8 Astoundingly astounding transfer stories you really shouldn’t believe unless paid to.

By Sir Hardly Anyone

At least you shouldn’t believe them because as the last two summers have shown only one in 33 of all such rumours is true and we’ve only got eight here.  But still, there ain’t much other news around so let’s do a quick round up.

1: Max Meyer

Max is reportedly keen on a move to Arsenal this summer when his Schalke contract expires.  This from the Daily Canon which has one of those pesky pop ups that if you click one side goes away but if you click another side takes you to a gambling site.  And it seems to me they have just reversed which side you have to click.

Anyway, Max.  He’s a forward.  Or an attacking midfielder.  Or a deep lying playmaker.  So he’s Ozil.

He once played for Schalke 04 second team and scored two goals so was immediately put in the first team and since then has played 145 times and scored 17.  Oh yes and he is the new Santi Cazorla.

2: Keylor Navas

When a story comes from HITC via Don Balon then it is worth getting the pinch of sodium chloride out, but what they claim is that this is a “Report” and the report headline proclaims that “Real Madrid ace Keylor Navas tells teammate he could join Arsenal in the summer”

He’s a goalkeeper he’s 31 and he has played 89 times for the Real Mad Men since 2014.

But like all stories about goalkeepers this ignores the vast array of talented keepers we have coming up through the ranks.

3: Dean Henderson

Read Arsenal and many other bloggettas love to lead their stories in a way that leaves no doubt that Arsenal are after the player.  As with, “Arsenal target Dean Henderson wants to leave Manchester United this summer in a search for regular first-team football, according to the Mirror.”

And lo and behold! here we have another young goalkeeper who “wants to secure a permanent transfer after making the step up into senior football this season.”  His experience has been a loan with… “promotion-chasing Shrewsbury”.

And why would that put him above Iliev, Macey and Virginia, not to mention Martinez?  Is he really a target?

Football London also run with this story using remarkably similar language.  Odd that.

4: Kai Havertz

According to the Metro “Arsenal are leading Liverpool in race to sign Kai Havertz” and apparently he “idolises Mesut Ozil”.

Kai, who is no relation to Joe (geddit?) is a midfielder who plays for Bayer Leverkusen and was their youngest ever debutante in the League and their youngest ever goalscorer.  He’s played 43 and scored six.  The Sun tell us that the scouts are out watching him.

5: Wilfred Ndidi

Another midfielder – he plays for Leicester having knocked up 43 games since moving from Genk.  But Gooner Talk think it is on.   As does, “Mad about EPL” another bloggetta.

African Football have this story too, adding, “The Gunners have reportedly been in contact with Ndidi’s representatives over a transfer, though they are likely to face competition from the likes of Liverpool and Manchester United.”

Mind you Ndidi allegedly spoke to The Sun.  His minders really ought to be helping him avoid such perils; there’s no telling what nasty illness one might pick up.



6: Panagiotis Retsos

4th official claims Arsenal are “keeping close tabs on Bayer Leverkusen’s blossoming youngster, Panagiotis Retsos, as per one of the latest reports by Goal.”    He was born in Johannesburg to Greek parents and plays for Bayer Leverkusen, who only bought him last summer.   He’s basically a defender.


7:  The boss

Oh yes and there is a manager transfer as Read Arsenal tell us “ARSENAL ALERTED AS SERIE A BOSS EXPRESSES DESIRE TO WORK ABROAD”

And the man is Juventus manager Massimiliano Allegri.  They got that from the Telegraph.   But the Daily Canon, always up with the news, or at least up something, claim that there will be no vacancy because ohhhhhhh – Mr Wenger has one more year on his contract.

8: On the Way Out

According to She Wore a Yellow Ribbon “Arsenal never really wanted to sign Alexandre Lacazette Over the years, we were offered him up numerous times by Lyon. Each time a decision was made that the French international was not top level. Not good enough for The Arsenal. Inferior to Olivier Giroud (who starts ahead of him for France) and Alexis Sanchez.   Last summer we finally decided to sign him, for a club record price. But even then, we did not really want him.”

So now apparently we are going to sell him.

A curious tale.




4 Replies to “8 Astoundingly astounding transfer stories you really shouldn’t believe unless paid to.”

  1. The Lacazette news is apparently what Ornstein found out recently and he mentioned it in the arsecast with Arseblog 2 months ago or so that Arsene didnt really fancy Lacazette, odd that we spent so much on him though…..

  2. @Ben–

    Assuming Laca’s knee has been part of his early-subbing all season? That his surgery was optimal?
    If he continues with the style he put forth in his 30 minute Stoke stint– more than AW will be pleased he’s here.


  3. jw1, I think the early-subbing start to the season was intended as a was of keeping Laca fit for the year. The knee injury was a completely unforeseen issue.
    Unfortunately despite every single player that’s ever joined the PL from another league saying it, there’s a lot of fans that don’t understand how much of a step up the PL is physically.
    So IMO with 3 different styles of CF in AL, OG and DW the manager wanted to keep opposition guessing, whilst all 3 had some game-time, but with a few less minutes they should all be a little less injury prone due to fatigue…. Obviously it didn’t work, but I think that was the plan for year 1 with Laca.

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