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Arsenal v Tottenham; it isn’t when they think it is. Confusing times all round.

By Bulldog Drummond

OK let’s start with the easy question.   Like

What time does it start?

Quite why the Independent chose to put that as a question rather than just writing “Kick off:” followed by the time as people used to do is beyond me.   But that’s what you have to do these days, under the rather stupid headline “Everything you need to know” as if the newspaper writer has a clue what the reader really needs to know.

I mean I need to know if my mates are going, if we are meeting at the usual place, and given that the time of matches keeps on changing, what time we are meeting there.  And none of that is included in the report, which immediately makes it a bit of a letdown.

But anyway, “what time does it start?” is a question that as it happens, is handy to know what with all the times being changed at the drop of a fiver.   But the answer, “Arsenal vs Tottenham kicks off at 2:05pm (BST)” is daft to the point of daftness, because “BST” stands for “British Summer Time” and if you happen to be in Britain and you happen to look outside you know that this cannot possibly be Summer Time – at least not in any conventional meaning.

British Summer Time actually runs – strange as this may seem – during the summer.  This year it ran from March 31 to October 27, after which the United Kingdom went back to its winter time, generally known as Greenwich Mean Time (GMT).   So does the game kick off at 2.05 GMT?    The general consensus is yes.

And this is the problem with the “All you need to know” statements.  When you get the answers wrong this certainly is not all you need to know.  And mostly the questions are not the right questions either.

So having got that sorted let us move on, because according to the Sun Piers Morgan says he has ‘more chance of becoming pope than a tiny tot has of winning the Champions League

These are indeed difficult times for the Catholic Church with countless abuse claims leading to an awareness among some that young people are safer being raised by any sect, secret coven or quasi religion, or indeed a couple of humanists… in fact almost anyone other than the Catholic Church.  Outright condemnations and proclamations of an eternity in hell seem a little lacking on this one – but then I’m not religious and I’ve never quite understood the unique rules that allow religions to act as they do in England while the rest of us have to obey the laws of the land and pay our taxes.   I suppose that is what we get for having given members of the Church of England seats in the upper house as of right.

So my limited understanding of Catholic affairs is that by and large to become a pope one has to be a major player in the Catholic church for quite a long time and be a cardinal, and I don’t think P Morgan Esq is either.

However Tottenham are competing in the Champions League and so could win it simply by winning some games: that is unlikely but possible.  So I think PM is wrong.  He has less chance of becoming pope than Tottenham have of winning the Champs League.  Perhaps not much less, but definitely less.

But let us consider this in more detail…

6 comments to Arsenal v Tottenham; it isn’t when they think it is. Confusing times all round.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    How about BST being interpreted as British Standard Time?

    Notwithstanding whether Tottenham Hotspur are on a long winning run in all competitions or not, Arsenal who are currently on a longer winning run in all competitions than they are will beat them they the Totts tomorrow at the Ems in the PL Irrespective of the level of game the Totts will play in the match. Be it of a high standard, medium kind or of low quality, Arsenal beating them in the NLD big game is a guaranteed foregone outcome result in the match despite that the Gunners are likely to play 11 against 13 in the match.

    Nevertheless, but for Arsenal to claim the guaranteed match win outcome result in the match that is guaranteed them, the Gunners must first activate their antidote of anti-Pgmo Arsenal match referring and flagging in the PL which neutralises the Pgmo match officiating officials in their anti-Arsenal match referring doing in the PL. The nullification of the Pgmo’s anti-Arsenal match referring in the PL has become compulsorily for Arsenal to do on Sunday in their home match against Tottenham if Arsenal are to win the match that Mike Dean, a staunch to the core anti-Arsenal match referee in the PL will be the centre referee. And as usually the case with the Pgmo, one of the 2 appointed match referee assistants for the match could turnout to be a anti-Arsenal linesman in the game who will raise the flag during the match to deny Arsenal goals scoring opportunities or nullify the ones they’ve scored against Spurs during the match.

    Therefore, as a nullifier to the Pgmo’s match officiating officials who will officiate in the match, Arsenal MUST play a superior game in the match that’s far superior to the game the Totts will have on offer in the match to play against them which will force Mike Dean and one of his match assistants to concur with Arsenal superiority in the game and allow the Gunners the victory they are billed to earn in the match.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    How about BST being interpreted as British Standard Time?

    Notwithstanding whether Tottenham Hotspur are on a long winning run in all competitions or not, Arsenal who are currently on a longer winning run in all competitions than they are will beat them they the Totts tomorrow at the Ems in the PL Irrespective of the level game the Totts will play in the match. Be it of a high standard, medium kind or of low quality, Arsenal beating them in the NLD big game is a guaranteed foregone outcome result in the match despite that the Gunners are likely to play 11 against 13 in the match.

    Nevertheless, but for Arsenal to claim the guaranteed match win outcome result in the match that is guaranteed them, the Gunners must first activate their antidote of anti-Pgmo Arsenal match referring and flagging in the PL which neutralises the Pgmo match officiating officials in their anti-Arsenal match referring doing in the PL. The nullification of the Pgmo’s anti-Arsenal match referring in the PL has become compulsorily for Arsenal to do on Sunday in their home match against Tottenham if Arsenal are to win the match that Mike Dean, a staunch to the core anti-Arsenal match referee in the PL will be the centre referee. And as usually the case with the Pgmo, one of the 2 appointed match referee assistants for the match could turnout to be a anti-Arsenal linesman in the game who will raise the flag during the match to deny Arsenal goals scoring opportunities or nullify the goals scored by them against the Spuds during the match.

    Therefore, as a nullifier to the Pgmo’s match officiating officials who will officiate in the match, Arsenal MUST play a superior game in the match that’s far superior to the game the Totts will have on offer in the match to play against them which will force Mike Dean and one of his match assistants to concur with Arsenal superiority in the game and allow the Gunners the victory they are billed to earn in the match.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    Bournemouth switching off in their game in the 2nd half as Man City step up in their game and Begovic carelessness in spilling the ball allowed Sterling the chance to score for Man City which gives them a 2-1 lead in the game. Can Bournemouth come back in the match again to at least force City to a draw game? I hope they will. But they have to be disciplined throughout the remaining time of the match and bury their chance when they create it.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    Man City have made it 3-1 10 minutes left in the game. Match over for Bournemouth? It’s now 84 minutes on clock.

  • Mikey

    Morgan is slime

  • Gord

    I like Mikey’s reply to four of SAA’s.

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