by Tony Attwood
OK we’ve never done this before (as far as I remember, although as we have published over 11,000 articles I may well have forgotten and as I write this I am taking the first sip of Australian red while planning to spend the evening in, so that will not enhance my memory one jot), but Tottenham H are playing Everton, and I thought it might be a bit of fun to do a preview along the lines that we usually do Arsenal games. But without the bias. Or at least not much bias. Well, no, ok with bias.
Now we can best do this through the last ten games – which of course gives me an excuse to run the last 10 games league table once again. And if you feel we are only doing this to show Arsenal in a good light, I would point out this is the sort of thing we have been doing for much of the season. But no, we did that earlier so click here.
Now as I understand it the game takes place in the Unsponsored Stadium (unless I have misunderstood and the stadium is sponsored by White Hart Lane station). So if you live in Enfield or Liverpool Street, its a doddle. And if you don’t like this last 10 malarky you can see all of Tottenham’s trophies here.
Now the last 10 games table is provided because it shows the current form, which we’ve found is a much more reliable predictor of results than most other bits of tabling or maths.
So here is Tottenham at home in the last ten games and Everton away.
| Team / venue | Played | W | D | L | F | A | Pts |
| Tottenham Hotspur home | 10 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 16 | 15 | 16 |
| Everton away | 10 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 6 | 21 | 2 |
Quite simply this is a no contest. Tottenham have won half their games at home and Everton have won none of their games away from home.
But then I wondered, what would happen if either side were playing Arsenal either at Arsenal stadium or at the other lot’s ground.
| Team / venue | Played | W | D | L | F | A | Pts |
| Arsenal home | 10 | 7 | 2 | 1 | 18 | 7 | 23 |
| Arsenal away | 10 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 19 | 12 | 19 |
So now I come to look at it, Arsenal at home is outplaying Tottenham at home by seven points and Arsenal away is outplaying Everton away by a massive 17 points. Which I think is rather jolly. Actually Arsenal away is outplaying Tottenham at home too).
Of course, this home and away lark, and just selecting the last 10 is all a bit artificial (although I find it very informative) and what really counts is the league table from the start – including (you might recall) our worst start since Julius Ceaser invaded the south of England.
As you may know, two legions of Roman soldiers crossed the English Channel and landed in Kent a wild extremity of the mighty English empire consisting of well, Kent.
Caesar wanted to land at Dover, but lots of Celts were waiting there so they changed the plan. The Celts followed the Romans to their landing place and a battle took place on the beach.
In terms of Arsenal, we lost the first three games and by the time the teams had reached three games (three games mark you not the ten we tend to talk about here) celebrations and wild parties were unrestrained in Essex. Hertfordshire was pretty wild too, and it took the police several months to restore law and whatnot.
Here’s what got them so excited.
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tottenham Hotspur | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 9 |
| 2 | West Ham United | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 5 | 7 |
| 3 | Manchester United | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 7 |
| 4 | Chelsea | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 7 |
| 5 | Liverpool | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 7 |
| 6 | Everton | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 4 | 7 |
| 7 | Manchester City | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 10 | 1 | 9 | 6 |
| 8 | Brighton and Hove Albion | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 6 |
| 9 | Leicester City | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 5 | -1 | 6 |
| 10 | Brentford | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 5 |
| 11 | Aston Villa | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 4 |
| 12 | Watford | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 5 | -2 | 3 |
| 13 | Southampton | 3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 6 | -2 | 2 |
| 14 | Crystal Palace | 3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 5 | -3 | 2 |
| 15 | Leeds United | 3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 8 | -4 | 2 |
| 16 | Burnley | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 | -3 | 1 |
| 17 | Newcastle United | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 8 | -4 | 1 |
| 18 | Wolverhampton Wanderers | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 0 |
| 19 | Norwich City | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 10 | -9 | 0 |
| 20 | Arsenal | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 9 | -9 | 0 |
But sadly for the totties the world changes and life moves on… for now we have…
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | Pts | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Manchester City | 28 | 22 | 3 | 3 | 68 | 18 | 50 | 69 |
| 2 | Liverpool | 27 | 19 | 6 | 2 | 71 | 20 | 51 | 63 |
| 3 | Chelsea | 26 | 15 | 8 | 3 | 53 | 18 | 35 | 53 |
| 4 | Arsenal | 25 | 15 | 3 | 7 | 41 | 29 | 12 | 48 |
| 5 | Manchester United | 28 | 13 | 8 | 7 | 45 | 38 | 7 | 47 |
| 6 | West Ham United | 28 | 13 | 6 | 9 | 46 | 35 | 11 | 45 |
| 7 | Tottenham Hotspur | 25 | 13 | 3 | 9 | 35 | 32 | 3 | 42 |
I am sure that can’t be right – we are six points ahead of them having been nine points behind. How could Tottenham have let that happen?
I’d be glad of answers. Meanwhile, I shall watch the affair on TV. Come on you… (What colour are Everton?)
Oddly enough I as a Spurs supporter enjoyed that very much🙏🏻
Maybe it is time for you to finish above us for the first time since Piers Morgan had a steady job…! You still have to come to our unnamed rather flashy stadium though so it might not be over yet🤷🏼♂️
You’re doing well tonight!
As you said a non contest. Everton are a very poor team and this game is goingexactly according to the form book.
Danespur
“Maybe it is time for you to finish above us for the first time since Piers Morgan had a steady job”
That may well be the case, but you see the thing is, whilst you’ve been doing better than us somehow we’ve still managed to win more than you. In fact, during those 6 years of us being crap and you being great we’ve still won more than you have over the last 31 years.
Maybe with a record like that sarcasm isn’t your smartest move.
Danespur
The Bedpan has been named.
And I clicked the link to Tottenham’s trophys. Perhaps you should, it won’t take long.
Just a bit of fun as you’re having with us. Cheers.
@Danespur,
say what you want, Tony called it. Facts. Facts. Facts. And you enjoyed facts. Good !