this season revealed

WHICH Premier League aces have been bullied the most in 2016/17 so far?

9.7   Monaco v Man City Exclusive: Richard Dunne expecting another Champions League thriller

IT WILL be a short, leisurely walk from his home to the Stade Louis II Stadium tomorrow night

9.8  These Premier League giants all rely on one star: Spurs have shown the cost – Ian Wright

IAN WRIGHT has warned Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal the cost of relying to heavily on..   Well on things.

And that’s more of less it from the press box today.    Do say things that won’t get you into trouble like “f****** c****” but don’t say things that might do once the cultural experts have had their say.

OH, AND do put the first word or two of a sentence in capitals.  It gives a certain sense of English earthiness.


33 Replies to “Nine and a half things we learned from the media this week”

  1. “Which is interesting given that at the Lincoln game we had a load of seven year olds calling the Lincoln fans “f****** c****””

    Which news outlet reported this nugget? Did they have a reporter in the family enclosure? Did they take the children’s ages? Are there in fact “a load of seven year olds” attending out matches.
    Don’t want their sort at The Emirates. Take away their season tickets.
    Ban the lot of them, and all living relatives.

  2. 9.8 These Premier League giants all rely on one star: Spurs have shown the cost – Ian Wright

    IAN WRIGHT has warned Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal the cost of relying too heavily on.. Well on things.

    -Yep, that’s about right for these numbnuts..

    Scream all summer long how, if you want to win the league, you have to have a 20/25 goal a season striker you can rely on.

    Then criticise those that have one for relying on him.

    You couldn’t make it up.

  3. Plenty of noise about for the video of a silly Totts fella getting dropped by a Millwall type after the match. Not that I in any way endorse mindless violence, but it has induced a snigger or three…

  4. Another news point involving FIFA (from InsideWorldFootball), is wondering if the USA is still going to be policing corruption in World Football. I would suspect that Donald the Chump has talked to the attorney general, and asked that these cases be silently dropped because these are all personal friends of the Donald. But, maybe your interpretation is different from mine.


    On the stupid anti-Arsenal protest front, one toilet paper has an article showing a protest sign comparing Wenger to Mugabe. This person needs to spend time in jail. Preferably in a place with similar human rights to conditions Mugabe imposed.

  5. Trump is dumb, or beyond dumb.

    But there is no place in this universe where comparing Mugabe and Wenger makes any sense whatsoever.

    If you would like to compare Trump and Mugabe, by all means go ahead.

    But, I gather from your comment, that you are the person who put up this stupid protest thing comparing Mugabe and Wenger.

  6. @Gord – ‘toilet paper’ has me smiling and the rest has me nodding in approval 🙂
    @Sir Hardly – THANK YOU

  7. Weird some teams are better equipped to beat certain teams yet lose to others, plus attitude and “dodgy” refereeing decisions obviously.

  8. It’s a much more enjoyable viewing experience when the commentators and the fans get behind the English teams.. except for one.

  9. Great for Leicester, very true and good luck to them…. But wait until tomorrow, this will be another stick to beat Arsenal with….

  10. For full disclosure Knobby I’m WOB, some criticism would be justified….will fall on deaf ears, anyway, COYG….

  11. The opponent’s are in a different league, why we always get barca and bayern is another debate….

  12. It should, support the team come what may, but managers come and go……..eventually………………………………………………………..has he gone yet……………………nope??

  13. The thing is Kris.. I will accept that perhaps the time may be over at Arsenal for Arsene…
    But I cannot accept the name calling, the lack of respect the senile, the stubborn the Arsene outs are putting the backs up of anyone who respects Arsene and all he has done for our club.
    In reality he isn’t keeping us at the very top, but he isn’t falling far below where we should be..

  14. Strange …..Leicester will be used by many as a stick with which to beat Arsenal……but not a stick to beat a team loved by the WOB/media who did even worse than we did in this years Champions League, in fact that did worse than Wengers teams have done for approaching two decades
    But, don’t let reality ruin a good agenda

  15. Arsene Wenger Out campaign goes Stateside as (ONE) disgruntled Arsenal fan holds up banner at MLS game .
    I just wonder what the fans of the teams playing must have been thinking .
    Any chance that this ‘movement’ could snowball ? Not a chance in hell ?
    Thought so too !

  16. I wonder what people would say if this CL qualification cost Leicester their PL status at the end of the season…. Only 3 points above the drop zone.

  17. Walter
    The same thing they say about us, what’s the point of qualifying for the last 16.

  18. People so unhappy with an English team getting into the CL last eight. If Citeh join them that is two clubs with management change finding their feet in the CL. Try as Arsene might, he does not seem capable of that. Whenever a club states it has been in a comp many years running the first question is: how many times have you won it? Say never and people just move on to where the real action is.

  19. Bugger off ossasa, your constant moaning and snipping is getting boring. Show him the red card Tony or Walter he is an obvious troll.

  20. People don’t ask stupid questions. What have you achieved in the last 10 years?
    4 trophies & loads of Money – few hundred million pounds. Each time we qualified for the champions league we made more than we won with trophies.

    Now isn’t that incredible. The last candidate won the EPL & qualified for the champions league but got sacked. Any ideas why?

    Yes his paymasters don’t understand the game. There are two sides to it. Glory & Finance. The Glory is what the fans want & the Finance is what the owners want. If the owners are driven by fans, then the club can kiss goodbye to success in the long term. Getting rid of asset in the form of managerial staff is an expensive process & does not guarantee results. It may show change but in reality it is just knee jerk reaction.

  21. It is so easy for the WOB’s on UA to whine about AFC’s CL performances but Leicester or city have not met Barca or Bayern twice in a row and when they do they’ll be out as fast as Arsenal.Where is their justification to remove Wenger? Usually it is based on how old he’s getting,how poor a manager he is, etc….all the while ignoring his recent successes!
    Give Arsenal City,Chelsea or united’s wealth and then we are talking comparative equality….until then stop whining and start supporting!

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