By Tony Attwood
I must confess at once that I didn’t write that headline – although I wish I had. It came from News biscuit – a wonderful satirical site, and one I’d recommend to anyone with an off centre sense of humour.
The point of their piece is that
Representatives of Europe’s biggest Christian groups had said that they were against a winter World Cup on the grounds that it would overshadow the build up to the annual festival, popular for about the last 2000 years, but FIFA President Sepp Blatter argued ‘Compromises will need to be made. There’s no reason why a religious festival celebrated by millions around the world shouldn’t be moved.’
Christian leaders travelled to Switzerland to explain why they believed it would be sacrilegious to change the symbolic birthday of the son of God. But after a meeting at FIFA’s headquarters, they emerged looking mollified, reassured and wearing gold Rolex watches. ‘There is no reason why we can’t be flexible about the date of Christmas’ said Pope Benedict, as he climbed into his new Rolls Royce with Qatari number plates. His holiness explained that he would continue discussions with two ‘FIFA consultants’ in the back of his new car, one blonde, the other a brunette.
Ho ho. It appeals to my sense of humour anyway.
And that view is probably closer to the actual reality of football at the moment than what the children are writing in their daily papers at the moment. Here’s our old chums the Daily Telegraph on 27 February. (That’s yesterday unless you are in Australia in which it is the day before).
Arsenal news: Jack Wilshere suffers fresh injury setbackArsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere has undergone ankle surgery, manager Arsene Wenger has revealed, in new injury blow.
The implication of that, if you had not heard any other news, was that Jack was out for another long spell. “Ankle surgery” and “injury blow” convey that message without actually saying it.
The Independent got a bit closer to the truth…
- Jack Wilshere injury: Arsenal midfielder will have more surgery on ankle and is set to miss next three games
But really we needed to read what Arsene Wenger actually said to understand what has been going on…
Jack Wilshere had a little surgery to take his two buttons off his ankle because they were irritating him but it’s a very minor procedure. He’ll be out for a few days. It was irritating his ankle and they had to take it off.
When asked if this was another “setback” for Jack he said…
No, it was planned to be done at the end of the season. But because he had an irritation with it, we decided to do it now. It’s a few days.
And on when he will be back…
Next weekend will be a bit quick. I don’t know exactly. It’s days, not weeks.
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