The 75 players (yes really, 75) we are buying with at least 3 NOW (or so I’m told)

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Now the distraction of getting a new manager is over the fantasists (or “football correspondents as they like to be called) are back in operation throughout the public houses of central London and docklands.  Below is a list of players were are apparently signing so far, including some interesting recent additions including…

Mario Balotelli who as been found by Football London as a viable additional centre forward for Arsenal, presumably as an addition to Auba and Laca.  Oh yes and Danny.   Do we call that option “interesting” I wonder.  We were, after all, about to sign him last summer, and the summer before that, and the summer before that.

Gunnersphere blame the Sun for the story that Arsenal are after “Roma powerhouse” Radja Nainggolan, who is expected to cost around £45m.  “Powerhouse” means “midfielder” in English.

Jose Gimenez of Atletico Madrid is another player who has just been discovered with pen poised in hand ready to sign a new deal, but immediately we are told that no Real Madrid have outbid us – we get interested in a player and lose out all in one day.  But elsewhere we are still on the  list of suiters.

The Lichtsteiner story came in just a moment too late for our last chart so he’s now been added and we now also have news of Radja Nainggolan.  And if that is not enough we are also signing Lucas Torreira.

But you know I would have a little more faith in all these crazy tales if the bloggettas and newspapers that publish them had the decency to accept responsibility for the story – but each and every one lays the blame at someone else’s door.  Indeed the phrase “According to” is just about the most used phrase in football journalism these days.

So instead of calling them journalists, I think we should called them “Accordingto’s”

Oh yes, and there is a new goal keeping coach (allegedly).  We’ve tucked him in at the foot of the list.  Here we go with the full list…

No. Player From Source Information
Update Yacine Adli PSG Sport Review.  Talk Sport says the deal is certainly on for a mere £250,000.  Mirror says it is for sure. Barcelona Manchester City,  Bayern Munich and Juventus want him.  He’s a wonderkid.  All set to sign NOW (DZ)
 2 Marco Asensio  Real Madrid Guardian Liverpool will pay up to £131m, Chelsea also keen.
 3 Álvaro Odriozola Arzallus Real Sociedad Football London Mainly right back can also play on the wing
 4 Leon Bailey Bayer Leverkusen Talk Sprout; Football London Cost £100m, he’s a winger or a midfielder who gives assists.  Chelsea more likely
NEW Mario Balotelli Nice Football London (who else?), Mirror, La Gazetta dello Sport “He’s rebuilt his reputation in France”
6 Ever Banega Sevilla Daily Star Argentine player, central midfield
7 Jack Butland Stoke The Sun, 101 Great Goals Liverpool also after this keeper
8 Karim Benzema Real Mad EPR Scouts, Football Transfer Tavern, Diario Gol, Deal agreed £35m.  No €60 million,
9 Emre Can Liverpool Fourth Official Liverpool won’t give him an extension
10 Jasper Cillessen Barcelona Mundo Deportivo, Daily Cannon A keeper.
11 Doucoured Watford Football London Play next to Ramsey to bring “much needed brawn and steel to a weak midfield.”
12 Ousmane Dembele Barcelona (joined from Dortmund for £96m) Express, Don Balon, Arsenal News, Gunnersphere, Telefoot Swap deal with Bellerin even though we don’t need any more forwards and he is injury prone, but is a friend of Aub’s. Says he’s not moving
13 Kerem Demirbay Hoffenheim TalkSport. Liga Financial, Star, AFC Fever Midfielder, AFC price agreed, Liverpool want him. Price agreed
14 Leander Dendoncker Anderlecht Fourth Official Defensive midfield, creative midfield…
15 Abdoulaye Doucoure Watford Hertfordshire Mercury Goalkeeper.  Watford want to keep him. Tots want him
16 Johnny Evans WBA Daily Mirror, Football London He’s the key man we need. £3m from WBA if they go down
17 Nabil Fekir Olympique Lyonnais Mail Arsenal’s number 1 target; attacking midfield
 Update Emil Forsberg RB Leipzig Sportwitness and Calcio Mercato.  £47m. A replacement for Alexis Sanchez.  He’s going to be the first signing
19 Fred Shakhtar Gibfootballshow Arsenal to get him for £30m
20 Willem Geubbels Lyon Football London 16 years old forward, Barce, Leipzig and Chelsea also want him
21 Alex Grimaldo Benfica Read Arsenal Left back. Man U, PSG & Monaco fancy him
NEW  Jose Gimenez Atletico Madrid Marca, TalkSport, SportsReview £53m but no sooner is it announced than we are set to miss out on him.  That hardly seems fair
23 Goncalo Guedes PSG Liga Financial PSG must sell because of FFP, Arsenal have announced interest
24 Kai Havertz Bayer Leverkusen Metro, Mail, Tribal Football AFC and Liverpool want him.  Midfielder; B,L’s youngest ever player
25 Dean Henderson Man U; Shrewsbury Mirror, Football London Wants to leave to get 1st team football.  He’s a keeper
26 Ahmed Hegazi West Brom Transfer Tavern Defender
27 Lorenzo Insigne. Napoli  Football fancast An attacker, aged 26, Italian international
28 Jakub Jankto Udinese Teamtalk It’s either Arsenal or AC Milan
29 Jorginho Napoli Hot Stepanovs Faster and smaller than Xhaka
30 Kalidou Koulibaly Napoli Daily Mirror, Gunnersphere, Guardian, Corriere Dello Sport, Tribal Football Centre back; top priority, Chelsea, Man C and Liverpool want him
31 Layvin Kurzawa PSG Sportsmole, the Week, To replace Bellerin
32 Alban Lafont Toulouse Arsenal Mania, Daily Canon Goalkeeper, Boyhood supporter of Arsenal.  “Set to leave”.  But he’s only 19.
33 Thomas Lemar Monaco ArsenalNewsHQ; Mirror; TalkSport. Star, Different League Deal confirmed; has rejected a new contract. All go!!!  Or he has “become available”
NEW Stephan Lichtsteiner Juventus Just about everywhere Right back, available free, he’s 34 and he will be the first signing.  “It’s done” (Football London)
35 Matthias De Ligt Ajax Football London, Mirror Centre back; Tots and Man C also want him.  Has handed in a transfer request
Update Bernd Leno Bayer Leverkusen Football London, Daily Express (they are certain), Bild A keeper available for just £22m.  The story has popped up again after a month of silence.He will be first signing.
37 Diogo Leite Porto A Bola (which is a Portuguese “outlet” not a virulent disease; Guardian Centre back
38 Joel Lopez Barcelona Sports Lens 21 year old left midfield
39 Lozano PSV Sport 360, Arsenal mania Winger who can cut inside
40 James Maddison Norwich Mirror, Sport Review, Birmingham Mail says it is about to happen Midfield playmaker; Tottenham, Everton, Brighton Southampton & Man C also want him
41 Harry Maguire Leicester Sky Sports Centre half.  Man U also want him.
42 Malcolm Bordeaux FootballBible, Sport Review, Gunnerspheree, Football London Winger; everyone is interested; he says he goes in the summer.  But might go to China.  No will play in a 3 man line behind the number 9.
43 Joao Mario Inter on loan at WHU Fourth Official Midfield, and said to love London
44 Lautaro Martinez  Racing Club de Avellaneda Gunnersphere Striker.  Inter have offered €20million
45 Anthony Martial Man U Sun, 4th Official Signed by United from AC Monaco in 2015, the £75.7m
46 Max Meyer Schalke 04. Football London, Daily Canon, Guardian, Talk Sport, Express.  Contract ends this season Attacking midfield or playmaker. Liverpool battling with Arsenal  New Santi Cazorla
NEW Radja Nainggolan Roma The Sun, Gunnersphere He’s a powerhouse midfielder and will cost £45m
48 Keylor Navas Real Madrid Don Ballon, HITC, A goalkeeper looking for work.  He’s 31
49 Robert Navarro Barcelona Daily Mail, Canon He’s 15 and plans to leave on his 16th birthday.  Arsenal have made an offer
50 Wilfred Ndidi Leicester Mad About PL, Goonertalk, African Football, Sun Midfielder, Man U want him too
51 Saul Niguez At Madrid Mirror, Arsenal Station £130m will get him.  Midfielder
52 Abulkadir Omur Trabzonspor Turkish football says Ozil recommends him Central midfield
53 Oguzhan Ozyakup Besiktas Mail.  Football London says Wenger obsessed the transfer Arsenal to bring back their ex-player at the end of his contract
54 Danilo Pereira Porto O Jogo Defensive midfield, currently injured
55 Pablo Moreno Barcelona Mundo Deportivo He’s 15 and his contract runs out at the end of the season
Update Jan Oblak Atletico Mad FootballBible; Gibfootballshow, Star Goalkeeper also wanted by Chelsea and Liverpool.  100m euros.  At Mad “expect him to leave”
57 Panagiotis Retsos Bayer Leverkusen Goal, 4th official Greek South African defender
58 Ivan Rakitic Barcelona Star Attacking midfield
Update Sokratis Papastathopoulos Borussia Dortmund Birmingham Live, Gazzetta dello Sport, Football London, Evening Standard, Read Arsenal Man U, Junventus, Chelsea interested in 29 year old defender.  Arsenal now favourites.  He’s going to be 1st signing.  Final details being arranged
60 Richarlison Watford EPL Scouts, 4th Official Forward, Chels & Tots also; Arsenal miss out & Arsenal to hijack deal, both on same site!!!
61 Daniele Rugani Juventus Whoscored Defender.  Agent confirms
62 Jean-Michael Seri Nice Mentioned on  From the Mirror and Metro, Star, Mail, Standard, Hard Tackle Midfielder but Arsenal have been too slow and Chelsea have got him, just as they lost out last window.
63 Andre Silva Milan Mad about EPL Attacking midfield “sensation” but failed to show his attributes this year.  Wolverhampton also interested.
64 Chris Smalling Man U Daily Canon, Sport 360, Daily Star, Guardian £25m will get him
Update Caglar Soyuncu Freiburg Football Whispers, Arsenal Station, Sky Sports, Telegraph.  Price about £35m Central midfield.  Liverpool, Man C, Dortmund “in race”.  He wants a guarantee of 1st team footie. He’s going to be the first signing
66 Anderson Talisca Benfica on loan to Besiktas O Jogo Brazilian attacking midfield
NEW Lucas Torreira Sampdoria TuttoMercatoWeb A defensive midfielder and he’s going to be first
67 Cengiz Ünder Roma Tuttomercato; he’s a goalscoring winger £26m offered £40m demanded
68 Josha Vagnoman Hamburg ESPN (2nd youngster player in the German league ever) Arsenal, Chelsea, Everton all want him
70 Timo Werner Leipzig Arsenal mania, Sun 21 year old who has scored a multitude of goals
71 Ben Wilmot Stevenage Sportsmole, Gunnersphere. The 72 18 year old played a dozen or so games.  Totts also interested. Price is £2m
72 Wilfried Zaha Crystal Palace Liga Financial Arsenal making a bid of £25m
73 Cristian Zapata Milan Giants Football News Defender
74 Piotr Zielinski Napoli The Mirror Midfielder: “An essential signing”
 75 Andrija Zivkovic Benfica Football Facts, The Record, EatSleepSportArsenalStation, Telegraph, Giants, Tribal Football, Sport Witness 21 year old striker. Man U also want him  Price is £52m

And now… Javi Garcia.

Now this is trickery because he is not a player at all but PSG’s goalkeeping coach.  This story splashed around the highly reliable Sun (!!!) says Arsenal are almost there.   This is called a game changing signing by the Daily Canon.


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3 Replies to “The 75 players (yes really, 75) we are buying with at least 3 NOW (or so I’m told)”

  1. So how many of them will be our “first signing” then? I counted six lol. And they have the gall to call themselves “journalists”!

  2. OT
    now that Zizou has quit Madrid are we gonna finally see Le Prof as the los blancos gaffer.

  3. Let Prof would have more sense than to touch them with a barge pole.
    Be fun if they poached Poch though ?

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