The Top 5 most likely transfers for Arsenal that you are not supposed to know about

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Now we are all used to wild and weird transfer rumours popping up and turning out to be completely untrue, but then there is something else.  For the Daily Excess today published an article on the five players Arsenal are most likely to sign.

Nothing odd about that, of course, but then one of the news accumulator services, having put it up then deleted it.  Maybe there is something there that we are not supposed to know!  In which case it is clearly a situation for Untold Arsenal.

So in the interest of spilling the beans, or failing that having a good laugh at the Express for getting it all so very very wrong, here’s the list (in case you are not a reader of the Excess of course).

1: Denis Suarez

He is Spanish, he plays for Barcelona in central midfield, and they don’t seem to want him any more.  There is talk of a loan deal with the fee being arranged in the summer because Arsenal are so short of money until they sell someone.  That of course is a matter for the owner.

And here’s the extra bit, Suarez played under Emery at Sevilla.  He’s 25 years old.

He has played 69  times for Barcelona and scored eight goals.  He was earlier with Manchester City but didn’t get any games.

2: Malcolm (although spelled without the second “l” by the Express)

He is also at Barcelona and was linked to us in the past – he is a winger.  He played 84 times for Bordeaux and scored 20, but has only played five times for Barcelona.  He’s 21 years old.

3: Jack Grealish 

An Aston Villa player who signed a new five-year contract in September which seems to make it all a bit unlikely.  He is 23, and apart from a loan spell at Notts County he has only been at Villa playing 131 games and scoring 11 goals.

4: Ousmane Dembele 

Yet another Barcelona man who is trying to get out of the clutches of the club.   He’s a mate of Pierre-Emerick Aubaemyang and he is French so could chat to Laurent Koscielny, Matteo Guendouzi and Alexandre Lacazette.

He is 21, in his second season at Barcelona and previously played for Borussia Dortmund.  He’s had 46 games for Barce and scored 14.

5: Isco 

A Real Madrid player who has had trouble winning over the fans so we are told.  And he’s a playmaker.  At 26 he is the old man of the group, and has played 260 games for Real Mad scoring 45 goals.

So there we are – just in case you missed it. We shall of course look with interest come the end of the month to see how many if any actually got through the net and did sign.  I wouldn’t put any money on it though.

7 Replies to “The Top 5 most likely transfers for Arsenal that you are not supposed to know about”

  1. OT: Women drawn against Crawley Wasps in FA Cup

    I don’t live in the UK, never visited there and no reason to know where things are. Crawley is 18 miles north of Brighton and Hove. That airport that had drone (multicopter) problems a week or so ago is there.

    Crawley is apparently very happy to have the women Gunners come to visit.

  2. There is one possible rumour, not on the list, Dacoure of Watford, not on the list.

    A tall athletic midfielder to contrast with the short Terrier — could be a good combo?

  3. World Football is picking up the headline from somewhere else: “Better to be naughty than nice, Pochettino urges Spurs”

    The spuds are at the opt in terms of inflicting treatments on other teams, they are near the top of how long the opposition needs to be short handed to treat those injuries, and I think they are tied for the top in terms of how many times the opposition has needed to substitute a player because a Spud went through.

    That headline completely agrees with what I have seen, and is completely at odds with what the PGMO, EPL and FA are supposed to require.

    And Pochettttttino KNOWS that he is being allowed to get away with things, and takes advantage of that as often as he/Spurs can.

  4. I see little sign of Liverpool playing dirty in losing to Wolves, but The (sweet) FA restricts distribution of broadcast right to those channels it can trust to present the truth, as The (sweet) FA knows it.

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