Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
By Sir Hardly Anyone Oh. So apparently Schneiderlin Day was set up just I could make a fool of myself in predicting the said fella would turn up at Arsenal. Well! Of course you know the way the bloggettas get around this – they predict everyone is on offer to Arsenal and the say we …
By Tony Attwood, in gloating mood. Let me start by taking you back, and for once, not right the way back to 25 July 2008 when I first pointed out that Coquelin had the potential to play for Arsenal. Not that one again. I’ve done that. I mean, I know I said it and it …
Read More “This could be a player we’ll love and love again.”
By Sir Hardley Anyone DONE DEAL: Arsenal COMPLETE Transfer of 6ft POWERHOUSE Striker Actually no, that isn’t the done deal of the day. That is just a contradiction of yesterday’s story that said that Podolski was determined to stay at Arsenal and fight for his place. Arsenal, going into the summer transfer window are keen …
Read More “If all the spoofs say it’s a DONE DEAL that must mean it’s a DONE DEAL”
By Sir Hardley Anyone, Dept of the Weird, University of Certain Things at Enfield. What a strange day – all the weird and wonderful piling up at once. Of course some of these stories broke yesterday and some the day before but it feels like they are all swimming around in a sea of football …
Read More “All the weird and wonderful stories are piling up at once.”
By Tony Attwood. I have been waiting for the “Cech spotted at airport” story to emerge, but it seems no, no one is going to oblige. So instead we have Adrian Durham in the Mail. Now Adrian Durham is a special sort of man. He knows. In fact he knows everything. He is, in short …
By Tony Attwood Starting with Petr Čech of course the big question is which musical instrument does he play? And the answer is percussion. which should indeed give us confidence. The potential arrival of a new goalkeeper (which may well have been confirmed by the time you read this or alternatively been proven to be complete …
Read More “What do we really know about Čech? And about Arsenal keepers.”
By Tony Attwood This is a story of stories. Several stories in fact. Stories covering tax fraud, the lavish giving away of public money and the misleading of the public. All in the name of money, or fraud, or maybe just carelessness. Sometimes it is impossible to say. Indeed I suspect, if you were to …
. By Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, head of psychiatry and odd behaviour at the University College Hospital of the North Circular Road. . It is like a drug I suppose. You know it makes no sense at all, clowns to the left of me jokers to the right… . But still everyone has to …
Read More “Confirmed Arsenal complete 2 shock moves and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx I don’t usually like to talk about the most important positions on the field for a team as I think that you can only win when all 11 players are performing well enough. But the attacking midfielder certainly is one of those positions that can decided if your attack can score enough goals. …
Read More “Those attacking midfielders. What next for Arsenal?”
Nat Whilk- Clerk. Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time 1: Who had the biggest Willie? a) Willie Old b) Wee Willie Winky c) Willie Carson d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young was playing …
Read More “It’s saturday night and time for another Untold Quiz (or not as the case may be)”
by Andrew Crawshaw The senior squad for all Premier League teams is 25 players aged 21 or more of whom at least 8 have to be ‘home grown’. The age limit is calculated from the 1st of January in which the league season starts. My understanding of Home Grown means a player who, irrespective of …
By Tony Attwood I’m not always willing to admit when I get it wrong. Sometimes I prefer to hide under the sofa for a few months and hope no one notices. But today, well, today is different. If I have got this one wrong I shall be shocked, amazed, amused, annoyed and extremely happy, all …
Read More “Man C discover that Uefa’s FFP if not dead at all but is still alive – and kicking”
By Iva Madeitup So here we are again, another day another load of spoof headlines. The last collection proved to be just about the most popular piece Untold has published this year, so here are eight more, all garnered today, 16 June. As The Who famously said, “Won’t get fooled again”. Arsenal News – …
Read More “Personal Terms Agreed For 28 Goals €30m Rated Arsenal Target and other spoofs”
By Walter Broeckx Having analysed the defensive midfielder I thought the next step would be the box to box midfielders. As they are called now. In my days these were just midfielders who run a lot, but that is the modern times for you. I put Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere in this category and …
Read More “The box to box midfielders: comparing Ramsey, Wilshere and the Ox”
By Tony Attwood In 1968, Sir Alf Ramsey described the West Ham player Martin Peters as “ten years ahead of his time”. It was a singularly odd phrase from a singularly odd man, and one that I suspect Peters came to hate, as every time he failed with a pass or a cross everyone repeated …
Read More “Football as a means of money laundering. Now there’s a blast from the past.”
By Nat Whilk-Clerk. 1: Which Arsenal player pulled his shorts down after scoring for and against in the same game? Willie Nelson Nelson Mandela Lord Nelson Sammy Nelson Darth Nelson. Ron Jerem 2: Carl André is a famous artist and a Arsenal fan. What is he famous for? a pile of bricks a pile of …
Read More “Thursday night is Arsenal quiz night. Well, some night has to be”
By Walter Broeckx Let us now have a look at the probably most mythical position on a football field: the defensive midfielder. For this I took the 3 players who have played in that position: Coquelin, Arteta and Flamini. Coquelin had the most match time from the 3 followed closely by Flamini and then the …
Read More “Arsenal player review: the mythical beast position”
By Tony Attwood So Jack has been fined £40,000 for shouting “What do you think of Tottenham?” and using the word “shit” in a public place. Which is the same amount as Suarez was fined for racism by the FA. It really makes me wonder about the FA’s scale of values. The Suarez incident occurred …
My apologies – the site is still playing up a little, and not publishing the articles with the right time stamp. Sorry for any oddity you might notice. Tony By Walter Broeckx Next in our series we will look at the central defenders. I will most of all focus on our two main …
Read More “Arsenal’s season in review: our three central defenders”
By Tony Attwood Leaving aside the infinite number of players who are linked, for whom Arsenal are on red alert or who have been seen driving round and round the M25 looking for a signpost saying Highbury, there are a fair number of players who could either breakthrough or make a return. Whether any of …
Read More “Which of these 11 players will make the breakthrough for Arsenal next season?”
We had a technical glitch this lunchtime – not an attack, just a server glitch – and although this article was published it then vanished and reappeared with the wrong date on it. So I’m publishing it again, in case you were not quite quick enough to catch it last time. Bloody Computers! Tony By …
Why do they treat us with such contempt? By Billy “the Dog” McGraw, senior consultant in social deprivation at the University Hospital of the North Circular Road. I would like to start by telling you exactly who the deal is done for, but unfortunately this is where things break down a bit. I mean, I …
Read More “Deal done and confirmed; medical to follow. Pictures!”
By Tony Attwood, with thanks to Nick the Gooner Maybe it is to hide the embarrassment of their total cock-up in failing to cover John Henry’s revelations about how he lied concerning the Suarez transfer, or maybe they think there is good readership to be had by knocking Arsenal day upon day, but whatever …
Read More “In the war on Arsenal, the Telegraph is not giving up.”
Tim Charlesworth Following the cup final there was a general consensus in the ‘commentatorsphere’ that Arsenal would challenge for the Premiership next season, but only if they bought ‘two or three high quality improvements. This started me thinking about who or what these reinforcements might be. So here is a view of Arsenal’s players and …
By Tony Attwood Carl Jenkinson came to Arsenal in 2011 from Charlton for about a £1m transfer fee. On 11 November 2012 he was given a new six year contract by Arsenal which was reported by the not-necessarily believable Daily Mirror to include a salary of £25,000 a week. He had played just eight …
Read More “What happens now to Carl Jenkinson could be a model for the future.”
