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September 2020
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Ashley Cole: the question that is never asked

By Tony Attwood

We have been talking in my company about Ashley Cole – and one thing came up.   Why did he take a gun to work?

It is an interesting question because it is one that is laden with pre-meditation – unless of course Mr Cole always takes a gun to work.

I agreed with my fellow directors that should anyone ever turn up at our marketing and publishing company with a weapon we would sack them on the spot, escort them from the premises, change all the locks and call the police.

Having done that we would also then start thinking, “Why did he/she bring a gun to work?”

What’s interesting is that this is not a question that has been asked in any of the publications that I have read (and of course I may well have missed the article if someone did cover it).   But anyway, we carried on with the debate, trying to think why you would ever bring a gun to work if you were a footballer.

Reasons might be…

a) To shoot someone who was annoying you

b) Because others bring guns to work and you feel it is a necessary precaution since a small scale war is liable to break out at any time.

c) You often get the urge to conduct a small scale robbery on the way in to work (those Snickers Bars are bloody expensive after all, and the queues in the supermarket are really a bit too long these days).

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d) Sometimes you get a bit peckish, the canteen is rather poor in its choice, and so a spot of red kite doesn’t go amiss for elevenses.

e) It’s a macho thing.  People don’t take you seriously enough and walking around with a gun always helps impress people.

f) Someone made a demeaning comment about your manhood and since you’ve now been banned from pulling down your shorts and revealing all you stick the gun there instead.

g) You mistakenly believe that 1950s Westerns are a truthful reflection on life in the United Kingdom today.  Which of course it isn’t (although bits of south west London can be a little tiresome from time to time I am led to believe).

I don’t know which of these applies to Mr Cole, but it just shows that there are many reasons why one might indulge in this sort of behaviour.

Clearly it didn’t cause much of a stir at the club.  The manager called A Cole “one of the best professionals” with whom he has worked over his career, and that the club would support rather than “kill him” for his misdemeanour.

Mr Abramovich, a man who might well know a thing or two about the rougher outlands of society, having been in the oil business, was said to be taking  “appropriate action” against the player.   One imagines targets have been set up around the ground to improve his accuracy.

Mr Ancelotti said the training ground is “not out of control” – which is an interesting concept.   A player brings a weapon to work and that is defined as being something that is under the control of the club.   Perhaps all the players are told to bring in weapons.   Cobham is another of those areas that is a bit touch and go, I hear.

Also we know the problems that arise down there.  Cole and Terry have had certain issues with the media of late – so maybe all players are armed to protect themselves against journalists.   That, I suppose, is fair enough.

30 comments to Ashley Cole: the question that is never asked

  • Dark Prince

    To be honest, i’ve not heard the media saying that it was his gun. So its important to determine whether is was his gun or not….

  • Gf60

    The ex-Mr Tweedy has often shown himself incapable of self discipline. How on earth does he manage to maintain normal pro football standards on the pitch? Maybe it’s the one area of his life that he is held to account.

  • Gf60

    DP. Does it matter?

  • Alfie

    GF60 – I think DP’s point is the most valid seeing as the article is asking why he bought an air rifle to work. If we could determine if he didnt than surely the article would read “Why did he shoot an air rifle at work” with much less legal implications.

  • Samuel

    they say it was a gun…but not a real 1…it was an air gun…which is still as dangerous but not life threating as an actual gun….Cashly cole is now bored at chelsea so he trying to find other means of entertainment lol. we call ppl like dat Retards lool.

  • Stuart

    I heard the previous day mr Ancelotti said come in prepared for shooting practice tomorrow.

    boom boom!!

  • I’d like to bring my gun to work… there’s some fat wood pigeon in the tree outside my window that have ‘pie’ written all over them – fair bit of rabbit about too.

    He probably just did it to show off – it’s obvious that he doesn’t shoot as a hobby as the first thing you learn is to never point it at anybody and ALWAYS make sure that you know if it is loaded or not… either that or he just bought it, had it delivered to the training ground and wanted to play with his new toy.

    He’s a knob – he does knobbish things, is it news anymore that this is the case?

    🙂

  • Shard

    Would you really begrudge someone bringing in a gun to work, if John Terry was their colleague? Come on.. Be fair.

  • Sammy The Snake

    I heard Shryl Cole was coming over to the bridge, and with terry around, A Cole wanted to just make sure. You never know what Terry might do to an Ex, right?!

    Joking aside, i urge you to lay off Ashly. He’s just an A-hole, so there’s no justifying his actions… The poor SOB feels he can do whatever the f@ck he likes. Let the chap be!

  • Dark Prince

    GF60- well it does matter if we’re accusing him of bringing it to work. It could be possible that it was someone else had brought the gun and Cole got a hand on it durin work. Either way no excuse for what he did.

  • gooner80

    It just seems trouble follows Cashley. if the young apprentice shot cashley he would have been sacked by chelsea immediately, but because cole is worth alot of money and is a vital part of the squad a blind eye gets turned. it is really one rule for one and another rule for everyone else.

    Saf another example.

    IMO things like this happen everyday at the training ground of chelsea, it is very much controlled by the players and they have been pretty much allowed to do what they want. chelsea can only ever endear themselves to GLORY hunters, they lack so much class and the sooner we establish ourselves as the undisputed pride of london again the better, we can then concentrate on all of england.

    Football fans are to blame as a whole, because if we didnt subscribe to sky, the tv deals of premiership teams would be alot less and we wouldnt have the attitude of these millionaire footballers, Cashley is the ambassador of this type of footballer who just does what he wants, no loyalty to anyone, football used to be alot more innocent, but all this money floating about in the game, causes corruption, causes the vast difference between the fans and the players and in alot of ways has changed the game for the worse

  • RedGooner

    Tony, The question you should be asking is “Why Ashley Cole hasnt been arrested”
    Before I worked as a Pilot where its a federal ofence in the USA to carry a gun on Airport property, I worked for multinationals like Intel and if an employee so much as brought a gun to work never mind fired and hit someone. They would have been arrested.
    So when something is common knowledge and the police dont even investigate it beggers belief. Its to late now at this stage.

    We expect low life standards from Chelsea whether its Terry parked in handicap spaces or cheating with team mates partners Cole shooting people, Lamaprd unfaithful etc etc.

    BUT we should expect more from the England National Team picking these guy’s and the Law in general. Amazing what cash can do when it comes to buying silence.

  • a) If Cashley was planning to shoot someone who was “annoying” him, wouldn’t someone who finds him “annoying” find that… interesting? Not that I’m condoning that, but, let’s face it, he IS annoying.

    b) We have seen training-ground bust-ups, including those involving former Arsenal players at Manchester City. And, as long as we’re being honest, who hasn’t wanted to smash John Terry’s face in? Actually, it looks like someone may have beaten us to it…

    c) I know he’s obsessed with money (hence “Cashley”), but “a small scale robbery”? He ain’t that stupid.

    e) I wouldn’t put it past him to engage in “a macho thing,” especially since the whole mobile-phone thing, true or not, is still in people’s minds. Which also, in a way, includes f).

    Not sure about d) and g). Also, Dark Prince and Sammy make interesting points.

  • Dark Prince

    Also it raises security issues. If Cole, or anyone for that matter, was allowed to bring a gun onto the pitch, then is it possible that it could be brought within the stadium during matches, which could be a shock, a disaster waitin to happen. The FA too should be looking into the matter relating safety and security.

  • Shard

    Dark Prince

    I think the key difference is that Cobham is legally private property (i think), while a stadium would be classified as a public area.

  • gooner80

    I just heard RVP is in the squad for BARCA

  • walter

    gooner80,
    RVP is going to shoot Barca down. Now that is on topic. 😉

  • Northbanksy

    Because he has the emotional age of a 9 year old boy.

  • Rhys Jaggar

    He was clearly bringing it in to show this work experience lad. What appears to be the case is that he wasn’t very skilled in using it.

    However, greater people than him have shot buddies with an airgun, notably a colleague of VP Dick Cheney on some Republican Pow-Wow in the Deep South.

    The inspired comments on that incident included the wonderfully sanguine ‘What could be more American than shooting buckshot into the arse of your best buddy??’

    I guess given all the songs about mobile phones, perhaps Mr Cole was worried about taking a minor on work experience to his home to see the gun there, fearing the tabloids might try to out him as having picked up a rent boy or the like.

    So I think you would see this as supremely stupid, but not malevolent behaviour.

    Doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be cautioned and certainly would imply that he shouldn’t be owning a gun without knowing how to use it.

    But I don’t think it goes any further than that……..

  • FinnGooner

    My problem (apart why the gun was there) has been why Cole was pointing a gun towards that boy? Maybe because I have grown up around guns (my parents hunt for food only) I have always thought as COMMON SENSE RULE “Do not point gun, loaded or not, towards another person” (unless you mean to shoot him/her. that is to prevent accidents in case unloaded gun turnes out to be loaded.
    Right Cole and common sense not in same sentence.

    RVP will have final test tomorrow and if he passes it he will be in squad, that news did ease my headache little bit.

  • gooner80

    I heard a stat that in the champions league arsenal have qualified 15/16 games where they took a lead from the first leg anyone know the game we didnt qualify?

  • Shard

    @Gooner80

    Valencia..with John Carew scoring the winner at Mestalla, after we took a 2-1 lead there.

  • gooner80

    Ah of course

    it all comes back to me Shard, toure scored at highbury, Henry missed a golden chance,yjen we went there and lost carew header. thank you for refreshing my memory

  • gooner80

    The odds on arsenal have been dropping since RVP was named in the provisional squad

  • Mandy Dodd

    Ashley Cole – a gun at training – Do I sense a conspiracy here – any grassy knolls at their ground?

  • Brickfields Gunners

    a)He is a certified attention seeking moron .
    b)He wanted to turn it on himself but chickened out .
    c)He wanted to “go postal ” as the Americans call it .
    d)He wanted to make Big Carlo an offer he couldn’t refuse .
    e)He’s preparing for a Rap career(he’s got the crotch grabbing & dancing with ‘hoes down pat).
    f)He’s trying to spice up his life to fill up his memoirs.
    g)He’s ….who the fuck cares!

  • Ugandan Goon

    you cannot expect akid living alone not get the occasional night fright or two, ashley lives in a big house and what with cheryl and her mom moving out, it can be scary at home with no adults about.
    I mean hand on heart, who hasn’t seen “home alone”? and had the mind numbing fear that joe pesci might be on the other side of the door when you peek through the letterbox.
    the plutonium is in the post but in the mean time steps had to be taken, with contract talks looming and JT walking around with his zip undone, a boy cannot be too careful.
    So lay off the cobham massive, you …. you MEN (and mandy)!

  • Ben

    I think most likely it was his ‘toy’ to show off

  • Terence McGovern

    Perhaps Ashley was trying to promote a feature article of him in “Shoot” magazine

  • well-endowed gooner

    Maybe he’s joined a gun enthusiasts’ club, and was heading to the meeting after training. Or maybe Cole brought it along because John Terry was asking to see his air gun. It’s not that big a deal. I myself brought a bazooka to work the other day because if I put a wig on it, I can drive in the express lane on the freeway.