The fake news transfers: beware you are being conned two ways round

By Sir Hardly Anyone

It is not just that 97% of these rumours are likely to turn out to be untrue, but that there is other news of importance out there.  The utterly wild and ludicrous claims by PGMO, provided without any of the evidence Walter and his team provided in the 160 game analysis, the reports of wholesale racial abuse of young players throughout England, West Ham demanding that the state pays for policing of its plans (as well as giving it a huge discount on its minuscule rent if they get relegated) and so on.

All of this is being written out of the mainstream narrative of football as presented in newspapers, blogs, and the broadcast media and instead we get some speculation about the England team and made up transfer news.

In effect not only is the reporting lunatic (no newspaper as far as I know, and none of the broadcast media, pointed out the disparities that Walter reported), it was bland and uncritical in the extreme.  When you consider how much print and “expert analysis” goes into transfer rumours, the level of critical analysis of the referee press release was ludicrous.

So why do we focus on fake transfers?  Basically to bring home the fact that this nonsense is out there as a cover for the real stories that are affecting football.  We are all being conned and here are just a few of today’s leading con artist reports…

FANTASY 1 – the keepers: 

The Sun tells us that Arsenal are making a bid of £25m for Bayer Leverkusen goalkeeper Bernd Leno this summer.  But instead may also go for Jan Oblak this summer after the Atletico Madrid goalkeeper admitted his future is uncertain.

Jan Oblak has allegedly admitted he is uncertain what will happen next after four years at Atletico having arrived previously from Benfica. also run the story.  Liverpool, we are told are on red alert.

The Daily Cannon, never knowingly outdone in these matters says “It’s starting to look more and more like Arsenal will need to find a new goalkeeper for the number one position this summer, so who are the options to replace Petr Čech?”  It then gives a whacking great list.

FANTASY 2 – the youngster: 

Tottenham and Arsenal both allegedly want to sign Fenerbahce 15 year old Omer Beyaz, according to reports in Turkey.  He is 1a number 10 and plays in the under 17s.   Real Mad also want him too.  Obviously he can’t move until he is 16, and no one is going to touch him before that, are they?

FANTASY 3:  The problem of Perez. 

There is a very strange story about Lukas Perez in the Standard saying he can’t settle at Deportivo de la Coruna who have had a “desperately poor season” getting four goals in 22 games.  That seems a trifle harsh because although Perez had one good season with 18 in 37 (2015/16) that was an abnormality, and his current goalscoring rate is not far from his norm.

Deportivo are currently 19th out of 20th in the league so it is hardly Lukas’ fault, and it said in the paper that to escape the jeering of fans he wants to come back Arsenal where as we know the media will of course give him at the club a very easy ride.

So it seems we might get him back as there are still two years on his contract although this will impinge on the wages restrictions that the league introduced.  The answer would therefore seem likely to be that he could move on a free, allowing the buying club to continue to pay his wages and set that against the transfer fee they might normally pay.   

FANTASY 4: Our Hector

As we know Hector Bellerin left Arsenal last summer, because all the media said he was going, and it is hardly the media’s fault if reality fails to keep up.   So Arsenal need a new full back and Football London (which now won’t let us read their ramblings without watching their advertising video first, which I was too bored to do) are now quoting Goal to say that “Manchester United full-back Matteo Darmian is at the top of Arsenal’s transfer shortlist for the summer.”

Actually there is a very funny line in this which says, “With doubts over Hector Bellerin’s future at the Emirates, the Italian defender could be a target for Arsene Wenger, who is reportedly an admirer.”  Those “doubts” from last year turned out to be a complete media fabrication, but now, it seems have become a reality.

How tenuous do you want to be?

FANTASY 5: We decamp to a whole new continent.

Try this one.  Arsene Wenger “has reportedly deployed his scouting team to set up camp in South America and check out the prospects of Olimpico midfielder, Richard Sanchez.”  That one had the whole of Untold’s collected collective falling about, although whether it was the notion of setting up camp on an entire continent with a size of 17.84 million km² to get one Paraguayan player, or the deployment of an entire scouting team to do so, I cannot say.

He’s just been picked to play for his country and is reported as saying that was “very nice”.




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