The Brickfields Gunners Blog – Fantasy Football Series Part 2.



After receiving 7 million LIKES so far ( nb – each AKB’s  LIKE is equal to a million!), for the first part of this Fantasy Football series, I’m suitably moved to present the next instalment of our sincere endeavours  to clear the site, stadium, the Arsenal Universe and the world of those vermin, here goes…..

1. The Spud Bashers 
This should be  a very popular item during the annual  St. Totteringham’s Day!
It can also be used to skeet shoot those impractical commemorative plates, saucers and plaques that they have ill advisedly and erroneously already prepared to celebrate winning the EPL, or for second place!  Or third place. And as the cynic said, they already have all the mugs!  While Arsenal have all the cups!  WOO HOO , HOO !
What’s that ? The chickens are hatching ?

2. The Airborne Drones

-To nullify the stupidity of the massed ‘them’ by very high pitch sounds, which will stop them in their tracks.  And which only ‘them’  and their ilk can hear.  Sadly, we have not been able to reverse their stupidity.  Hopefully our future Brainiac series will render ‘ them’ smarter.  Brain washing first requires them to have one in the first place !

The downside is that many drones have  been  lost by accidents in the air, as well as being shot by Spud Bashers!  Randy birds often try to have sex with them . Talk about joining ‘The Mile High Club’ !  At least one on them was reprogrammed and had eloped with a giant  amorous Albatross !
Anyway what do you guys think of this  latest AK AK AK AK model ?

3. The Gord Effect

This is an air spray that renders ‘them’ sane, gives clarity  of vision and copious amounts of good cheer . Thereby rendering the whole stadium very positive and Looney Tune-ly happy. It is so named after the delusional and hermetic Canadian scientist who tried to prove that there were at least two Tundra snowflakes which were alike .

His use of Helium as an visual illusionary enhancer lead to this laughable …., sorry laudable, breakthrough.

There are some who believe that the clairvoyance he experienced was actually a form of  post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) flashback. As almost everyone knows, he was a practising hippie who had ‘dabbled ‘ with  some fine s*it and stuff back in the sixties. He was a member of an Inuit dog sled gang that made many dangerous and illegal runs smuggling  Polar bear pelts , whale blubber  and refrigerators,  that makes the Millennium Falcon’s Kessel Run seem like a trip down to the drugstore!


To his credit, he did organise the famed US- Canadian underground railroad  that saved many American conscientious objectors who were fleeing persecution for their  steadfast beliefs against the Vietnam War, as well as the repressive Republican policies of the time. Some of them have gone back home and are now war mongering politicians themselves.

This spray has another positive advantage, as it has a profound effect on the pigeons outside the stadium. They never crap on the statutes at the Ems (thus saving money on the cleaning bill!)  , or on true Arsenal Fans. The save their ‘payload ‘ for people who boo , bitch and moan , as well as on away fans.

Stay close for further updates on future innovations .

12 Replies to “The Brickfields Gunners Blog – Fantasy Football Series Part 2.”

  1. No pigeon would dare make a mess on one of the statues at the Arsenal Stadium. Flying creatures of discernment know perfectly well that the idea for statues came from a meeting between Arsenal History Society and Ivan Gazidis, and that the person who set up the notion of statues was… well, me.

    They would not dare!

  2. Love the link to Mars Attacks – one of my all time laugh out loud favourites!

    The Gord effect is brilliant – the Kessel Run a trip to the local drugstore!

  3. Brickfields, among other things I’ve been studying fractals lately. Which is why snowflakes are all different and the same.

    So maybe it is all Canadian Gords. 🙂

    Congratulations to the Ladies team, they have made the big time. They had a game rescheduled for TV reasons.

  4. Great comment Gord. Was going to say ‘up the L…’ Then realised it better saying Go on you Ladies!! 😉

  5. @ Tony Attwood -April 7, 2016 at 1:05 pm – Granted , and credit due for that great idea .
    But wait till when the times comes when there are hundreds of statues lining the stadium .
    May even get look a lot like those Terracotta Warriors of China .
    And wait till Nicky’s gran is forced to clean them !

  6. @ Andrew Crawshaw – April 7, 2016 at 1:47 pm – It still is one of my favourite outlandish comedy films of all time . Just couldn’t resist plugging it here .
    And felt that the Ack-Ack gun was famous enough , and naming it Akers after our Vic may not be a good idea !

    To me most of ‘them ‘ morons who come on here sound exactly like that ! I think I could come up with some fine music that would get their brains to explode !

  7. @ Gord – April 7, 2016 at 2:54 pm – A little tip on the collection of snowflakes – never use your tongue , and never heat them when fixing them on examination slides ! Otherwise, your work is good to .

    Hopefully the ladies play their games at a later time . Otherwise they may have to get up early to ‘work’ on preparation to look good for tv !

  8. Hilarious Bricks! More FF soon! The Spud Basher? Sound like something from Mike Strutter–the acki kacki gun! Lets hope them chickens aint a hatching…grrr.

  9. @ Kenneth Widmerpool – April 8, 2016 at 7:45 am – I’m reliably informed that come end of the season , the faithful of the Gunners will be either treated to a turkey shoot of our clucking neighbours , or a bluesy fox hunt !

    Unless of course my ole crystal ball is wrong !

  10. Another very fine article Brickfields, I really enjoyed it!

    I note that “them” or “them-uns” are suddenly quiet!

  11. bjt gooner……Don’t count your spuds before they hatch….less than a win tomorrow will see them flock here like constapated chickens looking to cross Holloway road.

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