Erling Haaland threatened with imprisonment, and a publicity stunt

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By Tony Attwood

Now when I first came across this story I did think it was a bit of a wind up – the notion that Erling Haaland could be imprisoned – (although seemingly only in the Swiss canton of Vaud).

But the story turned up in Blick, a Swiss German-language daily newspaper and website, and that does tend to suggest there is something a bit more serious in this.  For they tell us that an Official Notice, published on 25 October revealed that Haaland failed to pay a fine of 60 francs (something in the order of £53.66 at today’s reckoning.)

Now we don’t know why the multi-millionaire has not paid his fine, but from the details available the guess is that it was a speeding fine.

What we also know is that the father of the Manchester City player (Alf-Inge Haaland) was himself a professional footballer, who picked up 34 caps for Norway – so a player of some distinction one might say.  He has apparently been living in the Uri village of Andermatt for over a year and from that we may assume that his son has on occasion popped over to see his father, as any devoted and decent son would indeed do.

And we may assume that it was while popping over to see the “old man” (not a phrase I like, being a grandfather myself, but one used in common parlance), that the more famous member of the family, hired a car and went for a spin, at a speed a bit too fast for the authorities’ liking.

But Erling Haaland’s lapse could become a little more serous as there are consequences for not paying a fine even if it is just fifty quid or so. Because if he does not pay it, he risks a stay in a cell the next time he appears on Swiss territory.

In Switzerland, an unpaid fine is punishable by a prison sentence ranging from one day to three months.  And quite right too – we can’t have these multi-millionaires trotting around the countryside as if they own the place (which in Haaland’s case he probably does).

That being said, it is hard to imagine a player paid around 1.8 million euros per month not paying 60 francs.   And there is what the ever droll Sun newspaper calls and “Amusing coincidence”, for according to “The Sun”, the player who finished top scorer in the English championship at the end of the last two seasons and 2nd in the 2023 Ballon d’Or was offered a new contract by his club worth 120 million euros over five years.  That’s about £20m a year – surely enough to lend the old man a bob or two.

But let;’s move on to something more positive, for The Telegraph today tells us that:

“On his own, Martin Odegaard is an exceptionally good footballer. The same is patently true of Bukayo Saka. Both players are undoubtedly among the very best in the Premier League.

“For Arsenal, though, the real beauty of having these two is that they are even better when they are together. As a pair, Odegaard and Saka are greater than the considerable sum of their parts. Odegaard unlocks Saka’s enormous attacking threat like no other team-mate, while Saka provides a platform that allows Odegaard to thrive by attracting opposition defenders.”

The report goes on to say these two together “form one of the most devastating offensive weapons in the division.”

I think we have indeed just seen that, but what I think was also interesting was the extra note that quoted Arteta as saying, “With those two, it happens off the field and on the field.”

And there is something else in the Telegraph article that I think is worth noting.  They say, “In recent seasons, Odegaard has had spells in matches when he has seemingly reached a higher plane of footballing existence. Moments when he seems to be playing a different game to everyone else, when all his tricks, flicks and passes work to glorious effect.”

Of course there is a danger when a club only works when two players are together, and obviously Arsenal needs to keep building the squad, but the injuries to both players this season has very much coincided with a downturn, and the benefit of their return at the weekend was plain to see on the pitch. 

And we can also note that we have the third best defence in the league so far this season, despite injuries.

Plus we have that new kid on the block – you know, the one who came on as a 15-year-old to be the youngest-ever player in the Premier League, and all the media said it was just a publicity stunt…..