By Sir Hardly Anyone
It is a curious fact of life that you can wait all summer long for a defensive midfielder without one appearing and then two appear all at once. Even more curious is that Arsenal don’t need one since we currently have one of the very best DM’s in Europe.
But none of this has stopped Arsenal signing players, even though the transfer window is shuttered and bolted, and the key has long since been thrown away.
For our old chums of the blogetta world don’t ever jack it in just because the transfer aperture being rammed shut, oh dear me no. No no no no no. They are still out there ploughing away through their land of make believe.
Indeed the mere fact that through the summer months when the transfer casement was indeed ajar they still managed to get 99.9% of their DONE AND DUSTED transfers utterly wrong.
But are they embarrassed? Have they run away and shame? Are they now playing at being ostriches? Not one little bit of it. Not a sausage. Not a chance. For just look at what “By far the greatest team” (that’s a blogetta) is running.
And how do they know? You may well ask.
Meanwhile, always keen to imitate the little beings who live on the dark side of Pluto the Telegraph weighs in with Have Arsenal found perfect holding midfielder? and the answer as we all know is “yes” he is called Francis Coquelin.
But no, the Telegraph can’t be doing with that for they tell us, “Barcelona teenager Sergi Samper is interested in a move to Arsenal, as he continues to be on the fringes at the Catalan club.”
And where do they get this vital information from? Have they an ear to the ground? An insider in the camp? Well, actually no, because, as they confess (and full marks to them for confessing to their own silliness), “This is the claim of the Daily Mirror who cite reports in Spain to say that the young midfielder will welcome the opportunity of making a switch to the North London club, and that the Gunners are pondering activating his £8.5m release clause.”
So to be clear, reports – the source of which are not revealed – in Spain (wherein the infamous AS recently told us that Messi might not be going on trial from crimes against the state), were picked up by the Daily Mirror (whose idea of an in-depth news report is 50 words and a picture) and then reprinted in the Telegraph (famous for running a PGMO press release without bothering to check it first to see if it actually had any link with reality).
Amusingly the Telegraph now calls Wenger, “The French tactician” which I suppose means that next week when they try and look intellectual they will call him le tacticienne français just to show how jolly cosmopolitan they are and how the UK should not be in the EU what with these foreigners coming over here and impregnating our language.
According to the paper, Spain-based sports journalist Juan Arango said, “Should Samper sign for Arsenal, it would be a shameful thing of the part of Barça.”
Although on the other hand “Portugal midfielder William Carvalho reveals he has always had a soft spot for the Gunners.” Confusing isn’t it?
By Far The Greatest Team
Reports have claimed Arsenal are stepping up their chase for Celta Vigo striker Nolito.
The Gunners are firmly interested in bringing the Spaniard to London, as Arsene Wenger seeks to bolster his attack in the window. They may face competition from Barcelona to land his signature but Wenger is desperate to add him to Arsenal’s attack.
The 28-year-old is expected to leave Celta Vigo and the Emirates could be his next destination.
Please do not remember that you read any of this here first.
And now something true
- 12 October 1893: Arsenal beat London Caledonians in a friendly 10-3 with the Chairman of Woolwich Arsenal Jack Humble in the side.
- 12 October 1912: Arsenal 0 Chelsea 1 in front of 20,000. The result left Arsenal with only one win from the first eight, and the press report made particular mention of the jubilation of the visiting fans.