By Tony Attwood
‘Arsenal to make audacious swoop for Suarez’
Roll up roll up all the nonsense you want to have. Suarez plays for a club quite rightly banned from transfers because of its child trafficking policies, and Arsène Wenger says that we are not signing anyone, and so we get that headline. Oh what fun.
Here’s more fun too…
Per Mertesacker and Laurent Koscielny are fit.
But still there is time for Arsenal to change their mind (about signing no more) it seems, including not only in the infamous Suarez but also Valencia left-back Jose Luis Gaya.
The fact that we have just bought a player who can play left and right back and already have Debuchy, Gibbs, Monreal, Chambers and Bellerin – plus Kos if needs be, who can play in the full back position doesn’t seem to be of importance,
But Gaya is 19, and according the Daily Excess “is one of the brightest defensive prospects in Spain, and Wenger is understood to be keen on activating a £13.5m release clause in his contract.”
Of course it is tough at the end of the window with a manager saying “unlikely to sign any more” to whip up the enthusiasm for the final seconds, especially with Sky removing its sex toy programme on transfer deadline night. So now we have the “no transfer” transfer news.
And so, in Portugal, the agent of Jackson Martinez (“one of Europe’s hottest properties”) has said he is sitting still and not moving. So there.
Now I don’t think we ever wanted Jackson Martinez but that didn’t stop one rather over excited gent in the, err, well, gents, saying
Jackson Martinez hands Arsenal transfer blow
Anyway he plays for Porto who are in the Champs League so apparently they won’t sell. Even though he is “one of Europe’s hottest properties”
Maybe we should run a competition on how overexcited one can get by a piece of no news. Try this as the basic standard model.
“Arsenal have been dealt a blow by the Colombian hotshot’s agent after he revealed the player would not leave Porto in January. And to make things worse for Arsene Wenger, Henrique Pompeo added his client is keen on a Serie A switch, not a move to the Premier League. He said: “He has his heart set on Italy and if he were to leave Porto then Serie A would be his first choice.”
So it is all over. Forget Alexis, Theo, Giroud, Gnabry, Welbeck and the up and coming Chuba Akpom, we need a guy who scores goals in the Portuguese League.
(Competition point: name five clubs in the Portuguese top division. As a clue I’ll give you Sporting, Benfica and FC Porto. No cheating by looking on the interWeb).
But Mikel Arteta has signed a new contract for another year taking him up to June 2016, so can’t go to Everton who were said to have wanted him again. He’s apparently not one of Europe’s hottest properties but injury free is very useful for Arsenal indeed. And he’s only 32 unlike Tomas Rosicky who is an amazing 34!!! Shock horror!!!
But still we can have last minute hijacks.
Now “Hijack” is an interesting word because it gets people who worry about such things all worked up over its origins
But if Tottenham are lackadaisical what are Chelsea? A nice 19th century word for them would go down well on this cold and snowy morning in the midlands.
However I meander. Chelsea are “reported to be looking to hijack Arsenal’s bid to lure Sergio Ramos away from Real Madrid.”
Now that doesn’t mean Arsenal have put in a bid. Because in that sentence above we have
- Report (= give a spoken or written account of)
- Looking to (= rely on someone to supply something)
- Hijack (= illegally seize while in transit)
- Bid (= offer during an auction or similar event)
- Lure (= tempt)
(courtesy of Oxford English Dictionary)
“Chelsea have given a spoken or written account of relying on someone illegally to seize while in transit an offer during an auction to tempt Sergio Ramos away from Real Madrid.”
Arsenal look set to miss out on the Newcastle United midfielder Moussa Sissoko after the Daily Star reported keeping the French international as one of John Carver’s main priorities for the Magpies.
You can work that one out for yourself.
Jackson Martinez hands Arsenal transfer blow – Click right for some positive striker news
Arsenal have been dealt a blow by the Colombian hotshot’s agent after he revealed the player would not leave Porto in January. And to make things worse for Arsene Wenger, Henrique Pompeo added his client is keen on a Serie A switch, not a move to the Premier League. He said: “He has his heart set on Italy and if he were to leave Porto then Serie A would be his first choice.”
In case you still want more here are some bits of tripe from the last two days…
- Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United are ready to move for Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus
- Arsenal Remain Interested In Daniele Rugani
- SHOCK for Spurs as Arsenal set to replace Szczesny with Lloris
- Hamsik to become ‘world-class’ after making £20m Man Utd, Chelsea or Arsenal move
- Arsenal Plotting Audacious Swoop On Tottenham For£25m Star
- Napoli reportedly prepared to lose Arsenal&Liverpool target Gonzalo Higuain
Dont You Just Love A Sentence In Which Every Word Starts With A Capital?
I could go on but I am losing the will to live, so I’ll end with my favourite
Campbell, Podolski & Sanogo exits leave inconsistent Arsenal light up top
All three have in fact gone out on loan, and any or all of them could come back for next season having picked up games or changed their style. Meanwhile we have in the forward department, as I mentioned
Giroud, Theo, Alexis, Welbeck, Gnabry, Akpom. Gnabry by the way seems to be fit again. Add to the fact that you can’t keep players who you don’t play, and anyone else brought into the forward line at the moment is simply not going to break through that collection.
An occasional burst of realism is, of course, too much to ask.
Anniversary of the Day. Ever got bored by Tiny Totts telling you that Arsenal bought their way into the 1st division in 1919? We’ve covered that in great detail on the Arsenal History Site, to prove it is totally false, but the anniversary of the day is one of the classic moments…
31 January 1919: “The Sportsman” reports Tottenham’s letter to league clubs which admits that there are no league rules for deciding on how the league should be expanded for the 1919/20 season.
What criminal acts will BBC football pundits suggest should be used against talented footballers tonight? Find out on Match of the Day at 10.30pm on BBC1.