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Victory Through Harmony
Snooping Around Everton and Tot Blogs
By Sammy The Snake (plus a little meander from his friend)
Taking cue from President Hosni Mobarak of Egypt, and in line with all our Untold efforts to avoid an uprising around this strategic corner of the web, I hereby remove my offspring from the line of succession and appoint Wallee The Worm (my long term confident and head of my personal secret agency) as Vice President of Snooping Around party headquarters. You may not appreciate it now, but our censorship of all things Untold has a very minor effect on the price of gossips, gold and oil.
Everton came out of their EPL deep sleep on Saturday to score a goal against Chelski in the good old FA Cup, but then they went back to REM with 15 minutes left on the clock and the game finished 1-1. That’s probably good for the Russian Mafia who get to sell a few tickets for the return/replay game, which should help them nicely towards Fernando Torres’ first week salary!
Arsenal play Everton (sitting idle at 14th position with 27 points from 23 points, and just 5 wins so far) in mid week, and it may potentially be probably interesting to have a look at their blogs and… Let’s see;
Toffeeweb doesn’t even load properly, and looks as boring as my grand father’s underpants. I simply don’t appreciate their thought process with the article stating “… rumor-mongering, with Mexican flop Carlos Vela of Arsenal cited as the latest loan target for David Moyes.” How dare you?! You have a 25 man squad of flops, how dare you?!!! You should be so lucky… Chapter closed on this blog.
Evertonblog.co.uk is simple, simple minded, and simply awful. Their last post is dated 30th of October, 2010.
Everton Football Blog has a single article, dated 30th of January 2010. The blog is titled “Everton – The defense is back?” with a picture of Senderos! Keep asking yourself that question, mate!
Another boring blog is Everton-Mad, with a list of news (whatever they can gather) about their team. The only title taking my eye is “Moyes pessimistic over late deals”. Yes, you can’t find any new players to help you suck at the game of football!
Sorry to say, I could find nothing to note at The Offside Everton too. The official Evertonfc.com offers nothing more. They are either pushing to sell their magazine, or offering “tickets for re-arranged games on general sales” (otherwise known as a desperate plea for cash).
The juicy stuff can be found at their discussion board, where fans express their opinions (not knowing I’m listening!). I’m amazed at what I hear (errr… read!), as there are more Liverpool fans around than Evertonians! Anyway, here’s a serving:
“5 wins out of last 15”. “Has Moyes lost his marbles?”. “We’re properly in the brown stuff moneywise”. “And Arsenal next up in the league…oh sh*t.” (This one is music to my ears, like Eric Clapton playing Layla on a dark summer night).
On a serious note, the discussion with most posts is “Fan Stabbed”. The discussion goes on & on to see if it’s a rumor or real news, and if the cause for such behavior is social, cultural or based on class. It’s simply pointless as Everton fans & Kop simply chew each other out with no end game.
Nothing personal, but I must conclude that Evertonian are as useless in their blogging as they are with their football. And that’s all I have to say about that.
But curiously the bloggolevel (a mezzanine between floor 19 and 20 at the Tower of Untoldidity) strayed for a moment into a set of discussions on various Tottenham sites about the move to Stratford. What was interesting was that across these services there are huge numbers of accusations of the people for the move being Arsenal supporters in disguise. Indeed Mr Leavy of The Tott is accused of exactly that. There are huge levels of vitriol in this, but beneath the cods-wallop the message is, is you support Tottenham in Stratford then you are part of an anti-Tottenham underworld run by Arsenal which has infiltrated the club for years and repeatedly stopped the club from fulfilling its destiny.
So vitriolic is the bile emanating from these discussion groups and blogs that anyone who comes up with a reasoned argument to the contrary is shouted down and abused to such a degree that one would need a skin the thickness of a polar icecap prior to climate change to withstand the assault. (Of course it does leave open the option of going onto such sites and letting the readers know that it is true, and that Arsenal has been controlling the totts for years and that Mr Leavy is on the Arsenal payroll. But that would be a bit cruel.
An oddity indeed.
Love & Peace,
Sammy The Snake (and his friend)