One of the best statements I have read on this site since the end of the 10 year unbeaten run was that encouraging us all to wear the shirt with pride.
The 10 year run in which we were unbeaten in the league by Tottenham Sewage (a club renamed to coincide with the chants of its supporters) has been as glorious as the 49 unbeaten in the league.
I agree with the sentiment totally: when possible wear the Arsenal shirt with pride – especially as at this moment the EPL is starting its long awaited implosion.
We know that Man U and Liverpool are both desperate for money, and each money has begged for £60m. And while we have to put up with the annual “Cesc is off” routine from tired hacks who can’t see through the bottom of the glass enough to realise that no one except a bunch of catastrophe theorists is listening, it is nice to know that Man U and Liverpool are now getting a bit of it too. Gerrard to Inter anyone?
But there’s more. I’ve been raising the issue of the problems at Birmingham City (the Team of Satan) for some time, and finally the dam broke as the investment bank (ie Bank of Satan) Seymour Pierce took control of the Devil’s own club and can now put it up for sale.
The club’s semi-owner, Carson Yeung, failed to pay a £2.2m fee to the bank. (He’s not really the owner, he’s just a very naughty boy).
Last month, the bank, the company chaired by Keith Harris and Orville, sued for money it said it was owed. It went to court (as one does) and got a court order requiring the little boy to pay up by the start of the week. Yeung however said his mum had defaulted on the pocket money front, but he was expecting a postal order. (Sorry to non-English nationals, and those under 50, as I appreciate that is not making any sense, but those who remember Billy Bunter will know where I am going).
And of course we have not even started on the fact that West Porno United are suing Birmingham City and Birmingham are suing West Porno.
Meanwhile up the road at ramshackle Liverpool El Boss has said that when he guaranteed a top 4 finish he didn’t actually mean “guarantee” and he is going to stay and see out the rest of his astonishingly well-paid contract.
Apparently a Chinese investor is interested in buying out the co-owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett and keeping Benítez on as manager. The investor’s name is… well.,,.. Yeung.
Liverpuddle are trying to find £100m to pay the banks, and another £60m transfer money to give to Billy Benitez.
It looks like lots of managerships are going to be up for grabs: Liverpool if Billy goes, Juve, Inter (the Italians don’t like Jose, and anyway they might get done for match fixing), Real Mad who are now so broke even the state can’t support them…
Which reminds me Wenger is off the Real Mad and taking Cesc with him, and we are getting Benitez. Everyone happy with that?
Meanwhile the EPL is taking the government quango Ofcom to court, after Ofcom said that Sky should charge 23% less on its wholesale prices of football to Virgin and BT. The very independently minded Sun, News of the World and Times (co-incidentally all owned by the same firm that owns Sky) have run the story that Ofcom wants to destroy grass roots football by cutting off its money.
Actually guys, the money goes to the players. Grass roots gets peanuts.
And here’s another thing. Lots of readers (well four at least) have written to ask me what Kroenke is up to, as if I would know.
Stan has announced that he wants to buy the 60% of the St Louis Rams he does not already own – just when the Good Lady BS wants to flog her Arsenal shares. What’s all that about?
Well normally I come on all definitive at this point and lay down the detail, and then when proven wrong, pretend I never said it in the first place.
The problem is with Stan is that he uses Delaware to hold his shares and wealth. Delaware (and here I speak as an Englishman all of whose companies are registered at Companies House in Cardiff) is a bit like the Channel Island of Sark (which I know quite well because part of my mum’s family came from Guernsey).
In Sark there is no law or regulation covering the concept “company” and as far as I can work out it is much the same in Delaware. You don’t report profits and losses, you don’t file annual accounts and so forth. A bit like the British Virgin Isles too, where I believe Tottenham Sewage’s ultimate owner lives and where some of their money comes and goes.
Sark has a population of 580, and some estimates are that the average adult is a director of around 2000 companies.
Anyway, Delaware might not quite be Sark, but its off the beaten track financially, so maybe Stan can still lay his hands on enough to put in a bid for all of Arsenal if someone deemed undesirable is seen to be wanting to make a bid.
But my guess, which is not worth much, is that no one wants the BS Shares – if they are being sought, why hire a blood sucking vampire like a merchant bank to flog the goodies.
(Incidentally if we have any readers on Sark or Guernsey and you can update me on the economy of either island, I am always pleased to receive information. I know the Sark Lark (don’t worry about it if you don’t know) is long dead, but current info is worthwhile, especially with our esteemed teams like Leeds United having so much to do with matters just across the waves in the equally independent Jersey.)
So that’s it. Birmingham, like Rangers in Scotland, have been taken over by a bank. Most of the EPL won’t qualify for the Champs League in two years. Liverpool need £100m, and both Liver and Man U are struggling for cash. The EPL are suing a government quango, and still think they will “force” Uefa to drop the “benefactor” rule and so keep Chelsea and Man C in business.
And we haven’t even got to the financial problems at Villa, Everton, and well, most of the rest of the league.
Quite fun really.
PS: What about if Kronke runs out of cash and Usmanov buys more shares? Usmanov has 41%, and makes a bid for the rest. I doubt that many will sell up, as the price is now dropping. So he’s a minority shareholder, and the board can still do their stuff.
PPS: I may not be accurate but at least I try to make it jolly.
Read the book – it really is very amusing.
- Everton v Arsenal: a happy video, line-up and what the league table will look like after
- Everton v Arsenal: Injuries, points needed for 4th, and Arsenal the first to 100?
- Everton v Arsenal: extraordinary figures seen in the last 6 games table
- Everton v Arsenal: how this referee treats the home and away team
- Everton v Arsenal and the oddity of referee behaviour