Here it is – part of the text from last night…
“2-1 to the Arsenal,” said Billy.
“Hat-trick for Theo,” I agreed.
OK I got the goalscorer wrong, but the score was once again correct, and the notion of the own goal was right – although once again I admit I got the side wrong.
And yes, I agree, the bit about the Liverpool bankers digging a tunnel under the pitch to escape with the gate money, and thus causing a hillock in the middle of the pitch, off which the ball bounces didn’t actually happen. But the own goal was nearly as good.
And so I come back to the basics. I wrote 2-1 to the Arsenal, when most of the other blogs seemed to be going for a nervous 1-1.
So am I a total genius or what?
Let’s go back to the start of the season with the Everton game. I predicted 7-1 to the Arsenal. Yes, I fully admit, it was only six, but it was close and we could have had that 7th in the last minute of the game when Ramsey should have passed instead of shooting and sending the ball onto the moon.
Not every prediction has been right, but there has been a stunning accuracy from this blog. You could have made a fortune following me – but now it is too late as even the bookies in Tottenham know not to accept bets on my predictions.
Meanwhile back in the match there was also the fact that the Carragher fellow was playing. You will recall that in 2002 the Carragher picked up a coin that had been thrown onto the pitch and threw it at the crowd.
The FA in true style did nothing, although the ref sent him off with a straight red card.
The point about this incident is that throwing a coin from the crowd is unforgivable and anyone caught doing this or indeed throwing anything should be removed and banned, and quite probably arrested by the police and fined by the Magistrates Court.
But throwing from the crowd at a player although awful is nothing compared with throwing from the field of play at the crowd. That way round you are certain to hit someone and certain to cause damage. The crowd can’t get out the way or turn a back. It is a much worse offence.
Carragher should have been banned for one hell of a long time – not just from football, but he should also have been banned from attending any match at Arsenal for life.
That wouldn’t have affected him for this game, in which he played, but it would have given him pause for thought.
Back in the present I will leave everyone else to describe all the wonderful events, and our near escapes – of which there were several, and instead reflect on the fact that we are…
Third in the league with a game in hand over the other members of the top seven except Manchester Arab. We have seven more points than Liverpool and six less than Chelsea, three less than Manchester IOU.
We are the joint top scorers in the Bent EPL – 40 goals from 15 games. Our defence which is apparently such a total and awful shambles is indeed the worst in the top 4 (we have let in 19, against 13 and 14 for the others), but the rest of the top 7 are above us in goals conceded
We have lost four games, just like Manchester IOU. The Tiny Totts in 5th have lost five, and Liverpoodle in 7th have lost six.
So what else do you want us to do with 110% of the first team currently injured? We now probably have lost Arshavin, Traore and Gallas for the game ‘tup norf where there undoubtedly be trouble ‘tup mill. (My apologies to the readers of this site who honour me by reading all this when English is not their first language, and those who even with English as a first language find that last bit incomprehensible – it is a Londoner joke about the strange way they talk in the remoter parts of our kingdom).
But we will somehow find a team and we will play more wonderful football at Burnley.
This is what supporting Arsenal is all about. Watching that first goal go in and thinking, “oh no, we are letting this go” but still having faith, and that faith being rewarded by our roaring laughter at the own goal and an utter frenzy of delight at the Arshavin shot.
Next week Theo will score with his head from the half way line. But until then….
I thank you.
(c) Tony the Fortune Teller.
I also do history. See www.emiratesstadium.info.
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