The Arsenal Management Committee made up of blogmasters from the around the world (except me – they wouldn’t let me play and took the ball away), has made radical changes to the club.
As I exclusively revealed just before I had the last drink, Arsenal supporters now run the team and the club, in the style of Ebbsfleet. Thus in a move that has been dubbed Hamstergate, all the players have been told that they may no longer bring pets on the team bus. Morris Dancing outside London nightclubs has also been banned.
As a result of this Arsenal will today play their under 3’s side at Manchester City, being as they are without Fabregas (who is playing with his collection of football cards), Walcott (who was attacked by Lord Kitchener’s foot soldiers), King Kolo who has an injury, Gallas who is, in the words of Monty Python, obviously not the Messiah but simply a very naughty boy, and Eboue, who is, as we noted during the week, Eboue.
In a radical move everyone will be captain, each ordering him (or her, in case we draft in any members of the highly successful ladies team) self about in a peremptory manner. All except Djourou and Cliche who will remain utterly calm, cool, and by and large the sort of people you wouldn’t mind having a chat with in the pub on a quiet night.
Again as previously noted, the match will finish 15 minutes before the end to let the Management Committee get away before the rush.
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