By Sir Hardly Anyone
Naturally as a member of the aristocracy I don’t normally work in the afternoons, but having been up all night helping our great and glorious Prime Minister win another landslide by keeping spirits up in the pub, I thought I’d better do a quick roundup before I go to the victory celebration.
Of course I haven’t heard the results yet – I do find the radio and television coverage very mucky and working class, so as I am at home awaiting the celebratory drive to town to see St Theresa, I thought I would jot down a few notes.
Although I can say that in a referendum held alongside the Generalissimo Election my beloved county of Rutland has voted to Leave the United Kingdom, I shall be representing the Glorious Peoples in the forthcoming negotiations.
I’ve divided my essay below into sections to make it easier for those who did not have the benefit of the sort of public school education I got: Incoming players, Outgoing players, Remaining players and Deals not happening.
PART ONE Incoming players
Opening: We’re in difficulty
There is an article in the rather sweet bloggetta Sportskeeda that says “Arsenal can’t compete with biggest clubs – Wenger” and that I think tells its own tale.
And indeed it reminds us to be reasonable. Arsenal is but one team, and clubs supported by oil gigantia or decades of worldwide marketing really are not within our reach. We do our best, be upstanding, fight the good fight and should be happy with that.
Now to the players
1: Danilo Pereira
“Arsenal still in the race for Portuguese midfield enforcer” says Gunnersphere. And indeed we can see this as calciomercato.com says “Arsenal maintain an interest in Porto midfielder Danilo Pereira, but they will face competition from Serie A champions Juventus.” He’s 25 and has played 61 times for Porto scoring ten goals.
2: Mario Lemina
Juventus central midfielder Mario Lemina admits he’s flattered by Arsenal links according to Squawka. He is 23, he comes from Gabon and has played 29 times for Juventus.
3: Lacazette
Now I am told Mr Wenger has been spotted on the beach, or was that at the airport, anyway it was in France and according to the Metro “Wenger meets with club president in France to complete record Arsenal transfer”. The meeting is with the Lyon president not the president of the bowls club in Rutlandshire, which is of course me. The fee is £50m.
Now my stockbroker has called me to say that there has been a bit of argybargy on the stockmarkets today and the pound is on the down against the old Micky Mouse currencies they use in foreign parts so that might change, but the Sun, a paper which knows as thing or two says it is on.
4: Pizzi
Arsenal have been joined by Liverpool and Juventus in the race (yes once again it is a race) to sign Benfica playmaker Pizzi, according to the Correio de Manha. He’s a playmaker and he’s with Benfica.
He’s played 87 times for Benfica and since joining them has also played with Espanyol 34 times on loan.
5: James Rodriguez
“Arsenal In For Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez?” asks Vital Football and “Arsenal make official bid for James Rodriguez” replies Sports Mole.
He’s the captain of Columbia, he’s an attacking midfielder who can also play on the wing, and he plays for Real Mad having come from Monaco in 2014. He has knocked up 77 games for Real Mad and scored 38 goals.
6: Jordon Pickford
Arsenal expected to bid for Sunderland’s Jordan Pickford – but will it be in goalkeeper’s interest?” asks Chronicle Live. I don’t know the answer but in terms of keepers Arsenal have the three they used this past season, plus one whose been lurking in Italy and whose name I can’t spell, so this would make five. Do we need five?
7: Kylian Mbappe
“Arsenal Ready To Trump Man Utd’s £113m Striker Bid With World Record £120m Offer” says Football-Talk although there is no evidence to support this amazing statement, so maybe we should have a pinch of salt as my young nanny used to say as she sat on my grand dad’s knee.
8: Marco Asensio
Real Madrid midfielder Marco Asensio is unhappy with his contract situation at the Madhouse and wants an improved deal from Real president Florentino Perez, according to Don Balon. The Ball says that Asensio’s position has come to the attention of Arsenal, Roma and Manchester United, as well it might.
He’s a 21 year old attacking midfielder and is apparently related to my stockbroker.
9: Patrik Schick
Arsenal given hope in their pursuit of the ‘Next Ibrahimovic’ pronounces Gunnersphere. Apparently Arsenal are sneaking in because “Juventus are yet to seal a deal for Sampdoria striker Patrik Schick after the player confirmed that he is still considering “other options.”
So that’s the nine on the way. Now we move onto
PART TWO: Leaving Players
1: David Ospina
All Arsenal report that Arsenal and Fenerbache have agreed a €3.5 Million Deal For David Ospina. It’s quoted in Euros as the pound has just sunk to 12 to the pebble on the beach.
2: Bellerin
Fan Sided tell us that Bellerin has reached a deal with Barcelona although quite how they know but no one else does, is not clear.
101 Great Goals gives us “The one reason Bellerin to Barcelona could seriously happen” which is that Bellerin is homesick, which I think we have been told before.
And finally the Metro, not one to be left out, says “Barcelona give Arsenal choice of three players in Bellerin transfer deal” which I must say is jolly generous of them given that we don’t want him to go in the first place.
3: Alexis
Arsenal superstar set for summer switch to Bayern Munich in bumper €8.5 million-a-year deal” says the aardvark (sorry the ard tackle, my mistake). Which is a bit confusing when all those jolly nice Manchester City fans who were on here the other day spent their time says that he was going to Manchester. I hope they are not too disappointed.
4: Gibbs
The Transfer Tavern tells us that Gibbs is off in the summer, although you might care to read the “Players Staying” section just below.
5: Coquelin
This story, like the Gibbestian rumours, has been around for a while. HITC announces that “Arsenal put midfielder up-for-sale this summer… and he could be ideal for West Ham”
Players Staying
1: Monreal and Gibbs
Both staying according to reports in several sources.
2: Ozil and Sanchez
Ozil and Sanchez are also staying at Arsenal. This comes from Sportskeeda who are also regularly saying that they are leaving.
3: Holding
Arsenal ready to reward excelling ace with new five-figure contract reports Arsenal Mania. I think we’d all be amazed if he left.
Deals not happening
1: Kylian Mbappe.
Manchester United are the latest club to make a bid for Monaco striker Kylian Mbappe we are told with an offer of around £113m. Apparently Arsenal, Manchester City and Real Madrid have also made bids and Mr Wenger has urged the player to pick his next club carefully
2: Alexis Sanchez
RealSport has an article telling Manchester City why Alexis Sanchez would be a waste of money
Right that’s it so I’m going to breeze into Downing Street and give our Glorious Leader a hug and my congratulations on a job well done yesterday. I’ll let her tell me the majority. I know that will give her a thrill.
- Liverpool and the notion of small-club mentality
- Conservative Party losses means government plan of taking over and running the internet likely to be shelved
- Saudi Arabia national team refuse to observe minute’s silence for those killed in London, before match.
Transfer news: Kylian Mbappe poised to snub interest from Arsenal and Real Madrid and commit to Monaco
Read more at http://talksport.com/football/transfer-news-kylian-mbappe-poised-snub-interest-arsenal-and-real-madrid-and-commit-monaco#EYRWcoRUjmE17pAL.99
Kylian Mbappe has a made decision on his future – and it’s bad news for Arsenal talkSPORT 16:21
Arsenal ready to reward excelling ace with new five-figure contract Arsenal Mania 18:40
Arsenal get Alexandre Lacazette boost after Liverpool target makes major transfer U-turn Football.London 18:39
Barcelona News: Arsenal given pick of three players to seal Hector Bellerin transfer Daily and Sunday Express 18:38
Jack Wilshere’s Star Continues To Dim uMAXit 18:09
Sir,
You will now be aware that the Club has confirmed that four players will leave this summer at the end of their contracts – Yaya Sangiovese, Stefan O’Connor, Kristopher da Grace and Kostas Pileas. Regrettably none will be greatly missed as they failed to show the hoped for progress.
The Lord of the Transfer Window: Sir Hardly Anyone.
You make the transfer window even look like fun and something to look forward to. Got to give you credit for that 🙂
Haven signed the Left back Kolasinac, what I believe remain for Arsenal to do during this current summer window is to sign a bully centreback in the like of Sol Campbell, a bully midfield enforcer in the likes of Patrick Viera or Roy Kean formally of Alex Ferguson’s Man Utd and a dominat bully centre forward in like of Thierry O’Henry or Harry Kane of Spurs. And replace the perennial injury crisis Santi Cazorla with his fit like or better still, the like of the dribbling ace midfielder – Patrick Ljungberg.
But where will Arsenal find all these three bully players and a Ljungberg like midfielder to replace Santi Cazorla in the transfer market to make the Gunners team once again the formidable team and unbeaten team they were? Difficult! But a striker bully in the person of Diego Costa could be available this summer for a snap up. Doth he didn’t ticked all the boxes in the area of age as he has clock 28 years in age. But he’s still very good to lead the line for Arsenal playing in front of Sanchez or beside him for Arsenal for a sustainable PL title challenge next season. Therefore, Arsenal should snap him up imho. Then, they should start looking for the remain two bullies of a centreback and a DM and also the correct replacement for Santi Cazorla.
Pls substitute Freddie Ljungberg for Patrick Ljungberg.
Samuel, we already have the defender – Rob Holding our very own baby faced assassin. At 22 years old he is still learning his job but has been hugely impressive in his games at the end of the season.
Were we to have the overtly physical players of the type you advocate they would be sent off virtually every game.
I agree with Andrew when he points out the downside of players who are too physical. The game has changed somewhat from the ‘Invincibles’ era, and while still physical; has tougher penalties imposed by referees. Rob Holding has great potential, and I’d love to see how well Kolasinac does. If we had James Rodriguez, Alexandre Lacazette, Mario Lemina and Pickford; it would certainly make for an interesting season
Mirror had a story about an idiot oh Arsenal fan who spoilt he’s vote with the Wenger out rubbish.
That’s fine but the story grew to Arsenal fans with one site showing multiple pictures of spoilt ballot papers.
Now if you look not so closely you will see all but one picture the rest are the same ballot paper.
The other is a different ballot paper all together look at the conservative logo completely different not sure its real or its from a different election.
Looks like Talking Baws has been caught lying and making stuff up.
Just a point it’s against the law to spoil a vote on purpose as well as take pictures of them. Not sure if it’s against the law to publish them.
On other news, Mister “not good enough for Arsenal” just scored his 27th goal (and what a beauty) for the French national team, tying Mister “world class striker” in 18 less games and 2000 less minutes…
And by the way, Mister “not good enough for Arsenal” actually has a better goal/match ratio for the French national team than Mister best player of Arsenal history…
And Giroud plays in a less talented team than the team from those days who became world champions and Europeaan champions! The current generation has too many bottlers like Lloris 😉 ouch….
Imagine if Lloris was an Arsenal goalkeeper, the media will go all ballistic with negativity against Arsenal. I haven’t seen any negative article about Spurs so far.
Vince, re your 8.33pm
I make it seven less games than Henry. Still very impressive though
Correction, six less games.
The “world class striker” I’m talking about in my first post is not Henry, but the blackmailing expert from Madrid…
I myself and others here on Untold have over the years produced statistic after statistic to show just how good a striker Giroud is.
I did it again only recently following his hat-trick.
His figures stack up very well, not only against the top strikers in the PL but around Europe and the World.
Not only that but, as has been pointed out, his record for France is brilliant in, again as pointed out, an era when the overall team is not of the quality of later years.
Another myth was that he doesn’t score against big clubs. I did a post dispelling that.
Another Myth was he needed twice as many chances as anyone else to score his goals. This was simply not true.
When he had his one and only really bad run people started pointing out his ‘terrible’ misses in the context that nobody else would EVER miss such sitters. Just google ‘Embarrassing misses by (insert your favourite striker)’ and you will see every striker has as many bad days at the office as Giroud, and many have more.
I did a post in 2015 showing how our results improved whenever he played.
As has been shown this year, he’s not only effective from kick-off but very very effective from the bench.
I am not, and never have tried to say he’s a Messi or Ronaldo, or even an Henry, despite his bare stats comparing very well, again in an era when we are apparently crap.
But what I am saying is that those who say he’s ‘not Arsenal class’ are simply talking rubbish. It’s as simple as that.
The guy is not only Arsenal class, he is World Class and his performances and statistics prove that beyond any reasonable doubt.
But alas he plays for Arsenal and will never get the recognition he deserves, not least because a lot of our own fans haven’t got brains of there own and simply believe what the likes of Adrian Durham tell them to believe.
Vince
Right. Now I get it.
All the same Giroud’s stats compare quite well with Henry’s, even though his first eleven internationals were not as a striker.
…that’s Henry’s first eleven international’s (before he joined Arsenal), not Giroud’s.
Well said Nitram. I think Giroud is under-rated because people see him as slow and doesn’t do fancy dribble around defenders and score. But I admit sometimes Giroud frustrates me in some of the matches though.
I think if Giroud played for another club, all those Giroud haters would be the first to demand Arsenal to sign him.
If Perez stays at Arsenal, I would like him to be given more game time as a striker, I think if given more time and with the number of chances created by Arsenal, he has potential to be a top top class striker.
Polo
Thanks.
I agree Giroud frustrates me too at times.
But so did Henry. So did Berkamp, my favourite Arsenal player, ever.
So as much he can frustrate, that’s hardly a trait unique to him, and in no way gives credence those that dismiss him.
I agree regarding Perez too. For whatever reason it’s been tough for him to get much game time, but when he has he’s appeared to me to have all the ingredients needed to become a top striker.
So I will be very happy if he stays, and then only time will tell if we are correct.
Nitram
Tks for your note i recieved through the back channel.
I humbly apologse for the mistaken identity but i dare to say that your posts look so similar to the ones our common friend here was posting till last year.
I hope you will forgive me for my mistake and wish we can find our missing freind sooner than later.
Keep on the good work.
Coyg.
People forget Girouds winner in crunch matches.His memorable headers at Etihad in 2014 , At Emirates against Bayern in 2015 and the most recent one against United at Old Traff.
All of them were majestic match winning or saving ones.