And it all starts at Boreham Stiff on Saturday

By Billy the Dog McGraw, Head of Things at the University Hospital of the North Circular Road.

It seems only days ago that the World Cup ended [it was, you turnip – Tony] but now its time to start playing football again.

With lots of players on holiday, or only just starting to train, Arsenal have to take whoever’s left to Meadow Park for the traditional pre-season game with Boreham Stiff [Wood] on Saturday.

So who might we see?   Basically lots of people who didn’t toddle off to Brazil.

Welcome back…

  • Szczesny
  • Gibbs
  • Rosicky
  • Arteta
  • Ramsey
  • Monreal
  • Flamini
  • Sanogo
  • Diaby
  • Jenkinson
  • Gnabry
  • Zelalem
  • Hayden
  • Eisfeld
  • Ryo
  • Akpom

That is enough men to play in their famous Arsenal History Society inspired yellow and blue PUMA kit.  The tickets are however on the pricey side: £22 (sitting down), £18 (standing up) and £14 (standing up for older people and younger people).

And if you really want to get out and about here are some other games – although some are behind the doors which are marked “closed” and “keep out” and “no entry allowed” and that sort of thing.

Arsenal v Bournemouth FC

Wednesday, July 16
Kick-off: high noon
Arsenal Training Ground (no entry squire, not even for £22)

Harrow Borough FC v Arsenal XI

Saturday, July 26
Kick-off: 3pm
Earlsmead Stadium.  £10, £6 for the old, £2 for the little ones.

New York Red Bulls v Arsenal

Saturday, July 26   Kick off: 10pm; sold out.

Boreham Stiff FC v Arsenal XI

Friday, August 1
Kick-off: 7.30pm
Odd, we seem to be playing them twice!

Emirates Cup

2/3 August – you know about this one.  We’re all going there on the Sunday.

Forest Green Rovers FC v Arsenal XI

Tuesday, August 5
Kick-off: 7pm
This is in Nailsworth, which I think is in Gloucestershire, and is the place team that the Leeds manager last managed before joining Leeds, and finding that for his first fixture, the opposition didn’t show (that was a day or two ago in Italy).

Arsenal v Man City

Community Shield, Sunday, August 10
Kick-off: 3pm

Did you know that they had to change it from the Charity Shield, because the FA were found guilty of breaking all the Charity Commission rules, and then argued that “those rules don’t apply to us, we’re the FA”?  The FA cut the Arsenal ticket level down to 26,000 again.  Ludicrous.

Arsenal XI v Colchester United

Tuesday, August 12
Kick-off: Noon
Arsenal Training Ground
No entry!!!

After that we start the serious stuff.  Sky have already moved these games…


Arsenal v Crystal Palace, Saturday 16, 5:30pm

Everton v Arsenal, Saturday 23, 5:30pm

Leicester City v Arsenal, Sunday 31, 4pm


Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur, Saturday 27, 5:30pm


Chelsea v Arsenal, Sunday 5, 2:05pm

Swansea City v Arsenal, Sunday 9, 4pm

Arsenal v Manchester United, Saturday 22, 5:30pm

Meanwhile BT Sprout, famously unable to cope with any addition questions at all, and who spent last year’s Emirates Cup laughing at their own total dysfunctionality as commentators, have…


Arsenal v Manchester City, Saturday 13, 12:45pm


West Bromwich Albion v Arsenal, Saturday 30, 12:45pm

So there we are.  All ready to start.  Just need a few more players now.

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17 Replies to “And it all starts at Boreham Stiff on Saturday”

  1. Hey Doc, been at the ether meth again? Neither Swansea v Arsenal on Sunday, October 9th and Arsenal v Manure on Saturday 22nd October gel in my diary.

  2. It will be good to see an Arsenal team in action again, even if it is a makeshift one. Who will play center back – Jenks & Hayden? If so Flamini at right back?

  3. For clarity here are the TV adjusted times as published on

    Sat 16 Aug
    Arsenal v Crystal Palace 5:30pm Sky Sports

    Sat 23 Aug
    Everton v Arsenal 5.30pm Sky Sports

    Sun 31 Aug
    Leicester City v Arsenal 4.00pm Sky Sports

    Sat 13 Sep
    Arsenal v Manchester City 12.45pm BT Sprout

    Sat 27 Sep
    Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur 5.30pm Sky Sports

    Sun 5 Oct
    Chelsea v Arsenal 2.05pm Sky Sports

    Sun 9 Nov
    Swansea City v Arsenal 4.00pm Sky Sports

    Sat 22 Nov
    Arsenal v Manchester United 5.30pm Sky Sports

    Sat 29 Nov
    West Bromwich Albion v Arsenal 12.45pm BT Sprout

  4. bjtgooner
    Jenks can hardly head the ball in any particular direction, so it would have to be Hayden (who’s worth it anyway).
    Hope to see Diaby complete a game also.

  5. Francis Coquelin is listed on as a first team squad member but without a number.

    From the academy we could also include for the weekend

    Hector Bellerin
    Ignasi Miquel
    Jon Toral
    Samuel Galindo
    Benik Afobe
    Damien Martinez

    Any others?

  6. Hey Billy:
    You have us playing

    Harrow Borough FC v Arsenal XI on

    Saturday, July 26.

    New York Red Bulls v Arsenal

    Saturday, July 26 Kick off: 10pm.
    How are the boys going to manage that?
    I can think of some ways. A time machine have been installed at the Ems, for example.

  7. Sorry of subject.I have just complained to BT Sport for showing TWO adverts showing us getting beaten at both Liverpool and chelsea.One maybe,not TWO.Can everyone do the same.Clearly a mandate by this company towards us.

  8. Paul,

    I have an even better way of dealing with BTsport: I don’t spend any of my money on their crappy and over-priced products. I have TalkTalk which is excellent value for money and I watch matches online.

    Fuck BTsport. Their promos for the coming season already show how they intend to cover it.

  9. Hi Tony

    On the subject of BT, I wonder if you have any thoughts on Mourinho signing a 3-year deal to be their ‘ambassador’:

    The Chelsea boss has agreed a three-year deal that will see him carry out various roles, including making football programmes and appearing as a football expert, while also acting as a BT Sport ambassador.

    Grant Best, senior channel executive producer, BT Sport, said: … “Jose is well known for his sense of humour, strong views and unique character and we will showcase this along with his expert insight into our coverage of the Barclays Premier League, European leagues and competitions.”

    Is this a conflict of interest of some sort? Is there any precedent to this sort of thing?

    Obviously we have managers making occasional pundit appearances on MOTD or whatever but I can’t recall any managers who were on 3-year deals with a local broadcaster, maybe I’m wrong though.

    On a similar ‘media’ angle, George Caulkin of the Times is reporting about the Sun forming a partnership with Newcastle:

    “Sub-plot at #Nufc – The Sun is clearly their ‘preferred’ newspaper partner.

    Only national represented at Cabella, Colback & both De Jong ‘unveilings’ – as well as others – at a time when access to non rights holders is being cut.

    Been told repeatedly that Ashley wants to break tradition of papers having free access to clubs, matches, notwithstanding free advertising in return.

    Wouldn’t be shocked if there was an announcement of some sort of official tie-in with The Sun and, if so, potentially big implications for the industry.

    One thing I’ve heard – may just be a proposal for now – is that The Sun could sponsor #Nufc Academy & so could present any arrangement as them ‘leading search for next Gazza’ for example.

    Would still be form of paid-for access. And what would fans of other clubs think?

  10. Mare St G… it is interesting stuff, and I guess the reversal of Sir F Word’s refusal to talk to the BBC because they dared report on his son’s activities.

    Also the engagement between Newcastle and the Sun is a bit like the way Leeds regularly threw out members of the press from their ground, while cozying up to others.

    As for Mourinho I guess he just hear and see enough of himself in the mirror and so wants more.

  11. Mare St Gooner

    “On the subject of BT, I wonder if you have any thoughts on Mourinho signing a 3-year deal to be their ‘ambassador’”

    I have. It’s bad news.

    Our media already dictates how football matches are refereed.

    They do this by slaughtering Referees who do not referee matches in the way they desire, regardless of whether they actually refereed the game well according to the laws of the game or not.

    And by praising Referees who Referee according to there wishes despite the fact they may of had a mare, a la Taylor in the opening match debacle last year.

    The point being, can you imagine any ref ever being criticised for a biased pro Chelsea performance in a match covered by BT?

    Or can you imagine the stick a ref will get if he makes a bad call against them in a match covered by BT?

    Obviously referees will know if BT are covering there match and they will know the reaction they will get to there decisions.

    Honestly this is really bad news.

  12. @oldgroover

    As far as I know Jenks has played CB in some of the pre-season training – it would be interesting to see how he progresses.

  13. BT seem particularly bad news as far as Arsenal are concerned, but the combination of BT and the vertically challenged git seems especially repulsive.

  14. Dear Billy ,

    Do hope to bump into you sometime this season , as I ‘have just been informed that I have come into some money and finally retire and watch my favourite team live .
    I also like to thank all of you who voted for me to get this monetary reward , the full transcript of which is below .
    I am so humbled that so many of you thought that I was deserving of this reward.


    Dear Western Union Beneficiary,


    We wish to inform you that the United Nations (UN) has authorized us to
    remit to you a total amount of 1,500,000.00 USD (One Million Five
    Hundred Thousand United States Dollars). This amount is to be paid to
    you because of the fact that you were selected as a beneficiary in the
    Last E-mail ballot promotion Held in Malaysia, by United Nations Poverty
    Alleviation Program. This Program is inline with the Social
    responsibility of the United Nations Organization, which is held once
    Every year to change the living status of five (5) lives around the
    Globe. This year, yourself and Four (4) other people were randomly
    selected. On behalf of the United Nations Organization, we wish to
    congratulate you formally. The funds was paid out to us, by the United
    Nations, And they have successfully succeeded in depositing your whole
    funds with us Here at Western Union Malaysia.

    They have now ordered us to take full Responsibility in the transfer
    process of your funds and thus commence the Immediate remittance of your
    funds to you.

    Be strongly informed that because Of our Western Union transfer policy,
    your funds will be paid to you via our Western Union Daily Transfer
    limit of 7,600.00 USD. This means that you will Continuously receive a
    daily amount of 7,600.00 USD from us, and this amount Can be collected
    from any of our numerous Western Union outlets in your Current location.

    To begin receiving your daily payment as stated above, we need you to
    provide Us with; Your Full Name, Address, and Phone Number. Upon receipt
    of the Requested details, your first transaction will be activated by
    you, before we can proceed to provide you with the Money Transfer
    Control others after 24 hours of Receiving each payment.

    For more information on your payment status; E-mail Mr. Tony Yung: OR call our 24 hours Helpline @ +60.111.504.9770
    for any inquiries on the above message.

    Yours truly,
    Mrs. Liza Amir
    For: United Nations/Western Union, Malaysia

  15. The BBC Football page has this:
    > Van Gaal will spark revival – Robson

    > Manchester United legend Bryan Robson says new boss Louis van Gaal can turn the club into title challengers immediately.

    This on the tails of the announcement of their Adidas sponsorship. I think I would rather see them finish out of the Top-10 of the EPL, and for there to be a clause in their Adidas sponsorship that would allow them to walk away in that event. The problem is that ManU still expects they have the RIGHT to always be at the top of the EPL.


    Oh Brickfields, congratulations on your windfall.

  16. The marketing manager of bt sport is a spurs fan.And to think they will have the CL from next season.I see Michael Owen is predicting a non top 4 finish for Arsenal again saying we lack quality!

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