by Sir Hardly Anyone (divorced)
They were talking about something being wrong at Chelsea on Sky before the games this afternoon and the chair (Geoff) asked what it (the situation at Chelsea) was about, and they all sat their shaking their heads. And that was before today’s match.
Oh dear.
Let me explain. The chairman is handling a divorce which could lose him half his fortune. The manager is clearly unhappy, possibly because he can’t talk about money enough to his chairman who is worried that if he funds anything that will make life easier for his wife. (I wonder if when he moved to England he realised that England is the divorce capital of the world for women; it is a fact that women pour into England from all over the EU in order to get divorced here. No other country has the English system for working out who should get what).
So the Chelsea manager might well have been having problems getting his chairman to sign off transfers all season and as a result the half a dozen transfers haven’t gone through. Ooops.
Big contrast then with Arsenal, where the only thing we had going wrong was the owner launching a TV channel specialising in films of the mindless shooting of elephants, tigers, lions, and other larger members of the animal kingdom.
Anyway, not to worry because Untold is launching a new TV channel “Hunting Kroenke” in which we shall be showing films of ten teams who compete to bag a live member of his family and shoot him or her in cold blood. At the end of each episode the winning killer is featured sitting under a tree with the dead Kroenke, smiling at the camera. (That’s the killer smiling at the camera, not the Kroenke).
(Can I just point out to members of the security forces this is satire, just in case you were going to waste public money prosecuting us? And besides I am a knight of the realm and thus immune.)
Let us move on rapidly to another factor: from 2008/9 onwards no one has retained the league. In fact each year since then at least one of the top three in one year has dropped out of the top three. In the past two years two of the top three have then dropped out of the top three.
| Season | First | Next year | Second | Next year | Third | Next year |
| 2008–09 | Manchester U | 2nd | Liverpool | Chelsea | 1st | |
| 2009–10 | Chelsea | 2nd | Manchester U | 1st | Arsenal | |
| 2010–11 | Manchester U | 2nd | Chelsea | Manchester C | 1st | |
| 2011–12 | Manchester C | 2nd | Manchester U | 1st | Arsenal | |
| 2012–13 | Manchester U | Manchester C | 1st | Chelsea | 3rd | |
| 2013–14 | Manchester C | 2nd | Liverpool | Chelsea | 1st | |
| 2014–15 | Chelsea | Manchester C | Arsenal | 2nd | ||
| 2015–16 | Leicester C | Arsenal | Tottenham H | 2nd | ||
| 2016–17 | Chelsea | Tottenham H | Manchester C |
It is rather amusing that there is this insistence among most pundits that this year will be the same as last year, and most of the time it isn’t. In none of these years never once has the top three of one year been the top three of next year, and today’s results have thus far shown this is likely to continue.
Anyway, in the spirit of the last post – that of the fact that football is a hobby, it is about having a laugh, having fun, amidst all the caring and worrying, here’s the league table
This table charts the Premier League teams
|
Pos
|
Club |
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F | A | GD |
Pts
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Huddersfield Town | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | +3 | 3 |
| 2 | Arsenal | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | +1 | 3 |
| 3 | Burnley | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | +1 | 3 |
| 4 | Everton | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | +1 | 3 |
| 5 | West Bromwich Albion | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | +1 | 3 |
| 6 | Liverpool | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 1 |
| 7 | Watford | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 1 |
| 8 | Southampton | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 9 | Swansea City | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 10 | Brighton and Hove Albion | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 11 | Manchester City | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 12 | Manchester United | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 13 | Newcastle United | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 14 | Tottenham Hotspur | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 15 | West Ham United | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 16 | Leicester City | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | -1 | 0 |
| 17 | Chelsea | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | -1 | 0 |
| 18 | Bournemouth | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 0 |
| 19 | Stoke City | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 0 |
| 20 | Crystal Palace | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | -3 | 0 |
But let’s let the media oddbods get on with their nonsense: the Telegraph has this headline at the moment: “Arsenal’s defensive horror-show aside, where is the midfield policeman?” Actually guys, when the defenders are in place then Xhaka does that job. But don’t worry about it.
The Guardian is calling our match “chaos” but they don’t have any sense of the fun. Sad that.
Anyway, adding to our recent review of Wembley and reflecting on Tottenham’s forthcoming season, Arsenal have now won nine games in a row at Wembley (three semi-finals, three finals, three Charity Shields). I wonder if Tottenham will be able to do that.
Last point, the Radio 5 commentator has just said, “The Burnley bench was stronger than Chelsea’s).
What fun.
What’s it like being a supporter?
Enjoy our hilarious Facebook series all gathered together on one page. Well, ok, its our Facebook series from UntoldArsenalToday
Today’s anniversaries
From the Arsenal History Society
Chelsea hardball sees them punished by Burnley fc.The tackles resulting to the red cards were career threatening, hence deserved.At least for now Arsenal funs can see a good start in relation to the previous 3 or so seasons.
How great is Mo Farah. His young son Hussein looks at the microphone and Mo asks him to say something and then prompts ‘Arsenal’. There is the great man – the super athlete a true gooner.
Looking forward to seeing him on the Asenal pitch with his family soon.
@Menace
Do you know what John Terry and Adolf Hitler have in common?
-Both of them slipped in Russia.
The Match of the Day pundits are tipping Man United or Man City to win the league. On what basis I have no idea. (Ian Wright chose City. It must be a condition of his employment not to choose Arsenal.)
I must admit I was pleased to see Rooney score for Everton. There’s something about seeing him going back to his old club and scoring straight away. Obviously I don’t want him to do the same when we play Everton.
I think we are actually third in the league after today’s matches.
By the way, nice one Josif.
@ Menace -12/08/2017 at 9:13 pm – I regularly do something similar at birthday cake cuttings . As everybody finishes singing the birthday song , a few shout ,”MAKE A WISH !” , and just as the birthday boy/gal is about to cut the cake and about to do so , I would shout ,”ARSENAL NUMBER ONE !”
Everyone would first look bewildered , then would shoot me me dirty looks .
Come on ! It sounds rather more logical and less ridiculous than say –
– “Peace on Earth !”
– Or “Goodwill to all men- irrespective or colour ,caste ,creed or club affiliations!”
– Or God bless President Donald Trump (or your own country’s beloved or beleaguered President or PM ).
FAKE NEWS – MIKE RILEY TO RESCIND CESC FABREGRAS RED CARD ?
In an unexpected turn of events , the boss of PIGMOB , is said to be livid with referee
Craig Pawson’s decision to red card Chelsea’s Cesc Fabregas following what was a second but well deserved yellow card.
MR50 is of the opinion that Pawson might have been rather too hasty in issuing the first yellow card for what the referee may have perceived (wrongly as it seems,) as a sarcastic slow hand clap.
Riley feels that this is a cultural SNAFU , as in Catalonia , the slow clapping is deemed a form of respect, homage and glorification. . He points out this is regarded as a form of adulation and hero-worship, or of admiration and respect; of lionizing, idolization, veneration, of awe , of honour and commendation.
He cites the recent example of the the Catalans in indulgent slow clapping whenever the images and highlights of their just departed (to PSG) hero Neymar is shown on the big screen before all their pre-season fixtures .
Arsenal fans worldwide are also excited and slow clapping this prospect of their former captain being available for Chelsea in the next game against the Spurs . And the possibility of Chelsea having the requisite number of players required as well as the probability of Chelsea not increasing their bid for Arsenal fan favourite the OX .
From The Brickfields Gunners Blog.
To help our regulars from any misunderstanding here is a lighthearted guide to cultural differences –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiR0qdt03PQ
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Reading the piece about Chelsea/Conte on the guardian website, I just think we are lucky with Arsenal’s organisation. Imagine the chaos if the same organisation prevailed. And looking at City, Pool or MU, I’m not sure at all their transfer season was that good.
@ colario – 13/08/2017 at 8:07 am – Thank you , Charles , and our breast wishes to you and may god shower his piss on to you too , always !
As for the kids , the Chelski loving little one is home for his semester break from medical school , and he quit watching after the third goal ! Even budding doctors often feel squeamish at the sight of blood and bloodletting ! And the first half was a massacre !
Even my kind and ‘encouraging’ words to the effect that just like after the Arsenal last season , maybe Conte will make new and brilliant tactical changes (5 at the back ?) and they might go on an unbeaten run , did not seem to pacify him .
I probably should not have been laughing hysterically when I said that ! My bad .