Arsenal in crisis as the media even struggle to find make believe stories! Is this the end?

By Sir Hardly Anyone

A certain football journalist — for such men, I regret to say, do exist — has made the remark that my last column contained ‘all the same football transfer rumours stories but just with different players’ names inserted’.  I have asked the secret police to do him over (once they have stopped protecting Lord Trump of Trumpington in Scotland) but if he survives that one he will not be able to make a similar comment about today’s column.  For today with my superior wit and intelligence, in this report we have all the same old football rumours but with the same player names.  Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy. 

For imagine, if you will, what it must be like to be a fantasist (official name, “journalist”) covering Arsenal.    £70m expenditure was announced as the pot of money available, and it’s all been spent.  But there are still a few weeks to go before the buying spree is officially over as the Premier League agreed to end the summer window on the Thursday before the start of the season – rather than August 31 as before.  

So what to talk about?

Selling, which can go on to the end of the month, is a possibility, and several sites have opted to talk about selling a goalkeeper – Ospina seems more than likely to go, Cech could drop down to being the Cup keeper and Leno becomes the league keeper.  Cech and Martinez were the keepers for the Boreham Wood game so that still seems the likely outcome.

And they can give us reasons for transfers not happening. For here is what we have…

1: The release clause went up.   This unlikely scenario in the midst of a transfer window was cited with Cristian Pavon of Boca Juniors according to AS.  Do they really re-write contracts with a player during the transfer window?

2: We are not going to tell you what’s going on.   This was the case when Football London ran the headline “Emery delivers shock transfer message, star rejects Man United for Arsenal”.  There was no confirmation what that meant or who it was about . 

3: The double speculation.   As with  “FC Barcelona youngster confirms exit amid Arsenal transfer talk” in which The Sport Review told us that Joel Lopez had confirmed that he will be leaving FC Barcelona this summer amid talk of a move to Arsenal.  He might stay or leave.  It might be Arsenal or someone else.

4:  The demand that isn’t.   “How many?! Unai Emery makes surprising captains demand” turned up in various guises – this particular one came from Arsenal Mania.   What the manager was saying that he wanted a leader (a “captain” he called them) in each part of the team.  It was just chatter.  

5:  The everyday becomes a story.  As with “Laurent Koscielny issues another promising injury update to Arsenal supporters”  That was Football.London at it again.  Yep he’s recovering.  We know he won’t be playing, but he is recovering.  Jolly good.

6: “Arsenal man could head to Boca Juniors for £6m” which really takes us back to the start.  David Ospina could be going to Boca Juniors this summer, “according to reports”.  That’s in Sport Review.  It pops up all the time.

7: They are stealing our administrators.  “Milan want Arsenal CEO as new President”.  Read Arsenal gave up with the players and suggested Ivan Gazidis was being sought.

8: Not even a rumour: “Swoop on £18m-rated attacker would give their cutting edge back to Arsenal” and we are big in the fantasy land of The Transfer Tavern which takes us to a new level, in that it wasn’t even a rumour, but rather one of their own ideas.  “Pavon the incisive winger Arsenal really need at this stage” was the headline, and watching the opening jog about against Boreham Wood I am not sure Arsenal really need anyone.  Yes The Wood are not Manchester City, but I still not sure “really need” is right.

9:  If in doubt use the old standby: tell us who we didnt get.    “Premier League rivals beat Arsenal to capture of £26.5m midfielder.”  This is Gunnersphere reporting that we were just far too slow in trying to get Seri.  There is chatter about our “long-term interest in OGC Nice’s Ivory Coast international”.   And because we were sloppy he went to Fulham.  Who are of course always our rivals in transfers.

10: Or write some total drivel.  4th official tells us of  “3 Replacements For Portuguese Ace On Atletico Madrid Radar At Arsenal Including This German”…    They start from an “analysis” that says “The team currently lacks a feasible option in the attacking department and one can only classify Alex Iwobi as the outright winger in the squad. That is certainly astonishing to see that a club of Arsenal’s calibre doesn’t have many options down the wide region and signing a winger can be termed as a topmost priority for the club.”   

And from that fantasy they go on to say “Gelson Martins has been a target for Arsenal in the recent times, however, latest reports are suggesting that the player can make his way to Atletico Madrid and Portuguese media is saying that the deal has been confirmed. The deal is said to be worth €15m and also involves two Atletico Madrid youngsters going the other way and joining the Portuguese outfit Sporting CP, the players being Luciano Vietto and André Moreira.”

If one considers this in relation to the fact that Arsenal have forward line options of Mkhitaryan, Lacazette, Auba, Reine-Adelaide, Nketiah, Perez, Ozil that is certainly a claim and a half to make.  But why stop making things up?  It’s easier than research.

More anon I’m sure.



11 Replies to “Arsenal in crisis as the media even struggle to find make believe stories! Is this the end?”

  1. Truly as a Gooner am numb and shocked by our transfer window so far….it seems as to say Arsenal was OK last season just a midfielder was missing…Lucas Torreira! Because he is the only significant addition we have…If Sokratis is injured or sick or out of form it means we have the same defence of old…why not bring in one more defender (Caglar Soyuncu or Koulibaly)..
    I still feel Lucas Torreira still needs someone like Nzonzi to partner him or to provide cover for him in case we playing a team liie United with big players in the mid…
    Our strikers really need help from the flanks…we all saw that last season we did not replace Sanchez and we need an aggressive and strong player like him…Garreth Bale, I suggest…coz he can bring inspiration to our young squad and shivers to opposition. We lost on Mahrez to City, what of Malcom and Pavon?? Or a Douglas Costa? Just one more galactico and we ok…we not asking much…
    I also feel we can release some players too….and loan some youngsters to develop for sometime….given most of our players are ageing….Sokratis, Litchsteiner, Monreal, Koscielny, Mikhitharyan, Ozil and Aubermeyang…are all getting closer to their twilight….they are left with a season or 2 in them hence we need our youngsters to be hardened and gain experience at the moment….

  2. Manyex that is one way of looking at matters. Another is to acknowledge that the owners said £70m was the top amount that could be spent. Another is to acknowledge that only Manchester City can win the league and so we need to have two squads: one to play in the league and one in the Cups. Another is to reecognise that Arsenal had home form last season that was on a par with their league winning seasons, and thus what is needed is players to bolster the away form – players who won’t play in each match but will try to get draws out of away games we lost last season.

    There are many other such scenarios that are possible in the thinking of this close season.

  3. Hi Tony, please can you direct me to a link where I can find the speech where the arsenal owner says there’s only £70m tops to spend?

  4. No sorry I can’t. We’re working on media reports, which are of course always subject to reality checks. And of course the fact that Arsenal’s expenditure has reached just about £70m. It might be a coincidence of course, but I suspect not, as I have said in a few articles.

  5. Ivan Gaszidis wanted by AC Milan or is it by Milan? Which one of them will not happen. Except he has lost control at Arsenal but as things stand now at Arsenal, Ivan Gazidis has appeared to have gained more confidence in Stan Korenke than ever as he runs the club and the Arsenal board the way he which Korenke wants it run especial on the financial side of things where Arsenal don’t get indebted for signing players as other PL clubs do. But do sign the players they want within their means. I think it’s that confidence Korenke has in him that gave him the boldness to called off the bluffing of Monsieur Arsene Wenger, the former long serving Arsenal manager culminating to his been forced out fr9m the club with a year to run on his deal at theg club. How can a Gazidis then that is having much powers now at Arsenal than before and earning a comfortable income at the club summarily leave Arsenal?

  6. 11. Arsenal toy with idea that the chef honcho hug all the players before games.
    Seeing how the Croatian president had inspired her country to such dizzy heights !

    Or we could always hire her if ever the Croats want to get rid of her. Then again , why would they ? Just look at her and then at your own leader, and then weep !

    Bawl !!!!

  7. Regarding transfer rumours, there seem to be less of them this summer- I’m referring to the papers and maybe sky, not obscure blogs that no one reads.

    This may be down the fact that arsenal have done all or nearly all of their business early for a change..

    I don’t know whether these new players will work out or not, but it’s a relief not to go through the sort of dithering and last minute bargain chasing of recent years.

    On the transfer budget, I like would like to see arsenal spend more of course- the club could and should – but that won’t happen as long as it’s owned by kroenke.

    Despite all this, I’m looking forward to next season. Emery’s honeymoon period will be short though.

  8. At Tony, if you don’t have evidence of this 70m figure, how come you’ve been singing it over and over in articles, especially considering the fact that you’ve spent a decade trying to convince us that the media are liars with a sinister agenda against arsenal. I’m beginning to suspect you’re running with this 70m rumors because it suits your own agenda

  9. Casmir – It was continuously stated by the media that Arsenal only had £50m to spend, Gazidis then came out and said that he will add/allow an extra £20m to the budget. Considering we have spent almost exactly £70m and Emery has said that we’ll only go after another player if a big opportunity presents itself, it’s hardly farfetched to say that perhaps there was some substance to this story, is it?

  10. @jammy, why are you so fast to jump in support of Tony? The last time someone said Tony used phoney stats to back mustafi, you quickly jumped in and denied Tony said such, until evidence was posted of the said article. Now you’re at it again.
    Someone challenges Tony to show evidence linking £70m transfer kitty which he has continually shoved down our throats with any statement made by the club. Instead of simply accepting that this is a story only found in the blogettas and media untold claims to have proven beyond doubt to be peddlers of cooked up stories. You are still trying to defend the indefensible by using more stories from The same discredited media. Worse still you add your own “gazidis then came out and said he will add 20m…” When did he say that? Where? To whom? Even the link you posted did not make that claim. “Emery has said that we’ll only go after another player if a big opportunity presents itself…” Please when did he say that, where, to who?

  11. How about you do your own research rather than asking everyone else to do it for you. I’m certainly not going to look for anymore, considering you will just flippantly write them off as with the last two, and then even go as far as to use those sources as something to criticize me with. The very fact that we have spent almost exactly £70m and Emery stating that we are no longer actively looking for players pretty much certifies that that £70m figure was correct. How you can possibly still try to argue against that is just plain laughable. Arguing for argument sake, pathetic.

    It’s only a rumoured transfer budget for Christ sake, get that chip off of your shoulder you miserable thing.

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