By Sir Hardly Anyone
Yes, here’s a new whizzo wheeze: take a look at the wild ravings of the bloggettas and newspapers, with their amazing 3 out of 100 rating in terms of prediction accuracy, give them a rating for each rumour, and then come back and see, were we right or were they or both or neither.
Off we go with Edition 1 of the Truth Rating game.
1: Olivier Giroud has said he was about to move to Everton when Alexandre Lacazette joined Arsenal but chose to stay.
We think he probably did say this but I think we all knew it.
Truth rating 10/10. Newsworthiness 0/10
2: Jack Wilshere may leave Arsenal in January, with an eye on earning a place in England’s World Cup squad by attaining regular playing time with a Premier League side. Some sites are so full of this they have even named the club he is going to: West Ham.
This of course is exactly the opposite of what he said in his last interview, and the fact that Mr Wenger has said it is important that he now stays fit and plays.
Truth rating 1/10. Newsworthiness 0/10
3: Arda Turan is wanted by Arsenal according to the Mirror. He’s not wanted by Barcelona and hasn’t been playing for them. He’s 30 years old, has a contract until 2020.
Truth rating: only a possibility if Santi Caz is definitely not coming back and at the moment we have no idea if that is true or not. And even then it’s just one name among many. 2/10 Newsworthiness 3/10 – we all know we’re waiting on Santi.
4: Mesut Ozil
Ozil’s advisers will attempt to renegotiate £250,000-a-week deal he rejected in the summer. ‘He wants to stay another 3 years’.
Truth rating: 7/10. It’s quite possible that he has decided to stay, and unless he’s decided to leave, of course they will renegotiate. Newsworthiness 2/10 – it is obvious.
But Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is unsure on whether to move for Arsenal and Germany star Mesut Ozil in the summer.
Truth rating 2/10. Unsure? Seems unlikely. Mourinho generally knows what he is after, and goes and gets it. Newsworthiness 0/10
“Man City confident of signing Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez in January” says the headline. Trouble with this is that Man City are always confident that they can have anyone and do anything. It’s just how their owners are. Doesn’t mean it will happen, just that they believe their own propaganda. Hence the truth score – of course they are confident.
Truth rating 10/10. Newsworthiness 0/10.
On the other hand “Alexis Sanchez transfer from Arsenal to Paris Saint-Germain is possible” is a much lower 2/10 for truth. PSG are still being investigated for their FFP situation, and their wages, and with Mbappe being officially transferred next summer instead of loaned using up that year’s FFP money, that will soak up another load of dosh.
Truth rating 1/10. Newsworthiness 0/10.
6: Another Arsenal defender could miss out of Saturday’s trip to Watford
Truth rating 0/10. Newsworthiness 0/10
7: Arsenal to sign Oguzhan Ozyakup
Two problems here. One is this is just a rehash of a story that ran in the summer, and the second is that Arsenal already have a rosta of 25 players so someone would have to go. That’s not impossible of course, but the fact is we have a fair array of midfield players available, and I am not clear who he would replace and also if he would choose to come back to Arsenal to be behind the current rosta of Xhaka, Ramsey, Elneny, Le Jeff, Maitland-Niles, Nelson, Coquelin…
Truth rating 2/10. Newsworthiness 1/10
8: Dean Henderson
He’s a Man U reject, he is a 20-year-old England youth international goalkeeper, he is out of contract in the summer..
No chance. Arsenal have a bucket load of keepers and are struggling to get them all in the 25 – and they have Martinez out on loan this year, looking ready to take over as number 2 keeper or maybe number 1 next year. It would mean shipping at least one keeper out of the squad – no chance.
Truth rating minus 120 / 10. Newsworthiness ditto.
9: Anthony Martial
Apparently he doesn’t want to come to Arsenal although Arsenal want him.
Truth rating 10/10 – he probably doesn’t want to come to Arsenal. Newsworthiness 0/10
10: Mexican winger Hirving Lozano to Arsenal from PSV for £20m in January.
Much harder to judge because this is a new one. Lozano only moved to PSV in June this year. He’s only 22 and Mr Wenger may have seen something in him that makes him interested. Mind you it is in the Sun and the Mail and their reputation is not of the highest in these affairs. They say Steve Rowley has made regular trips to Eindhoven to watch Lozano up close and has been impressed by what he’s seen – which presumably means he has watched each game this season.
I’ve no idea on this one, but it is interesting that Steve Rowley’s credentials are on the up again, with other stories about him being headhunted by Chelsea, after the Guardian said he was going to lose his job after the failure of transfers like Xhaka, Mustafi etc etc.
Lazano to Arsenal?
Truth rating 5/10. Newsworthiness 7/10.
We shall see.
- Alexis: good news and sad news, plus threats of imprisonment and TV madness.
- Watford v Arsenal: the return of the injured, and Alexis still south of the equator.
- If the home grown project is failing, has the Academy system has failed too?
Finally! Someone speaking sense online. I am sick to death of all the tripe online.
Tragic Magic Merson slurping Harry Redknapps rectum on League of their Own: “Tactically, he’s one of the best I’ve worked with. If Arsene Wenger had Harry Redknapp’s tactical nous, Arsenal would win the league.”
Currently Wenger is sitting on 3 Premier League titles and Harry is on zero. Oh, and he just got sacked from a Championship club.
ZING!
11. Unconfirmed and unsubstantiated rumours persists that an Arsenal minority English shareholder is about to ‘sweep’ up’ all available shares from the two foreign major shareholders after BREXIT ?
As being predicted by experts ,following Britain’s exit from the European Union, it will once again be able to proudly use the adjective(?) ‘Great’ as it becomes a truly major world power .
All physical British holdings will once again fall into local hands , as them bloody good for nothing, leeching , ‘nicking a living ‘ foreigners get their comeuppance and unceremoniously be shown the exit door.
In Arsenal ‘s case their major American and Russian shareholders , will have no choice but to sell out to a local. But by one of those ingenious but devious maneuvers that is rightly spelled out in ‘the fine print’ those shares can only be sold to an already existing shareholder at the time of the Brexit vote and its passage in Parliament.
We are at present not permitted to reveal names due to its sensitivity and also the possibility of revolt among the masses , but be sure that this WILL come to pass within 5 years .
Truth rating – 1/10 ( There may be shares changing hands soon .)
Newsworthiness – 7/10
( The fear that that moron becomes our owner ought to have many shitting their pants !)
Bullshit ratings- 10/10 – ( I have a reputation to uphold on UA !)
Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact, those dopes can kill you!
http://www.cse.cuhk.edu.hk/~cslui/JOKE/idiots.html