Seven new players coming in, one more leaving as Arsenal’s transfers hot up.

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Well, it has been another amazingly over-the-top week for what we are now learning to call the Early Stage Concrete Hacks, the gentlemen of the press whose arrested intellectual development allows them to develop a whole range of extraordinary tales about who is coming to Arsenal this summer and who is leaving.

And yes, the figures are staggering, for we now have no less than 51 players tipped in the last three weeks alone to be coming to Arsenal this summer.  I kid you not; fifty-one in three weeks tipstering!!!!  (That is more exclamation marks than the now renamed Liverpool? ever got at the height of their exclamatoriness).

We can also see (in the table below) the number of departures is now at nine, which leads me to wonder how on earth we are going to fit all these fit and exciting young men into a squad of 25.

[Steady on with the innuendo there, Sir H.  I know you toffs have a different moral code from the rest of us, but even so… – Tony]

Now before we go on I must remind you, dear reader, about what makes an Early Stage Concretian.   Such a person is likely to distort language, not use logic, doesn’t consider his own thinking, thinks in one direction only (in this case transfers), can’t cope with the process, only the start (“Arsenal needs a player”) and end (“Arsenal buys a player), is egocentric, and only considers one thing at a time.  To the Concretian every other person’s point of view is completely alien.

So, the introductions being made, here we have the complete list of Arsenal transfers as dreamed up by the Concrete Journalists of the Great British Press (and their chums in the bloggettas) so far, ahead of this summer’s “window”.

New entries this week are in bold red.

Player Position From Current status Also interested
1 Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Forward B. Dortmund
2 Carlos Bacca Forward Juventus 49 goal striker Real Mad buy back clause
3 Michy Batshuayi Striker Marseille £22m asking price Chelsea
4 Riechedly Bazoer Cen mid. Ajax Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham
5 Rodrigo Bentancur Midfield Boca Juniors Real Mad, Juve
6 Karim Benzema Striker Real Mad Involved in court case
7 William Carvalho Def mid Sporting Lisbon
8 Edinson Cavani Striker PSG He’d like to come
9 Ben Chilwell Left-back Leicester “Arsenal monitoring”
10 Troy Deeney Striker Watford WFC captain
11 Mario Götze Attack midfield Bayern Munich Flopped after Dortmund Liverpool
12 Goncalo Guedas   Wing Benfica Next C Ronaldo Chelsea
13 Raphaël Guerreiro Left-backmidfield Lorient
14 Alen Halilovic Attack midfield Barcelona Last season loan to Sporting Gijon,  
15 Rico Henry Full back Walsall Next Ashley Cole
16 Gonzalo Higuain Striker Napoli Man U
17 Zlatan Ibrahimovic Striker PSG Self proclaimed God Man U
18 Mauro Icardi Striker Inter Man C Man U
19 Odion Ighalo Striker Watford
20 N’Golo Kante Midfield Leicester Won the most tackles
21 Naby Keita Central mid Red Bull Salzburg
22 Toni Kroos No 10 Real Madrid £45m
23 Grzegorz Krychowiak Midfield destroyer Sevilla
24 Kalidou Koulibaly Napoli Signed and Sealed (Metro)
25 Robert Lewandowski Striker Bayern About to break the bank
26 Marquinhos Defen PSG Man U Man C  Chelsea and Bayern Munich
27 Riyad Mahrez Wing Leicester AFC considered him while at Le Havre
28 Kostas Mitroglou Striker Benfica “Happy in Portugal”
29 Arkadiusz Milik Striker Ajax
30 Henrikh Mkhitaryan Midfield B Dortmund Liverpool! Tottenham
31 Alvaro Morata Striker Juventus (loan) Real Mad Said to be the next one to happen AFC talking to Real Mad direct
32 Ruben Neves Defend midfield Porto
33 Kelechi Nwakali Midfield Reported as already having joined Arsenal WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool!
34 Domingos Quina Midfield Chelsea
35 Adrien Rabiot Midfield PSG Asked for a move, not liked by fans Chelsea, Man U
36 Rafinha RB Bayern Munich Metro utterly certain
37 Jese Rodriguez Forward Real Mad Surplus to requirements
38 Daniele Rugani   Centre back Juventus Can’t get a game. Man U
39 Riccardo Saponara Attack midfield Empoli   Liverpool?
40 Ryan Sessegnon Winger Fulham Liverpool?
41 Dominic Solanke Chelsea Chelsea want to keep him
42 John Stones CB Everton
43 Daniel Sturrage Striker Liverpool? “Will reportedly…” “Tried last year”
44 Jon Toral Attack midf. Arsenal (loaned to Brum)
45 Yaya Toure C Mid Man City
46 Arda Turan Attack midfield Barcelona   Struggled at Barca
47 Victor Wanyama Def. midf. Southampton
48 Julian Weigl Midf. Borussia Dortmund £20 million
49 Granit Xhaka Defend/ midfield Monchengladbach “Deal done” Chelsea.  Sources
50 Andriy Yarmolenko Winger Dynamo Kiev Tottenham Liverpool
51 Simone Zaza Forward Juventus
1 Alexis Forward Asking for transfer
2 Arteta End of  career
3 Debuchy Been on loan
4 Kieran Gibbs Defend Unhappy
5 Rosicky End of contract
6 Santi Cazorla Mid/For Back to Villareal
7 Mesut Ozil Midfield   Delayed talks  
8 Szczesny Goal Roma Happy in Rome
9 Walcott Wing State Aid Utd £20m On the verge
Thierry Henry Under 18 Accepted post
Up from the youth
1 Jon Toral Attack midf. Arsenal Loaned to Birmingham
2 Gedion Zelalem Attack mid Arsenal Loaned to Rangers
3 Chris Willock Attack midf. Arsenal Played in U21s.
4 Jeff Reine-Adélaïde Wing Arsenal Kept at Arsenal and not loaned

This is getting to be quite a list, and there is no sign of the names drying up.  Indeed if previous transfer windows are anything to go by the list will expand and expand all the way through to August 31.

Of course we must spend a moment contemplating the sad lives of these concrete journalists, whose view, “if it looks different it is different” was so ably defined by AJH recently on Untold.  Here’s what they have to say about our current squad.

No. Position Player Rumour status
3 DF Kieran Gibbs Leaving
4 DF Per Mertesacker Too slow
5 DF Gabriel Error prone
6 DF Laurent Koscielny New captain but too old
7 MF Tomáš Rosický Left
8 MF Mikel Arteta Left
10 MF Jack Wilshere To be injured with England
11 MF Mesut Özil Leaving
12 FW Olivier Giroud Being replaced
13 GK David Ospina
14 FW Theo Walcott Leaving to WHU
15 MF Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain Leaving to Southampton
16 MF Aaron Ramsey Prone to back heels
17 FW Alexis Sánchez Leaving
18 DF Nacho Monreal Had enough
19 MF Santi Cazorla Leaving
20 MF Mathieu Flamini Left
21 DF Calum Chambers Leaving
23 FW Danny Welbeck Injured
24 DF Héctor Bellerín Off to Barcelona
25 DF Carl Jenkinson Won’t come back
27 FW Serge Gnabry Can’t regain form
28 FW Joel Campbell Off to get more games
33 GK Petr Čech
34 MF Francis Coquelin  Made a mistake v Spuds
35 MF Mohamed Elneny
45 FW Alex Iwobi

Thus and hitherto, op cit and viz [what exactly does that mean? Tony] there you have it.

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23 Replies to “Seven new players coming in, one more leaving as Arsenal’s transfers hot up.”

  1. What did these pundits and experts do before they got their football media job?

    Made be they planted trees as in-

    There were two blonde guys working for the city. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

    They worked furiously all without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

    An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger,

    “I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what’s the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it in again.”

    The hole digger wiped his brow and signed,

    “Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.”

  2. Mr Wenger understand one thing you’re old enough,thanks for your work done,go peacefully, nothing new from you next season,we gonna cry the same Since Wenger is still at the club.He can’t sign big strikers like Cavanni,Messi,Lewandowski,Abumyanga,Neyimar,he’s just arrogant. What Arsenal doesn’t have to sign like six big names,I wonder why that boss is not sucked he bought the club????Listen get Diego sieomeon,we lost Gwadiola just because of that arrogant manager, Robert am Ugandan in eastafrica,lives in LusakaZambia.wait they will sign one or three players.Wenger is Arsenal problems nothing else

  3. Nice one , Charles , sounds like how most Government departments in my country function .
    The standing joke was that a new road gets built very quickly so that some politician can do the ribbon cutting official opening ceremony , especially near elections and with all the publicity and hot air .
    The very next day the long suffering public wanting to use this new facility show up , only to see that there are now excavators , tractors and other heavy vehicles , digging up the newly tarred road to lay the underground pipes , cables and what not !

  4. I like to think that AW and the club would want to get all the business of transfers done , long before the uncertainty of the EUROS in France .
    And BREXIT !

  5. Robert, if I may say so, it is always worth checking a little about the background of a site, and what its last few articles have said, before commenting.

  6. Good Morning, Sir Hardly Anyone (?) 🙂

    That Post and the the ‘Transfer List’ summary is a work of love. I have often thought of trawling through the rumours, counter-rumours and innuendos, and then discounted doing so for two reasons.
    First the sheer stupidity of some of the ‘eyeing’, ‘linking’, ‘closing in’ or ‘preparing a bid’ comments just makes me mad – secondly, it was too much work to produce such a list – so well done for taking the task on.

    I would, of course, prefer to avoid being tagged as a concretian myself, but the worry is that I do have personal views on some players in our current squad who I think are ace, some I think are adequate, and some I think are not pulling their weight – so I had better keep those to myself.

    After all, it is better that I am perceived to be a fool, than to write a concretian comment and confirm it. 🙂

    A very interesting Post – thank you.

  7. Perhaps I could add a couple of things to my previous comment.

    When typing ‘concretian’ auto-correct insists I intended concertina, but when Ii type concertina it allows it thru without a glance. Some form of word discrimination?

    Going against my earlier resolve to type nothing to avoid confirming I am a twit – I find it irresistible to admit that infuriatingly I lap up these bloody rumours, in the hope that one may be true, and the player concerned will be of the highest quality. Now that is foolish!! QED 🙂

  8. Brickfields

    Yep. Expecting Utd, Chelsea and City to spend well over a hundred million each, with plenty of other prem clubs spending massive amounts, and Real and Barca also to go a bit nuts.

    In short, things seem sure to become crazier the longer the window goes on, as precedents are set, clubs get more desperate, selling clubs look at other fees,etc.

    One strange plus is that it ought to be harder for City, Chelsea or Utd, especially Utd, to plunder rival prem teams as they used to.

    I’d love it if we can get whatever we want done early- and there may be a window of opportunity given those three big hitters all have new managers. Would be terrific to be able to avoid the later craziness and get to enjoy rivals struggling with it.

  9. In your list of current players I notice that before Alexis is leaving he has changed his squad number to 7 from the current number 17. 😉

  10. We went through all this last season and for the most part were disappointed. By that I mean Arsenal support generally.
    Alright, so we wont be signing another seven, but I’d be surprised if it was less than three more (not counting Granit). One more marquee star plus a couple of younger “to develop” fringe players.
    More of interest to me will be the ones leaving. Could be some surprises.

  11. Like HenryB, i do look at the rumours all the time, but being aware that they are just that, rumours and speculations.

    Then i can tick them off as 1:possible, 2:plain foolishness or 3:somewhere in between.

  12. Only slightly off topic but I note with disgust that the annual con trick played on Arsenal supporters by way of yet more newly designed shirts, has already begun.
    I look forward to the day when either the designers run out of ideas or the powers that be at the Emirates become too ashamed over the way that the most loyal of supporters are being rooked season after season.
    I won’t hold my breath though.

  13. Arsenal will stick to their policy of buying “top top” players and/or promising youngsters.

    Looks like Xhaka is a “done deal”. Not sure that was the area we most needed reinforcing? Let’s see what happens next?

    Other concern is the Euros and Copa America.

    I reckon that the following could all be called up:


    Maybe not as bad as it could have been?

    And at least we won’t have a CL qualifier…

  14. We don’t seem to hear much about Financial Fair Play anymore, is it still a factor or is it dead in the water?
    Tony, we had an oik award, how about a weekly Robert Award for the silliest comment.

  15. It really, really frustrates me how many people actually believe each and every-single transfer story that they read on “Goonernews” or the likes. You see people commenting on each story like; “Why the fuk is Venga going for him, when we know xyx is available, because xyx is about to purchase him??! Stupid, blind, arrogant Venga at it again!!”

    I remember at the start of last season, people over on JustArsenal were absolutely crucifying Wenger for letting Chelsea get Pedro and how because of that they will certainly dominate the league. Do they not pause and think for just one second, that maybe, just maybe; they actually know very little about managing/running a football team? It’s either short-term memory, arrogance, stubbornness or plain-old stupidity.

  16. Lets hope Xhaka is a done deal and we add a striker and defender to the ranks nice and early. After all, 100 million in TV money can be spent without touching our famous cash reserves.
    I totally agree about the ridiculous nature of transfer rumours – seems to be a journalistic loophole which allows them to knowingly publish untruths. I suspect labelling them rumours gives them free reign to print anything and they are happy to take advantage of fan’s hope in order to make money.
    I don’t know why so many are averse to spending though? We can be ultra sensible and have the following years operating costs in place, we can omit the CL money just in case of non qualification, yet we can still spend 50/60 million net every season. Easily.
    Stan Kroenke has made over a billion from our player sales and frugality. He could easily have granted us an interest free, long term loan to cover our debt in 2006. Instead, we had to sell, sell, sell to make the debt manageable. When will the fans realise the real problem at Arsenal? This problem is not going away. Doesn’t make a difference who is manager – unless we massively overachieve, we will never win the title as long as economy is the prime target.

  17. I thought we were finally going to get hold of Kalou after all these years trying…. 😀

  18. It look like its bye bye LVG and hello Moaninho at ManU. Next season it will be interesting with the top managers in the world all competing in one league.

  19. @ GoonerDave, copy from Arsenal annual accounts. The Board’s strategy.

    ‘The Board are committed to a self-sustaining business model within which the funds generated by the business are available for further investment into the Club with the aim of achieving an increased level of on-field success which ultimately translates into the winning of trophies.’

    Arsenal want to be ‘self-sustaining’ club without relying on someone else for financial assistance. In my opinion this is a good thing, as when the billionaires one day decide they are no longer interested in football, at least Arsenal can survive on its’ own.

  20. A Robert award for silly comments – yep I’ll go with that.

    And meanwhile it looks like Alexis is not leaving !!!!!

    The Telegraph has just said…

    Arsenal launch new kit and appear to confirm Alexis Sanchez’s future at the club

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