Arry says stuff you won’t believe, except, oh, hang on, it was said by Arry, so we don’t

By Tony Attwood

I was so enthused last night I went to bed extra late, couldn’t get to sleep, and then woke up late (thank goodness, not getting a full night’s sleep is not good when you get to a Certain Age – as we Veterans call it) and have hardly got time to write anything.

But here’s a few snips from Arry B. Envelope, manager of the Very Tiny Totts.  They are all taken from Sky’s very brief interview with him last night after the game.  And how strange, the national media don’t seem to be quoting them much.  But then when your middle name is “Brown” you get that.

“I had so many players who had not played at this level before, and Sandro had cramp so there were three or four of them who were going to struggle in extra time but we just didn’t want extra time and that first penalty did it for us.”


“The young players can learn more here than they do in reserve games… The first penalty wasn’t a penalty it was a dive.”


There was also a bit of commentary by Sky about this being Arsenal’s reserve team, but they got that wrong.  Our reserve team is what you see on the pitch in EPL and Champs League games, match after match because all the big boys are injured.   What you saw last night was a little bit of the first team, a bit of the reserves, and then some newcomers like Lansbury, who I thought really did his stuff, considering how new he is to all this.  It showed that the quality we saw at the end of last season was really a sign of what is to come.

So what else did we discover?   Here’s ten pointers.

1: Nasri can talk absolutely perfect English.  OK the accent is French, of course it is, but the grammar, vocabulary and pure construction of his language is perfection.  Upon retirement he will set up a series of language schools to help players who were born in the UK

2: Jack has a little way to go on this front, but with a display like that, who cares?

3: No one outside of Untold’s wonderful commentators who read every word of our post-match report seemed to want to talk about the fact that the Totts committed 23 fouls last night.  (Figure from the Guardian this morning).

4: We had almost three times as many shots on target as they did.

5: The last time we did this must have been when Liam Brady scored that goal from eight miles out on the left which bent inwards in the last microsecond, and then he turned to the Shelf  and trotted along in that ungainly way that he had with his arms out stretched looking at the Tott supporters who were frothing at the mouth.   We won 5-1 that time, and it was a great moment to be at the dirty end of the Seven Sisters.

6: Arry B. Envelope really just can’t take it, but he’ll always be the TV favourite, even after the court case, of which of course I have no prior knowledge and would never like to suggest there was anything in the brown envelope.

7: Glen Hoddle has mellowed a bit, but Ian Wright is as changeable as the wind.

8: There is no point 8.

9: Gloating is a perfectly good and normal reaction, and should be indulged in without any feelings that maybe there is a commandment somewhere that says you shouldn’t.

10: Jack is the greatest home grown talent we have ever had.

Untold’s build up

36 Replies to “Arry says stuff you won’t believe, except, oh, hang on, it was said by Arry, so we don’t”

  1. If I ever have seen a sour face on my sons pc it was the fac of Arry just before the second half of extra time kicked off. I thought he was going to burst out in tears.
    That was a nice image. I liked it.

    And yes I think arry is right about the first penalty. The not giving penalty on lansbury was not a penalty. More on that later.

  2. Walter: nasri may have gone down easily enough but there was a clear tug of the shirt and by the rules that is a foul and a yellow if memory serves. It was in the box so that made it a penalty. It could be argued that maybe it was a soft penalty but certainly no softer than the one awarded Ryan Babel in the CL qtr final after we had all but seled the game via Walcott’s brilliance.
    I was glad to see that only a yellow was given as a red would have been too severe and in fairness against the spirit of the game which whilst containing alot of fouls was not what u might call a dirty game.

    On a happy note to those Spurs fans who maintain we played a much stronger team than they did:

    Yes our team was stronger but only in terms of skill, ability and effort.

    this is the team that didn’t play last night:


    Sagna Squillaci Vermaelen Clichy

    Song Cesc Diaby

    Walcott RVP Bentner

    Yes Clichy came on for about 15 minutes but that was only because of Gibbs’ injury.

    If we had started our game with the above side SKY pundits would have been saying that we played our full first team.

    I believe that the argument that some retarded pundits make about us not having a squad as strong as others has been put to bed for the forseeable future.

    We have the strongest squad in England.

  3. There is a point 8 Tony. 8)Schadenfreud is not a sin…especially when one is seeing all those lovely blue seats!

  4. I was watching the game with a Tots-man, and I must say that is the best way when we put on a performance like yesterday. He was (as they for some very strange reason always are) very confident of an easy win at WHL. After all, they are now in the CL and are to be considered as major contenders to both the EPL and the CL. His words again. LOL.

    I’ve got a good feeling about the lads this season, but then I tend to have that, it is after all The Arsenal.

    Enjoy your day, West Brom next.

  5. I do not see how anyone can dispute that penalty. Bassong had a hold of Nasri’ shirt when he was one on one with the GK. Ofcourse that slowed him down and prevented him from getting the ball under control as he wished. If he doesn’t go down the ref doesn’t give it.

    It was a blatant foul and by rights Bassong should have been sent off.

  6. @Terence McGovern September 22nd, 2010 at 10:05 am

    We played 13 during the first 100 odd minutes. Your 11 plus 13 plus Ramsey minus Lansbury gives us a squad of 24 players who are comfortable playing EPL football. If we don’t win the EPL it will not be because we don’t have enough depth.

  7. Or how about this for point 8:

    A figure of eight
    A figure of eight
    Round and round
    Never straight
    To the point
    I’m trying to make
    My mind’s only working in a figure of eight

    (with thanks to SQ)

    And the sun is out (the thing in the sky I mean not the paper) live is so much more beautiful after a win at WHL.

  8. OPtions for 8

    Crying Spurs midget a chip off the old Spud….?

    Whats a penalty more, or less?

    You’re not a Wizard Harry, just a self deluded, misguided little wheeler dealer, and remember no-one likes a Snitch!

    Oh and a Carling Cup has three handles…. how apt.

    4-1! YES

  9. Was it just me or did it feel like we were playin at the emirates ystrday?? The Arsenal fans’ noise was far greater than of the spurs…or was it that more than half of the spurs fans started cheering for Arsenal once they saw our brilliance in the first half?? 🙂

  10. Walter…

    As they say great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.=)

    Take your 8 and knock it over, so it lies on it’s side. I think you’ll find it looks infinitely better!!

  11. Yes the away fans were utterly wonderful. And I would say on behalf of the home fans, the noise is rising at the Ems too. I am growing in the conviction that very few of the Anti-Arsenal brigade actually go to watch Arsenal.

  12. Funny that – ‘onest ‘arry usually blames his own players when his team loses!

    Anything to deflect the scrutiny eh!?

  13. hi guys couldn’t argree more, by the way Tony, I’ve been waiting for your injury comparison of the Top 6 clubs after the wkn’s games, have I missed it or is it still a work in progress?

  14. Yes the first Penalty was a soft one, but if the assistant ref got it right Gibbs would have put the game to rest way before extra time was needed. so to the spuds who blame Nasri think about that first!!

  15. I have it on good authority that Arry is starting up an internet rival to TWITTER, he is going to call it TWITCHER. People who TWITCH him will apparently be known as TWATS.

  16. I love the away support. They have always been great but yesterday, it was Massive.. Loved it..

    Tony, the home support is rising but it is nowhere near the level of the away support. Hope the home support gets to that level. Then the Ems would really be THE FORTRESS.

  17. The Injury analysis is a weekly project, and it normally goes up on the monday after the weekend’s game. The last one is here But if you miss it, or indeed anything on Untold, there is a rolling index at

    For each match that we cover the various articles (and there are often four or five, sometimes even more) are grouped together starting usually a day or two before a game, and the index remains on the home page until the next round starts for the next game.

    On the home page there are also some subject indexes – these are not complete because of the time it takes to do them but can help.


  18. After a great performance at shite lane I certainly hope that we get some good news on Gibbs. Personally I think he was one of the best players on the field and has a great future ahead of him. Lets hope he has not broken his foot.
    ‘Arry made a fool of himself with his post match comments and to say that Nasri dived is a joke. I loved it as the Spurs fans poured out of the stadium and the Arsenal fans were singing, “is there a fire drill” that was brilliant.
    Finally, Stoke have proven Wenger right once again with yet another brutal tackle on a player which Hughes has openly condemned. I wonder if Tony Pulis will now complain to the FA about his comments?

  19. Stoke have said that there was no malice only enthusiasm in the tackle so it that makes it perfectly alright.

    Goalkeepers shoulderblocked at set pieces costing goals from Blackburn and now a leg most likely broken by A Stoke RFC player.
    I wonder how Mark Hughes feels about Arsene Wenger’s fotball opinions now hmnn?

  20. Another comment that I would like to add is that Koscielny is turning out to be the buy of the season for Wegner. He is getting better and stronger with every game he plays and I am convinced he will be a future Arsenal great! It’s funny how the doom and gloomers from other blogs called him a shit player and another shit Wenger buy, simply because they had not heard of him, what ignorance.

  21. And in his first games Koscielny looked a bit nervous but now he has settled down and his build up play is also looking good. His defending is excellent.

    I occasionally post on ANTI-WENGER sites, trying to deffend but it has resently become unhealthy. …I know im welcum here. Thanx 2 u guys i also feel the north London rivarly too. I have 2 admit that non-arsenal fans here know nothing or little about it.

  23. Well I guess that Vela being banned for 6 months from the Mexico team is good news for Arsenal….

    Also good news Sky Sports have confirmed that Gibbs has not broken his foot and will only be out short term.

  24. What I like about Koscielny is that he is only interested in defending. Nothing fancy . Not rweally interested in getting forward even on set pieces. During a corner for us last night you could see him trotting back to hold the defensive line.
    Just what we need. add that to the fact that he is a beast that keeps on getting up no matter how hard he is hit and we have a potentially awesome purchase on our hands.
    It should be noted that Squillaci also looks like the real deal. his positioning is great and never seems to come under pressure as a result.

  25. Thought this was brilliant a sp*rs fan on the guardian site last night e-mailing in.
    112 min “Why’s Wenger playing a ‘first team’?” says Alistair Hopkins. “I thought he blooded the up and coming in this competition.”

    LOL: you were supposed to give us a chance ? maybe we wanted to make a DVD of our own.

  26. I notice that most Spur’s fans are saying that Arsenal played a much more experienced side against a 3rd eleven Spurs side at the Lane last night.

    If I recall,weren’t Gooners saying the same thing 2 seasons ago when ,also at the Lane,a very strong Spurs team beat an inexperienced Arsenal side 5-1. So, honours even I suppose. Except of course Spurs were thrashed at WHL,so 1 up to the Gooners I reckon

    Can anyone recall the sides that the Totties and Arsenal played on that occasion. Just out of curiosity you understand


  27. Koscielny was excellent in this game-and Djorou improved as the game went on. Denilson did well also (hear that haters?). Although he otherwise had a good game one thing that still worries me about Eboue is how he defends long diagonal balls over his head- or rather he doesn’t defend them at all-evidenced by a free header for Bentley late in the game. I have to say that Gibbs seems to have improved in that respect-and the job he and the rest of the team did on Lennon was very good. Wilshere is one of the best 18 year olds I have seen in an Arsenal shirt .

  28. For the moment …….the Carling Cup has been transformed into
    the Near Darling Cup by the Arsenal Squad.

    Just expecting to see a clash vs ManU in the coming matches.

  29. I can’t help but ignore the fact that in seasons past when Mr Wenger has played his ‘younger’ side in the Carling Cup he has been berated in the press and by other managers for not duly respecting the competition. Over the last 1 or 2 years it has become more apparent that other managers are opting for tactic also. This season however, it seems all managers from Premier League sides are blooding their respective youngsters in the CC, with a spattering of first team players. Is this yet another achievement to add to the list of “How Arsene Wenger has changed English Football”….?

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