After receiving 7 million LIKES so far ( nb – each AKB’s LIKE is equal to a million!), for the first part of this Fantasy Football series, I’m suitably moved to present the next instalment of our sincere endeavours to clear the site, stadium, the Arsenal Universe and the world of those vermin, here goes…..
2. The Airborne Drones
-To nullify the stupidity of the massed ‘them’ by very high pitch sounds, which will stop them in their tracks. And which only ‘them’ and their ilk can hear. Sadly, we have not been able to reverse their stupidity. Hopefully our future Brainiac series will render ‘ them’ smarter. Brain washing first requires them to have one in the first place !
The downside is that many drones have been lost by accidents in the air, as well as being shot by Spud Bashers! Randy birds often try to have sex with them . Talk about joining ‘The Mile High Club’ ! At least one on them was reprogrammed and had eloped with a giant amorous Albatross !
Anyway what do you guys think of this latest AK AK AK AK model ?
3. The Gord Effect
This is an air spray that renders ‘them’ sane, gives clarity of vision and copious amounts of good cheer . Thereby rendering the whole stadium very positive and Looney Tune-ly happy. It is so named after the delusional and hermetic Canadian scientist who tried to prove that there were at least two Tundra snowflakes which were alike .
His use of Helium as an visual illusionary enhancer lead to this laughable …., sorry laudable, breakthrough.
There are some who believe that the clairvoyance he experienced was actually a form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) flashback. As almost everyone knows, he was a practising hippie who had ‘dabbled ‘ with some fine s*it and stuff back in the sixties. He was a member of an Inuit dog sled gang that made many dangerous and illegal runs smuggling Polar bear pelts , whale blubber and refrigerators, that makes the Millennium Falcon’s Kessel Run seem like a trip down to the drugstore!
This spray has another positive advantage, as it has a profound effect on the pigeons outside the stadium. They never crap on the statutes at the Ems (thus saving money on the cleaning bill!) , or on true Arsenal Fans. The save their ‘payload ‘ for people who boo , bitch and moan , as well as on away fans.
Stay close for further updates on future innovations .
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