Arsenal FC in shock deal to buy anti-Arsenal blogs!!!

From – The Brickfields Gunners Blog
In a swift take over move that has shocked millions of Arsenal fans , the club has agreed in ‘principle’ to buy up/out almost all of the negative anti-Arsenal blogs in the Arsenal Sphere .
And that too for the bargain price of  a pittance, but at the same not forgetting  that a pittance isn’t worth what it used to be in back in the old days; what with the downward spiral of global currencies and all. Very much like nostalgia . Think about it!
With this decisive and masterstroke, nearly all of those anti-Arsenal propaganda has all but ceased , with some isolated pockets of resistance in South Asia  and SE Asia where hackers abound. Mopping up will will soon get rid of Them.
Many hospitals all over the world are reporting that their emergency and high dependency units are being swamped by hundreds of ‘Them’, who with the sudden withdrawal of their daily fixes are walking around in a confused daze.  They were confused anyway, but now its  total pandemonium. Going cold turkey is not everybody’s piece of cake, apparently.
There are also mildly disturbing reports that many of ‘Them’ have been killed or seriously injured by concerned citizens  and some rabid vigilantes who had mistaken ‘Them’ for zombies! Many had been secretly  stockpiling weapons in preparation for a zombie apocalypse .
Meanwhile life in UA and other AKB sites seem to go on as usual in its sane and methodical way. Most of us knew that this drastic action was inevitable as too many younglings’ minds were being corrupted by this overwhelming infestation of abject stupidity .
The first inkling was when this innocent sounding report appeared in the press –
The first clue was there was clear for all of us to see and decipher –
‘Arsenal bought StatDNA, the US-based football data analytics company with a massive workforce in east Asia, for £2.165m in December 2012 but, for the second successive AGM, Gazidis did not mention them by their name. Instead, he referred to AOH-USA LLC, which is how the limited liability company was registered in the States. AOH stands for Arsenal Overseas Holdings. Arsenal are reluctant to divulge anything about StatDNA’s methods but it is clear that Mr Gazidis believes their means represent the club’s secret weapon.’
Suddenly all of the fake stats were outed and factual and comprehensive stats began to circulate . The ostriches had no choice but to parrot them , which made all their articles more farcical and paradoxical than normal.
Also,  apparently out of the blue, Arsenal players were being shown in their true light with Ozil and Bellerin topping most of the European charts for assists and touches .
Next the cannons were turned against those filthy, lying and unrepentant dregs of the Arsenal universe – the ‘Them’ blogs and ‘Them’ lying through their teeth ostriches. ‘Silent’ Stan ( known as ‘ De Silencer ‘ in his younger days), made Them an offer that they couldn’t refuse, however derisory it was . He had in his possession ‘certain’ dirt about their lives and activity by means of his internet firm of ‘observers ‘.
The next phase will be to clean out the Augean stables which will be an Herculean tas, where ‘certain’ secretive organisations will have all that sh*t cleared out for good and soon will be smelling of roses .
Keep reading this blog as we will reveal all as  and when they unfold .
I, The Brickfields Gunners, pledge myself that no untruth shall knowingly pass my lips .
My hands, however, are beyond my control!
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21 Replies to “Arsenal FC in shock deal to buy anti-Arsenal blogs!!!”

  1. Le Grove is not an “anti Arsenal” blog. It’s very positive at the moment and thinks we’re on course to win the Premiership. It does on occasions criticise Arsene, but on the whole is quite supportive. The comments section is a bit toxic most of the time, so is best ignored.

  2. Le Grove is not an “anti Arsenal” blog. It’s very positive at the moment and thinks we’re on course to win the Premiership. It does occationally criticise Arsene, but on the whole is quite supportive and written with genuine humour (rather than the snarky sarcasm seen closer to home).The comments section is a bit toxic most of the time, so is best ignored.

  3. From a U.S.-based regular reader– thanks for making my morning!
    I’m enjoying this current run as much as anyone.
    Keep up the good (humor) work!


  4. OT:

    Sorry. Volcano doing it’s thing in Costa Rica, not far from where Joel Campbell is from. But, if an emergency arises, it seems Alexis Sanchez is an expert on how footballers handle emergencies back home.

  5. Good article Brickfields, it brought a smile to my visage!

    One would hope that should there be a takeover of Le Groan, their two faced staff would be replaced and that the filthy contributors amongst their clientel would be binned.

    As for “Them” – not too many hiding places would remain!!

  6. @ bjtgooner – November 2, 2015 at 3:26 pm – Thanks . Some people are at pains to paint that bog as being rosy and truthful. Ain’t gonna work here . Most of us won’t forget the crap that has passed for fact by those blogs of limited intelligence and run by cretins . And that’s being disrespectful to cretins.
    We have been subjected to the vilest and viscous lies and untruths over the last 5 years or so . And now we are to believe that they were the push and inspiration to our present position ? Yeah right !
    And those black bin bags ? Whatever happened to those zany and funny guys ? They were a hoot , weren’t they ?
    In the meantime , I will continue to expose the stupidity in football with more exposes .

  7. Agree re. Le Grove. They are pretty middle of the road. If you want to see some quality Arsene bashing, look at Arsenal Truth.

  8. It could only happen to ‘them ‘ –

    A man walks into the doctor’s office and says: “Doctor, my name is Mark, and I’d like to be castrated.”

    “What? Are you sure about this? Why?” asks the doctor,

    “It’s something I’ve been considering a long time and I’d like to have it done” replies Mark.

    “But have you thought it through? REALLY through?” asks the concerned doctor, “It’s a very serious operation and once it’s done, there’s no going back. It will change your life forever!”

    “I’m aware of that and you’re not going to change my mind, so please book me in to be castrated or I’ll simply use another doctor.”

    “Well, OK.”, says the doctor, “But I’ll have you know that it’s against my better judgment!”

    So Mark has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

    “Hi there,” says Mark,”It looks as if you’ve just had the same operation as me.”

    “Yes, it seems like” said the patient, “as for me, I finally decided after 37 years of life that it was time for me to be circumcised.”

    Mark stared at him in horror and screamed, “Dammit, THAT was the word!!!”

  9. Clockendrider

    I’ve tried about twelve Arsenal blogs and have settled for five that I like. They all have different strengths and weaknesses, but I find them all supportive of Arsenal and I’ll always make my point when I see some blogger taking a cheap shot.I’ve even stuck up for Untold on Le Grove. If that’s “revisionist nonsense” then I put my hand up.

  10. @serge

    Like you, I too go to a few blogs and have my favorites too. Le grove was one of the 1st that I came across, and was absolutely put off by the negativity… And the comments session, much worst… Just my own experience~

  11. Its sad that satire is lost on many people ,but then again I gather that millions of others find it their cup of tea !
    So on the theme of DATA – useful or otherwise , here’s a great one.Enjoy ..or not !

    If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: “I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.” He sees things differently than most of us.

    Here are some of his gems:
    1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

    2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

    3 – Half the people you know are below average.

    4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

    7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    8 – If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

    9 – All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

    10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, …… But she left me before we met.

    12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

    13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

    14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

    15 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

    17 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

    18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

    19 – I intend to live forever… So far, so good.

    21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

    22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

    24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

    25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

    27 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

    28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

    29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

    30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

    31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

    32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

    33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.

    34 – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    And the all-time favourite –

    35 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

  12. And while many of us dream , others chose to moan ….,moan, moan , moan …
    And with suitable apologies to The Everly Brothers , here’s …

    Moan , moan , moan , moan ,
    Moan , moan , moan , moan
    Whenever I want you up in arms
    When I want to piss off you and all your chums,
    Whenever I want you all blue , all I have to do is
    Moan , moan , moan , moan

    When I feel my life’s not right
    And I want you out of my sight
    Whenever I want you all blue ,
    All I have to do is moan

    I can make you whine , and your lips taste of brine ,
    Anytime night or day
    Only trouble is, gee whiz
    I’m moanin’ my life away

    I hate you lot so that I could divide
    I love you sore and that is why
    Whenever I want you all blue , all I have to do is
    Moan , moan, moan , moan, moan .

    I can make you whine , and your lips taste of brine
    Anytime night or day
    Only trouble is, gee whiz
    I’m moanin’ my life away

    I hate you so ,that I could with pride,
    tell you off so and that is why
    Whenever I want to piss you off , all I have to do is
    Moan , moan moan , moan
    Moan , moan , moan , moan .

    Moan ,moan , moan, moan,
    Moan , moan , moan, moan,
    Moan , moan, moan ,moan,

  13. Just wanted to say that pride is still one of the emotions that seriously affects the lungs, so please be aware. 🙂

  14. Then again some dream big even when they are small –
    Little Larry has a great plan………..

    A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?

    Little Larry says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a
    billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore,
    give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in
    Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an
    Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen
    door in a hurricane.”

    The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible
    response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said
    and simply tries to continue with the lesson. “And how about you,
    “I wanna be Larry’s whore.”

  15. …lets hope this was the first of many articles from the mighty Brickfields!
    Write on ,write on brother Brickfields and long may you be the bane of “them”.

  16. @ Kenneth Widmerpool – November 3, 2015 at 7:04 am – Thank you ,and I do have a few ideas on how to flatten ‘them’ ! I too speak bullshit very fluently ! Cheers !

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