The remaining seven players that Arsenal are still chasing. Apparently one of them is coming our way.

By the Very Bold, Sir Hardly Anyone.

Actually I didn’t mean to be in bold, it just happened, so I paid Tony £1m for it to stay like that.  Typesetting correction fees have escalated in the past year apparently, and although I expressed surprise, he did tell me that they are index linked to transfer fees, so that explains it.

Anyway, best story of the day, by which I mean the stupidist comes from Givemesport which has the wonderful headline “Rob Holding reveals what he said to anger Diego Costa in FA Cup final”.  You have to scroll down about 35 furlongs to find out it was “****ing nutter,” and then wonder if it was worth waiting for.

However on the train back from the Emirates Cup James put forward the theory that Mertesacker and Holding were playing good cop / bad cop with the nutter, throughout the FA Cup Final.  Holding would scream in his face, and Mert would then pat him on the back and say something nice.   I rather like that idea.  It would certainly have proved quite difficult for Costa to work out, and may have resulted in him running around the pitch shouting “Do not compute” over and over again.

Anyway, speaking of nutters, this is what the nutters are up on in the blogs and papers…

1: Ousmane Dembele 

Arsenal have “reportedly” had a bid for the Borussia Dortmund ‘s Ousmane Dembele turned down. He’s 20 and he’s a forward, and he plays for France.

2: Thomas Lemar

Charlie Nicholas has advised Arsene Wenger to sell Alexis Sanchez and spend £100m on two new signings, one of which should be Thomas Lemar, the other a top defender of uncertain origin and definition.

But Liverpool are prepared to outbid Arsenal all the way to the end in Lemar Land.

But then again Sky Sports journalist Dharmesh Sheth really really really reckons he has this one tied up as after Arsenal have allegedly made three bids for the player Sheth has concluded that Lemar will either go to Arsenal or he won’t.  And for that I think we all have to be grateful.

The player is valued at £80m, no, £85m, no £90m, no £100m, no…  “Another story that refuses to go away despite one club’s insistence that the player will not be sold is Monaco winger Thomas Lemar,” said Sheth.

Let me explain.  The stories don’t go away because the broadcasters, newspapers and their blogggettas keep running them.  Over and over and over.  Is that clear now Mr Sheth?

Friday’s edition of L’Equipe suggests that Monaco are going to sign Rachid Ghezzal from Lyon on a free transfer and so Arsenal will now get their man.

3:  Yann Karamoh

This is the name on everyone’s lips as Tottenham and Arsenal go head to head or something like that.  He is a striker and he plays for Caen and the Mirror and the Sun think this is a definite, but they can’t decide which club.   Oh and Inter Milan want him too, but Arsenal are willing to pay more.  According to Gianluca Di Marzio.  And the Daily Express.

Karamoh says he prefers a move to Inter Milan who have made a lower offer to secure his signature but are in the EU so he won’t be thrown out in 18 months.

4:  Jean-Michael Seri

Yes he is awfully Nice [actually I think you will find he plays for Nice and we’ve now done that joke 7375 times, so no more – Tony] and is our secondary target after Thomas Lemar.  According to reports in the Mirror and the Mail.

He’s a central midfielder and in the last two seasons he has played 72 league matches for Nice.  (Look no joke!) And he’s 26.

5.  Ross Barkley

I am not sure how strongly we should consider this one as it comes from Perry Groves.  Now Perry is an awfully nice bloke from what I can see, but also he thinks we should drop Bellerin and the Ox from the first team.

Ross Barkley plays for Everton is an attacking midfielder and is 23 years old (in case you had forgotten).

6: Steven N’Zonzi

Perry also thinks we should buy Steven N’Zonzi., according to the Express which is one of many papers that has started to opt for wish lists rather than rumours.  Unfortunately as the player’s full name is Steven N’Kemboanza Mike Christopher N’Zonzi it won’t fit on the shirt, so I think that one is off.  He’s 28, players for Sevilla and is a midfielder.

7: Juan Cuadrado

Juventus are demanding £31.6m, but three other clubs in Serie A want him.  He’s Columbian, and has played for Udinese, Lecce, Fiorentina and Chelsea, unti Juve got him.   But he’s 29 which is a bit old for a Wengerian player.  Bids are reputedly flowing in and not just from other Italian clubs.

And that seems to be about that for today.

We will find some more make believe in a day or three.

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3 Replies to “The remaining seven players that Arsenal are still chasing. Apparently one of them is coming our way.”

  1. As the season is about to burst into life , and after having probably the most sane close season ever personally , I think its about time I too burst into life ! And action.
    Well I do . And how else then by dispensing an adequate dose of humour and lightheartedness . From the files of the nonexistent Medical Division of Untold Arsenal , we present the following to enhance your medical knowledge.

    So here goes , with a heart warming tale of how an arsehole became a hero.
    Am not in any way making inferences on posters here.
    Really !

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeVLxcekEsw

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