By Ima Counter, Professor of Numerological Sciences, University of UnCertain Things, Shetland.
The BBC has the Gabriel story: “Arsenal defender Gabriel has been ruled out for six to eight weeks, increasing the likelihood of a bid for Valencia centre-back Shkodran Mustafi.”
Meanwhile the Index of every player Arsenal has been linked with this summer sits tantalising at 98. So I need YOUR help. Yes Your Website Needs YOU! (Can’t think where I once saw that on a poster).
If you can find any players we have been linked to on a bloggetta or a proper website or in a newspaper please and who is not on the Index now is the time to say. If at all possible give
- Player’s name (rather obviously)
- Player’s current club
- Player’s position
- Source of information (name of site or newspaper)
Now onto the competition:
In our last outing I set the challenge of finding what WESTHAM stood for. I was then sacked for introducing a lottery without a licence, and reinstated after mass appeals by fans. I thank you.
So I am back, and I can now let you know the winner of the last round of the Great Arsenal Transfer Index Fun And Games (GATIFAG). It was
Who
Ever
Supports
Tottenham
Hotspur
Are
Moronic
which sits on the trophy board in the public bar of the Untold Empire alongside
Superior
Performances
Unfailingly
Renders
St. Totteringham’s Day
So this time I set another. Find me a set of words to go with the letters
C H E L S E A
Here’s my opening bid…
Cash Hopelessly Expended Less Someone Exterminates Abramovich
Finally, the glorious Index for this week…
- Total incoming players: 98
- Total leaving players: 22
Yes we really are only two players away from the magic target of 100 targets. The main question however remains this: the media have tipped 98 players as coming Arsenal’s way, and yet with 20 days to go before the window gently slides closed it seems unlikely that we will get anywhere near this number.
So how can we ever take journalists and their newspapers seriously again? The answer presumably is that we can’t.
As always, the newcomers and significant changes are in bold.
Part One: Players coming in. New entries and significant changes are in bold.
Player | Position | From | Current status | Also interested | ||
1 | Takuma Asano (浅野拓磨) | Forward | Sanfrecce Hiroshima | is 21 and has played 50 times | Signed | |
2 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | Forward | B. Dortmund | Being urged to leave | Man U | |
3 | Carlos Bacca | 49 goal striker | Milan | We’re hijacking the deal! | Arsenal seen off WHU | |
4 | Michy Batshuayi | Striker | Marseille | £22m asking price | Chelsea | |
5 | Riechedly Bazoer | Cen mid. | Ajax | Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham | ||
6 | Medhi Benatia | Centre back | Bayern | 29 years old prone to injury | ||
7 | Christian Benteke | Striker | Liverpool? | Only done one year at Liverpool? | ||
8 | Gabriel Barbosa | Santos | 54 goals in 148 appearances | |||
9 | Rodrigo Bentancur | Midfield | Boca Juniors | Real Mad, Juve | ||
10 | Karim Benzema | Striker | Real Mad | Involved in court case | ||
11 | Daley Blind | Defence | Man U | |||
12 | Sofiane Boufal | Forward | Lille | £25m after one year in France | Barcelona, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid | |
13 | Marcelo Brozovic | Box to box midfielder | Inter | Not quite sure why we need a box to box midfielder at this moment. | ||
14 | William Carvalho | Def mid | Sporting Lisbon | |||
15 | Edinson Cavani | Striker | PSG | He’d like to come | ||
16 | Ben Chilwell | Left-back | Leicester | “Arsenal monitoring” | ||
17 | Troy Deeney | Striker | Watford | WFC captain | ||
18 | Jason Denayer | Defender | Man C | £10m | ||
19 | Julian Draxler | Left wing | Wolfsburg who say he’s going nowhere | £43m offer made. No, £54m | Liverpool sniffing but that’s what they do | |
20 | Jonny Evans | Defender | Was Man U, now WBA | £15m offer made | ||
21 | Frederico Fernandez | Defender | Swansea | A double swoop from Swansea | ||
22 | Matthias Ginter | centre back | Borussia Dortmund | |||
23 | Mario Götze | Attack midfield | Bayern Munich | Flopped after Dortmund | Liverpool. Gone to BvB | |
24 | Goncalo Guedas | Wing | Benfica | Next C Ronaldo | Chelsea | |
25 | Raphaël Guerreiro | Left-back midfield | Lorient | |||
26 | Alen Halilovic. | Attack midfield | Barcelona | Last season loan to Sporting Gijon, | ||
27 | Marek Hamsik | Attack midfield | Napoli | His father is demanding more money | ||
28 | Rico Henry | Full back | Walsall | Next Ashley Cole | ||
29 | Gonzalo Higuain | Striker | Napoli | £79m but no offer made | Man U, Liverpool? Went to Juve | |
30 | Rob Holding | Winger | Bolton | £1.5m already signed | Has is signed or not??? | |
31 | Elseid Hysaj | Right back | Napoli | Staying at Napoli | ||
32 | Zlatan Ibrahimovic | Striker | PSG | Self proclaimed God | Went to Man U | |
33 | Mauro Icardi | Striker | Inter | £32m bid made deal very close | Wife says they need the money. Club says it wants €60 million. Arsenal offering ££££££ plus Giroud | |
34 | Odion Ighalo | Striker | Watford | |||
35 | Chiori Johnson | Defender | Aged 18, | Signed pro forms | ||
36 | Jorginho | “Strongest midfielder” | Napoli | Neil Banfield likes him | ||
37 | Stevan Jovetic | 2nd striker | Inter | 1st mooted two years ago | ||
38 | N’Golo Kante | Midfield | Leicester | Won the most tackles | Done Deal but not with AFC | |
39 | Naby Keita | Central mid | Red Bull Salzburg | |||
40 | Lukas Klostermann | Defender | Red Bull Leipzig | |||
41 | Toni Kroos | No 10 | Real Madrid | £45m | ||
42 | Grzegorz Krychowiak | Midfield destroyer | Sevilla | Another done deal elsewhere | ||
43 | Kalidou Koulibaly | centre back | Napoli | Signed and Sealed but… | Dependent on Chambers going. Arsenal at the front of the queue | |
44 | Alexandre Lacazette | Forward | Lyon – now injured | French League top scorer 2014.15 | Said he wanted to leave and come to AFC and then immediately got injured | |
45 | Robert Lewandowski | Striker | Bayern | About to break the bank | ||
46 | Ademola Lookman | Striker | Charlton | “Cant stop scoring” | 18 years old | |
47 | Jordon Lukaku | Left back | Oostende | Told Mr Wenger how to manage! | ||
48 | Romelu Lukaku | Striker | Everton | Broke Everton’s PL scoring record | Offer of £38m made | |
49 | Mario Mandzukic | Forward | Juventus | He has emerged as an option | ||
50 | Sadio Mane | Winger | Southampton | BBC say he’s gone to Liverpool | ||
51 | Kostas Manolas | Centre back | Roma | for £38m deal agreed? | Maybe to Chelsea | |
52 | Maycon | Midfield | Corinthians | new Ronaldo or Neymar or both. Or neither. | ||
53 | Marquinhos | Defender | PSG | His brother says AFC want him | Man U Man C Chelsea and Bayern Munich | |
54 | Riyad Mahrez | Wing | Leicester | £25m Considered him while at Le Havre | Has now agreed to join Arsenal according to reports from Algeria | |
55 | Kostas Mitroglou | Striker | Benfica | “Happy in Portugal” | ||
56 | Arkadiusz Milik | Striker | Ajax | |||
57 | Henrikh Mkhitaryan | Midfield | B Dortmund | Went to Man U | Liverpool! Chelsea, Tottenham | |
58 | Alvaro Morata | Striker | Juventus (loan) Real Mad | “About to happen” | Snubbing Chelsea for Arsenal. Really, really wants Arsenal. | |
59 | Jeison Murillo | Central defender | Inter | Columbian Talks have started | Bayern Munich and Zenit | |
60 | Shkodran Mustafi . | Defender | Valencia | Anything between £20m and £33m | Arsenal have made an offer. Now the firm favourite to be signed | |
61 | Ruben Neves | Defend midfield | Porto | |||
62 | Nolito | Striker | Celta Vigo | £13.8m buy out clause. Done deal elsewhere | ||
63 | Kelechi Nwakali | Midfield | Diamond Academy | Already joined for £3m | WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool? | |
64 | Gaston Pereiro | Midfield | PSV | Played 30 scored 12 this last season | ||
65 | Philipp Ochs | Midfield | Hoffenheim | 19 year old | ||
66 | Oguzhan Ozyakup | Midfield | Besiktas | In the 2009 AFC Youth Cup side | Won the Turkish league in 2016; will cost £16.8m | |
67 | Bruno Peres | Full back | Torino | £16.9m | ||
68 | Quincy Promes | Winger | Spartak Moscow | |||
69 | Domingos Quina | Midfield | Chelsea | |||
70 | Adrien Rabiot | Midfield | PSG | Asked for a move, not liked by fans | Chelsea, Man U | |
71 | Rafinha | RB | Bayern Munich | Metro utterly certain | ||
72 | Jese Rodriguez | Forward | Real Mad | Surplus to requirements | ||
73 | Ricardo Rodriguez | Left back | Wolfsburg | £20m | ||
74 | Maxi Romero | Forward | All Boys, Argentina | The new Messi | We were going to sign him last year but he got injured | |
75 | Daniele Rugani | Centre back | Juventus | Can’t get a game. | Man U, Everton, Napoli | |
76 | Erik Tobias Sandberg | Defender | Norwegian schoolboy | Under 17 | Man U | |
77 | Riccardo Saponara | Attack midfield | Empoli | Liverpool? | ||
78 | Ryan Sessegnon | Winger | Fulham | Liverpool? | ||
79 | Djibril Sidibé | Full back & midfield | Lille | Cover at full back | “Now gone to Monaco, Arsenal too slow” | |
80 | Moussa Sissoko | midfield | Newcastle | £35m | Sun now says “very likely” | |
81 | Islam Slimani | Striker | £23.25m Sporting Lisbon | £23.25m | Tottenham, Leicester | |
82 | Dominic Solanke | striker | Chelsea | Chelsea want to keep him | Arsenal preparing to steal him | |
83 | John Stones | CB | Everton | |||
84 | Daniel Sturridge | Striker | Liverpool? | “Will reportedly…” | “Tried last year” | |
85 | Neven Subotic | Defender | Borussia Dortmund | Has left training to talk to Arsenal | ||
86 | Yaya Toure | C Mid | Man City | |||
87 | Arda Turan | Attack midfield | Barcelona | 29, and wants to stay | Struggled at Barca. Telegraph celebrated fake coverage of transfer | |
88 | Robin van Persie | Forward | Fenerbache | “We’re waiting for buyers” | ||
89 | Jamie Vardy | Forward | Leicester | £20m | Signed but kept it a secret or he’s off to Liverpool. | |
90 | Thomas Vermaelen | Centre defence | Barcelona | He’s fit again. Barcelona seriously considering Arsenal’s offer. Gone to Roma | ||
91 | Victor Wanyama | Def. midf. | Southampton | Done deal elsewhere. | ||
92 | Julian Weigl | Midf. | Borussia Dortmund | £20 million | ||
93 | Ashley Williams | Defender | Swansea | But heading for Everton | To replace the voice left by Per. | |
94 | Granit Xhaka | Defend/ midfield | Monchengladbac | “Deal done” He signed. | Chelsea were rivals but failed. | |
95 | Andriy Yarmolenko | Winger | Dynamo Kiev | Tottenham Liverpool | ||
96 | Wissam Ben Yedder | Striker | Sevilla | “Could have joined Arsenal”: manager | WHAM, Totts, Leicester | |
97 | Simone Zaza | Forward | Juventus | |||
98 | Karl Zouma | Keeper | Chelsea | |||
Part Two Departures | ||||||
1 | Alexis | Forward | Juventus bids made | Asking for transfer | Agent trying to get move | |
2 | Arteta | End of career | ||||
3 | Bellerin | Full back | Barcelona | Now mulling over Man C deal | But also denied | |
4 | Joel Campbell | West Ham | But he wants to stay and fight for his place | |||
5 | Chambers | Centre back | Southampton or Watford? | 1 year loan? | ||
6 | Debuchy | Been on loan | ||||
7 | Mat Flamini | midfield | End of contract | The last Highbury player to leave AFC | ||
8 | Kieran Gibbs | Defend | Unhappy | WHU offer rejected | ||
9 | Olivier Giroud | Forward | Napoli | Part exchange | “We’ve never talked to Napoli” | |
10 | Isaac Hayden | Centre back | Newcastle | |||
11 | Laurent Koscielny | Defend | Bayern | Contract talks stalled? End of contract? | Not end of contract | |
12 | Per Mertesacker | Defend | Considering his future | But got injured in pre-season | ||
13 | David Ospina | Goal | Besiktas | |||
14 | Alex Oxlade-Chamberlaine | Attack midf. | Manchester City | Currently in the best form of his life | ||
15 | Rosicky | End of contract | ||||
16 | Santi Cazorla | Mid/For | Back to Villareal | |||
17 | Mesut Ozil | Midfield | Delayed talks | |||
18 | Jon Toral | Midfield | To Granada | |||
19 | W. Szczesny | Goal | Roma | Happy in Rome | Returning to AFC. No, staying as part of Manolas deal. No staying on loan | |
20 | Theo Walcott | Wing | State Aid Utd or Liverpool? | £20m | On the verge; or maybe not going | |
21 | Wellington Silva | Fluminense on four-year deal | ||||
22 | Jack Wilshere | Midfield | Man U | They will build the team around him | ||
Part Three: Coaching | ||||||
1 | Adam Birchall | Lead Development Phase coach | Works with under 16s | |||
2 | Thierry Henry | Under 18 | Left over TV issue | |||
3 | Tony Adams | Under 18 | 5 week trial | He left after a couple of weeks. | ||
4 | Arsene Wenger | Manager | In one year… | Will be replaced by … | ||
5 | Eddie Howe | Manager | In one year… | Replacing AW | ||
Part Four: Up from the youth | ||||||
1 | Krystian Bielik | Defender | Arsenal | Given no 37 | ||
2 | Stefan O’Conner | Defender | was with York | To Maastricht | ||
3 | Gedion Zelalem | Attack mid | Arsenal | Loaned to Rangers | ||
4 | Chris Willock | Attack midf. | Arsenal | Played in U21s. | Given no 59 | |
5 | Jeff Reine-Adélaïde | Wing | Arsenal | Moving into first team | ||
6 | Matt Macey | Goal | Arsenal | Moving into first team squad? | Allocated no 49 | |
5: Players going on loan | ||||||
1 | Dan Crowley | Midfield | Arsenal | Coventry | Actually gone to Oxford | |
2 | Julio Pleguezuelo | Defender | RCD Mallorca | |||
3 | Stefan O’Connor | MVV Maastricht, | Was at York City last season. | |||
6: Young Players leaving | ||||||
Ilias Chatzitheodoridis | U-18 no new contract | |||||
7: Players signing pro forms | ||||||
1 | Donyell Malen | |||||
2 | Tyrell Robinson | West Ham | ||||
3 | Joshua DaSilva |
————
Arsenal in the 1930s – the full story of 1930/2, Arsenal’s first league championship, has been told in a series of 22 episodes. Probably the most detailed analysis ever published.
- The First League Season, including a review of each player who played in that season
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The full index to all the series is on Arsenal History Society Web Site
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- The complete and absolute update on the ten deals Arsenal are currently juggling and why Chuba Akpom is boring
Commenting?
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Toral has not been sold, he’s on loan at Granada. Huddart has gone on loan.
I suppose I should be glad you like my idea of the competition and have taken it further. But I wont be glad until you have paid Brickfields is winnings of £1000 which he richly deserves.
Pay up Untold.
Pay up. Pay your debt.
ColarioI
“I suppose I should be glad you like my idea of the competition”
Brilliant idea. Absolute classic.
What would UA do without you and your mancrush?
Saw an article think it was transfer tavern which showed us interested in napoli’s striker insigne. So I make that 99. I will comeback when I find article.
Pundit arena saying we are interested in u19 striker ademola look man of charlton
101 great goals Wilfred bony
West Hams Sam Byrom will take you to 99
http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11670/10327927/arsenal-transfer-rumours-sam-byram-tops-the-whispers-charts
Richard
Re Insigne, you are correct….
http://www.101greatgoals.com/news/napolis-lorenzo-insignes-head-turned-arsenal-sport-italia/
Richard is correct on Ademola as well…..
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/football/531078/Arsenal-Transfer-News-Ademola-Lookman-Scouts-Gossip
Add in Philipp Ochs
https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/premierleague/1461828/arsenal-step-up-chase-for-philipp-ochs-gunners-scouts-want-arsene-wenger-to-sign-talented-winger/
And they keep on coming!
If we sign Bony or Evans we are finished as a big club.Many including our manager said we ceased being a big club when we sold Nasri and Fabregas.
How on earth have we let it get to this when we are one of the richest clubs in Europe?Who is in charge of our scouting,negotiating and our transfers?Eventually the likes of Ozil and Sanchez are going to get fed up of seeing us penny-pinching and bargain basement shopping and leave for a club with ambition .Can anyone at all on untold honestly say we are an ambitious club anymore?Honestly?
Ima, good effort but my database links us to 185 and counting… this does involve searching the very bottom of the internets and reaches as far afield as Pakistan and Peruvian media sources! None of which says anything that is different to the mainstream media garbage just more and more and… However I have included a number of players on trail this summer such as Allende, Kirby, Smit and Jonkerman, and those SOURCES that tag Arsenal as interested just to ramp up the click bait after a deal is done!
Happy to share this with you although this season I didn’t capture the source links like I have in previous years (too much time on my hands! Or a little less. I don’t know.) This is the greatest lie list the media fools have produced; it is usually somewhere between 120 and 130, but 185 is a far greater lie than ever before. So far our spend on these rumours would be in excess of £2bn. We’d win the Lie Sports Totaliser; Jim White would explode! Is that a bad thing?
Keep up the good work!
Wilfred Bony by goal.com
Since when was No 30 a winger?
56 moved to Napoli a while back
72 is now at PSG
83 is part of the $iteh ‘we desperately need some “Home Grown” players’
Thanks Mick and that and bony and others mentioned mean we have topped the 100 barrier mark.
Douglas Santos has been linked to us this summer.
With the exception of Kos, Jonny Evans is at least as good as any of the central defenders (injured or fit) we currently have at Arsenal and would be an asset.
This Bony story has been around for a few days now and couldn’t come at a more inconvenient time. With media pressure on to sign a striker Wenger might actually go out and do it.
Cheating
Hooligans
Eventually
Lose
Sanctity
Ever
After
Mick – thanks… but we added in Phil Ochs a week or so back.
Kenneth – brilliant brilliant brilliant.
Sorry Tony, I missed Ochs on your list….should have gone to Specsavers.
Great work! It’s said that the list is over a 100 and these guys still have jobs in the media! I can’t imagine any other career where you can have such a poor success rate and still keep your job!
Can’t
Help
England
Lose
Signing
Everyone
Abroad
Apparently, the £30 million pound offer that we haven’t made for Mahrez has been rejected!
I see the headlines on a few sites ‘ARSENE WENGER TO MAKE SHOCK £30 MILLION BID FOR STRIKER’
Given that those same sites have been clamouring for Wenger to buy a striker for weeks, and given that Wenger has said he will buy a striker if the right one becomes available, why is it a such a SHOCK.
And to continue the tally above 100, the Express is now linking Arsenal with Hoffenheim defender Fabian Schar
http://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/698675/Arsenal-Hoffenheim-Fabian-Schar-availabe-8-6m-transfer-news-gossip
Churlish
Heathens
Emasculating
Listless
Supporters
Every
Afternoon
Callous
Hedonists
Effortlessly
Lauding
Seriously
Egregious
Avarice
Calamitously
Hopeless
Eccentric
Lackees
Slavishly
Enduring
Abramovich
Childishly
Hapless
Egotists
Lingering
Soberly
Every
Announcement
Couldn’t
Help
Eden
Lost
Seeing
Eva
Around
Don’t forget Antoine Griezmann
https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/1585480/arsenal-transfer-news-arsene-wenger-will-only-buy-a-superstar-striker-as-he-targets-robert-lewandowski-and-antoine-griezmann/
OMG-youve swept the board there! Great stuff!