By Sir Hardly Anyone
We often report that 3% of all transfer rumours end up being correct – but this number would be far lower than this were it not for the fact that we include rumours that suddenly emerge en masse just a few days before an actual signing. One such event looks like being Saliba who is said to be about to make a move by numerous “outlets” (or “drainpipes” if you prefer a more accurate description). Indeed he may have signed by the time you read this, as this report is being written some hours before publication.
So if we were to take the last minute excitement stories out of the reckoning then the number of signings correctly predicted would be less than one in 100.
The story that I think no one called in advance is that Freddie Ljungberg will become Arsenal’s new assistant first-team coach, while Steve Bould takes charge of the under-23 team.
This is not unknown territory for Steve Bould; he ran the academy before being promoted to assistant manager in 2012. He will now work with the under 23s and under 18s, alongside Per Mertesacker.
So, as I say, no one spotted that. What they have spotted are 54 players we are trying to sign (according to the sites) but almost certainly will not.
Mind you, the window is not yet open.
In what follows “Foot Lond” means Football London – the Daily Mirror’s endlessly repetitive site that publishes 40 Arsenal stories a day. The names added to the table for the first time have the word “NEW” next to them. Just to make it easy.
Part 1: The Players coming to Arsenal this summer
No | Player | Current club | Source | Notes |
1 | Toby Alderweireld | Tottenham H | TBR Football, Sun | He’s 30 years old |
2 | Joachim Anderson | Sampdoria | Calciomeracto and Tuttosport | £37m for him and Praet. Anderson is a centre back. |
NEW | Angelino | PSV | But Man City want him back- he was with their youth team | He’s a left back |
4 | Antony | Sao Paulo | Media Ref (they say it would be a waste of money) | Ajax, PSV Eindhoven, Lyon and Monaco are also interested |
5 | Gareth Bale | Real Madrid | She wore a yellow | 87% of RM fans want him out |
6 | Eric Bailly | Man U | Transfer Market | £27m, for 25 year old centre back |
7 | Ismael Bennacer | Empoli | HITC, Pain in the Arsenal | Ex Arsenal youth player |
8 | Jerome Boateng | Bayern | Foot Lond, Talk Sport | “He’s played his last game for us” |
9 | Marcelo Brozociv | Inter Milan | Transfer Tavern citing CalcioMercato | £40.5m; a “tough midfielder” |
NEW | Yannick Carrasco | Dalian Yifang (China) | Sport, Sport Witness and elsewhere in Spanish press. Sun says it is 1/10 he will sign. TeamTalk however say we have missed out on him | Winger aged 25 |
11 | Samuel Chukwueze | Villareal | Foot Lond | Nigerian forward |
12 | Alexis Claude-Maurice | Lorient | Arsenal have made a £6m bid. FootLond, Sun | France under 20 forward and friend of Guendouzi |
13 | Djene Dakonam | Getafe | Daily Express | Central defender / RB. Will cost £13.5m |
14 | En-Nesyri | Leganes | Fox Sports Asia, HITC. Borussia Dortmund and Schalke also want him | He will be the first signing and will cost £10m |
15 | Bruno Fernandes | Sporting | O Jogo, Sport Witness | Chelsea, Man C, Juventus want him, £100m release clause |
16 | James Forest | Celtic | Media Referee | We should sell Iwobi and get him. |
17 | Ryan Fraser | Bournemouth | Express, Mirror | One year left on contract |
18 | Jean Philippee Gbamain | Mainz | Read Arsenal; Soccer Souls | On his way |
19 | Ander Herrera | Man U | Express | PSG also interested |
NEW | Presnel Kimpembe | PSG | Foot Lond, Soccer Link | He’s a centre half |
21 | Isco | Real Mad | Transfer Market. | Attacking midfield. Price is £54m |
22 | Danny Loader | Reading | FootballLeagueWorld | Chelsea want the 18 year old striker. |
23 | Marcos Llorente | Real Mad | Transfer Market, HITC | 24 year old defensive midfield. £13.5m |
24 | Malcolm | Barcelona | Sport Witness, FootLond | Totts, Milan, Inter and Lille also after him |
25 | Ruslan Malinovskyi | Genk | Daily Canon | Ukraine Midfielder |
26 | Kostas Manolas | Roma | FootLond | He’s a centre back |
27 | Thomas Meunier | PSG right back | TBR Football, Arsenal Station, Mail, Sports Review | Arsenal fans don’t want him (TBR) |
28 | Gabrielle Martinelli | Ituano | Metro according to reports in Brazil, also Express | 17 year old winger, equivalent of Son Heung-min FootLond |
29 | Harry Maguire | Leicester | HITC | 26 year old centre back |
30 | Paul Mitchell | Leipzig | Sports Mole; 90 min, Football 365, Sky; Talksport | Man U and Chelsea interested |
NEW | Neymar | PSG | Foot Lond go bonkers with “Excited Arsenal fans react as Neymar is linked with PSG exit” | |
32 | N’Zonzi | Roma | HITC | £19m; he’s considered a flop at Roma where he plays midfield |
33 | David Neres | Everton | Telegraph, Foot Lond | £34.5m; talks held. Liverpool want him |
34 | Christopher Nkunku | PSG | Foot Lond, Le Parisien, Star | Midfield; he’s turned down a contract renewal. We tried in Jan |
35 | Thomas Partey | Atletico Madrid | Talk Sport | Midfield with a £43.5m release clause |
36 | Nicolas Pepe | Lille | 101 Great Goals, Telefoot, FootLond | Star striker. Man U also interested. “He’s on the way” (FL) |
37 | Ayoze Perez | Newcastle | Mad about EPL | Inter also want him; forward or attacking midfield |
38 | Ivan Perisic | Inter Milan | Spursweb, Gazzetta dello sport | Tots and WHU interested |
39 | Dennis Praet | Sampdoria | Corriere dello Sport , Sport Witness, Calciomeracto and Tuttosport | Midfielder or winger; package deal with Anderson |
40 | Benito Raman | Fortna Dusseldorf | Express | WHU, Burnley, Everton interested |
41 | Ismaila Sarr | Stade Rennais | Metro | He will cost over £40m. A 21 year old winger |
Update | William Saliba | Saint Etienne | Le 10 sport says he’s off to Man U. Shoot, Sport Witness and Metro say Arsenal. Mirror and its “outlet” Foot Lond says it is a done deal. Read Arsenal say terms agreed | Centre back. L’Equipe says he has signed a 5 year deal |
NEW | Matt Targett | Southampton | Sun, Teamtalk | Liverpool also want this left back. |
44 | Nicolas Tagliafico | Ajax | Mirror – “he’s a target for Arsenal” | £17.3million release clause and he gets half! |
NEW | Kieran Tierney | Celtic | Foot Lon tell is he is a left footed full back | |
NEW | Leandro Trossard |
Genk | €20m according to Inside Futbol | He’s a winger |
NEW | Saliba | Saint Etienne | Metro, Foot Lond, Sport Witness, Taste of Football and Sun all have Arsenal having reached agreement to take him. | Defender whom St E want to loan to Arsenal. He’s 18 years old. |
NEW | Dorukhan Tokoz | Beşiktaş | He’s 23 | |
49 | Samuel Umtiti | Barcelona | Foot Lond running just about the most unlikely story of them all. | The most expensive centre back in the world! |
50 | Upamecano | Leipzig | Daily Express – who say we will sign him and Anderson! | Central defender |
Update | Jordon Veretout | Fiorentina | Metro. Player says he is moving “to a big club” | 25m euros for Ramsey II |
52 | Wesley | Club Brugges | Sun, Calciomercato, Daily Cannon, LaLazio | Forward, 22 years old |
53 | Wilfried Zaha | Crystal Palace | Sun, FootLond | Palace want £80m; plays right wing |
54 | Hakim Ziyech | Ajax | Foot Lond | Attacking midfielder |
Part 2: The Players Leaving
You have saliva in twice.
Saliba not saliva.
We dont need stories, we need really business. Who is going to come in and who is going out?
I agree we don’t need stories – but the only way I can think of to make this point is through making fun of the stupidity of those who spend their summers concocting these stories.
sucks to be platini
I know – why dont we swap everyone for the Spud squad then come out disguised as each other yet play in the same stadium. To all these outlets /drainpipes this would of course make perfect sense.
But hey it would be irresponsible of me to make these facts known to an unsuspecting public damn! Did I just write this and get it published ?
Oops
@jigsol – saliva -;) slip of th tongue 🙂
I like these updates it shows us all how futile following the press during the balmy summer months can be. Keep up the good work.
Arsenal haven’t been linked to M’bappe this must be an oversight surely.