- Arsenal v Bolton: football (but not as we know it), referees and Nic Anelka
- Sexist Uefa loses its accreditation and Bolton struggle in defence
By Bulldog Drummond
“Arteta rejects talk of Arsenal dark arts” is a rather grand statement in the Guardian; grand in the sense that no one really ever defines what the “dark arts” are. I suppose it is the notion that Mikel Arteta signed Jorginho so that unlike the manager Jorginho can run along the touchline and see the way the defensive line of the opposition is working and pass that on to the manager who passes it on to the team. Or else it is an oratorio performed in a pub after closing time.
Maybe but since Arsenal have a video of each and every game the opposition play I am not sure what Jorginho will do – although he would be able to pick up changes made during the game by patrolling along the touch line as if warming up, while Arteta is stuck in his managerial “technical area”.
But perhaps someone else can take over tonight as Trossard is suspended. But, meanwhile, all the press is getting worked up on Neto not playing in goal. Not only does he have an appropriate name, not only is he on loan from Bournemouth, but he is cup-tied, at least as far as I know.
Everyone has talked about the injuries so much you probably know them off by heart, but in case you’ve already had a drink before reading this (I am strictly on herbal tea) we are without Kieran Tierney, Martin Odegaard, Mikel Merino, Oleksandr Zinchenko, Tommy Setford, and Takehiro Tomiyasu. Although, it is possible that the working bits of these players could be put together to build a new super-player. And given the nonsense most of the media has been preaching of late, that seems eminently sensible.
So if Raya really is injured (he had a bandage on after the last game – but then given the way the ref let ManC play I suspect most players had bandages on after the game) we might have a 10-year-old in goal (although maybe actually he is a bit older than that) and we have Alexei Rojas.
Plus we don’t want to play the first teamers who are still just recovering from injury. Although that is what Arsenal usually do.
And so the Standard gives us a team of
Porter;
Nichols, Gabriel, Kiwior, Lewis-Skelly;
Nwaneri, Jorginho, Rice;
Saka, Jesus, Sterling
Lewis Skelly we may note has had 27 games with the Under 21s. Meanwhile, among the possibly ok also available are Martinelli, Timber, Raya, and White.
FoLo makes a big thing of Arsenal having Raya as “potentially injured” (which is the football equivalent to the “potential news” that FoLo publishes,) and two other keepers injured and they go for Porter while asking the rather silly question, “Who is Jack Porter?”
The answer is he is a first year scholar who has played for England at youth level and the Arsenal under 18s and who was on the bench for the Champs League match against Atalanta.
Give Me Sport are pretty sure Nwaneri and Lewis-Skelly will be playing along with Gabriel Jesus and Raheem Sterling. FoLo has, not for the first time, chickened out and decided not to give us a team but a possible squad instead, which is in fact just about everyone left standing.
We have not previously quoted The Football Faithful website before but with most of the regular sources failing even to take a guess at the line up we have to move on and reward those who do. So they give us a rather fun 4-2-4 arrangement…
Raya;
White, Heaven, Kiwior, Lewis-Skelly;
Rice, Jorginho;
Saka, Nwaneri, Sterling; Jesus.
Meanwhile, I see that the rather ludicrous media habit of jettisoning headlines and instead asking questions such as “What time is kick off” and then answering them with 7.45pm, as opposed to saying “Kick-off is at 7.45pm” has spread throughout the media, and I suspect most journalists and sub-editors don’t even really how extraordinarily childish it is to ask a question and answer it all in one go.
But then that’s journalism for you. And so we just have time for one more line up this from the Football Faithful
Raya;
White, Heaven, Kiwior, Lewis-Skelly;
Rice, Jorginho; Saka,
Nwaneri, Sterling;
Jesus.
which is similar to the above in all but positions, which must mean it is time to call it a day and contemplate how long it is before I am allowed that glass of red.
