We don’t need new players, we need new pundits. Only four new Arsenal transfers this week.

By Tony Attwood

I remember being taught at school that the Stone Age ended when we ran out of stones, so I suppose the Transfer Window ends when we run out of sand, soda and lime.

But although that merciful release might still be 47 days away, there are real signs of strain as this edition of the Index has only four new players being signed by Arsenal.

One of the interesting developments this week is that the departure of Thierry Henry over the issue of whether he can do TV as well as coach is portrayed throughout as Arsene Wenger’s fault but not Thierry’s.  Seemingly his contract makes it quite clear that regular TV work during the season beyond the duties obligated by the Premier League is not allowed, and Thierry wanted to change his contract.  Somehow that universally becomes Mr Wenger’s fault.

The total number of players on the move vis a vis the first team is

  • Arriving at Arsenal: 80 (the number goes to 81 because “13” was cut due to a duplication.  I’ll sort it out next time).
  • Leaving Arsenal: 19

Yep, it looks like we really are running out of stones.

Here’s Kenneth’s link on how the media works is most certainly worth watching if you have a spare half an hour.   It has a bit of Buffalo Springfield in it too.  You really should try and find the time (and that comment about a snatch of music is trivial, compared to the importance of the message).

Part One: Players coming in.  New entries and significant changes are in bold.

Player Position From Current status Also interested
1 Takuma Asano (浅野拓磨) Forward Sanfrecce Hiroshima is 21 and has played 50 times Signed
2 Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Forward B. Dortmund Being urged to leave Man U
3 Carlos Bacca Forward Juventus 49 goal striker Real Mad buy back clause
4 Michy Batshuayi Striker Marseille £22m asking price Chelsea
5 Riechedly Bazoer Cen mid. Ajax Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham
6 Medhi Benatia Centre back Bayern 29 years old prone to injury
7 Christian Benteke Striker Liverpool? Only done one year at Liverpool?
8 Gabriel Barbosa Santos 54 goals in 148 appearances
9 Rodrigo Bentancur Midfield Boca Juniors Real Mad, Juve
10 Karim Benzema Striker Real Mad Involved in court case
11 Daley Blind Defence Man U
12 Sofiane Boufal Forward Lille £25m after one year in France Barcelona, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid
11 William Carvalho Def mid Sporting Lisbon
12 Edinson Cavani Striker PSG He’d like to come
13  Players don’t wear 13!
14 Ben Chilwell Left-back Leicester “Arsenal monitoring”
15 Troy Deeney Striker Watford WFC captain
16 Julian Draxler Left wing Wolfburg £43m offer made. No, £54m Liverpool sniffing
17 Mario Götze Attack midfield Bayern Munich Flopped after Dortmund Liverpool
18 Goncalo Guedas   Wing Benfica Next C Ronaldo Chelsea
19 Raphaël Guerreiro Left-backmidfield Lorient
20 Alen Halilovic. Attack midfield Barcelona Last season loan to Sporting Gijon,
21 Marek Hamsik‘ Attack midfield Napoli His father is demanding more money
22 Rico Henry Full back Walsall Next Ashley Cole
23 Gonzalo Higuain Striker Napoli Man U, Liverpool?
24 Rob Holding Winger Bolton £1.5m already signed Still suggested as a future signing in June
25 Elseid Hysaj Right back Napoli Staying at Napoli
26 Zlatan Ibrahimovic Striker PSG Self proclaimed God Went to Man U
27 Mauro Icardi Striker Inter £32m bid made Wife says they need the money
28 Odion Ighalo Striker Watford
29 Chiori Johnson Defender Aged 18, Signed pro forms
30 Jorginho “Strongest midfielder” Napoli Neil Banfield likes him
31 Stevan Jovetic 2nd striker Inter 1st mooted two years ago
32 N’Golo Kante Midfield Leicester Won the most tackles
33 Naby Keita Central mid Red Bull Salzburg
34 Toni Kroos No 10 Real Madrid £45m
35 Grzegorz Krychowiak Midfield destroyer Sevilla
36 Kalidou Koulibaly centre back Napoli Signed and Sealed but… Dependent on Chambers going
37 Alexandre Lacazette Forward Lyon French League top scorer 2014.15 To WHU but suddenly Arsenal
38 Robert Lewandowski Striker Bayern About to break the bank
39 Jordon Lukaku Left back Oostende Told Mr Wenger how to manage!
40 Romelu Lukaku Striker Everton Broke Everton’s PL scoring record Offer of £38m made
41 Sadio Mane Winger Southampton BBC say he’s gone to Liverpool
42 Kostas Manolas Centre back Roma Maybe to Chelsea
43 Maycon Midfield Corinthians new Ronaldo or Neymar or both.  Or neither.
44 Marquinhos Defender PSG His brother says AFC want him Man U Man C  Chelsea and Bayern Munich
45 Riyad Mahrez Wing Leicester £25m Considered him while at Le Havre
46 Kostas Mitroglou Striker Benfica “Happy in Portugal”
47 Arkadiusz Milik Striker Ajax
48 Henrikh Mkhitaryan Midfield B Dortmund Went to Man U Liverpool! Chelsea, Tottenham
49 Alvaro Morata Striker Juventus (loan) Real Mad “About to happen” Snubbing Chelsea for Arsenal
50 Jeison Murillo Central defender Inter Columbian Talks have started Bayern Munich and Zenit
51 Ruben Neves Defend midfield Porto
52 Nolito Striker Celta Vigo £13.8m buy out clause
53 Kelechi Nwakali Midfield Diamond  Academy Already joined for £3m WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool?
54 Quincy Promes Winger Spartak Moscow
55 Domingos Quina Midfield Chelsea
56 Adrien Rabiot Midfield PSG Asked for a move, not liked by fans Chelsea, Man U
57 Rafinha RB Bayern Munich Metro utterly certain
58 Jese Rodriguez Forward Real Mad Surplus to requirements
59 Ricardo Rodriguez Left back Wolfsburg £20m
60 Maxi Romero Forward All Boys, Argentina The new Messi We were going to sign him last year but he got injured
61 Daniele Rugani   Centre back Juventus Can’t get a game. Man U, Everton, Napoli
62 Riccardo Saponara Attack midfield Empoli Liverpool?
63 Ryan Sessegnon Winger Fulham Liverpool?
64 Djibril Sidibé Full back & midfield Lille Cover at full back “Now gone to Monaco, Arsenal too slow”
65 Moussa Sissoko midfield Newcastle £35m
66 Islam Slimani Striker £23.25m Sporting Lisbon   £23.25m Tottenham, Leicester
67 Dominic Solanke striker Chelsea Chelsea want to keep him Arsenal preparing to steal him
68 John Stones CB Everton
69 Daniel Sturridge Striker Liverpool? “Will reportedly…” “Tried last year”
70 Neven Subotic Defender Borussia Dortmund Has left training to talk to Arsenal
71 Yaya Toure C Mid Man City
72 Arda Turan Attack midfield Barcelona 29, and wants to stay Struggled at Barca
73 Robin van Persie Forward Fenerbahce “We’re waiting for buyers”
74 Jamie Vardy Forward Leicester £20m Signed but kept it a secret or he’s off to Liverpool
75 Thomas Vermaelen Centre defence Barcelona He’s fit again
76 Victor Wanyama Def. midf. Southampton
77 Julian Weigl Midf. Borussia Dortmund £20 million
78 Granit Xhaka Defend/ midfield Monchengladbac “Deal done”  He signed. Chelsea were rivals but failed.  
79 Andriy Yarmolenko Winger Dynamo Kiev Tottenham Liverpool
80 Simone Zaza Forward Juventus
81 Karl Zouma Keeper Chelsea
Part Two Departures
1 Alexis Forward Juventus bids made Asking for transfer Agent trying to get move
2 Arteta End of  career
3 Bellerin Full back Barcelona Looks certain to go But also denied
4 Joel Campbell West Ham
5 Chambers Centre back Southampton or Watford? 1 year loan
6 Debuchy Been on loan
7 Mat Flamini midfield End of contract The last Highbury player to leave AFC
8 Kieran Gibbs Defend Unhappy
Olivier Giroud Forward Napoli Part exchange For Higuain
9 Isaac Hayden Centre back Newcastle
10 Laurent Koscielny Defend Bayern End of contract Not end of contract
11 Per Mertesacker Defend Considering his future
12 David Ospina Goal Besiktas
13 Rosicky End of contract
14 Santi Cazorla Mid/For Back to Villareal
15 Mesut Ozil Midfield Delayed talks
16 Jon Toral Midfield To Granada
17 W. Szczesny Goal Roma Happy in Rome Returning to AFC.  No, staying as part of Manolas deal
18 Theo Walcott Wing State Aid Utd or Liverpool? £20m On the verge; or maybe not going
19 Jack Wilshere Midfield Man U They will build the team around him
Part Three: Coaching
Thierry Henry Under 18 Left over TV issue
Tony Adams Under 18 5 week trial
Part Four: Up from the youth
1 Stefan O’Conner Defender was with York To Maastricht  
2 Gedion Zelalem Attack mid Arsenal Loaned to Rangers
3 Chris Willock Attack midf. Arsenal Played in U21s.
4 Jeff Reine-Adélaïde Wing Arsenal Moving into first team
5: Players going on loan
Dan Crowley Midfield Arsenal Coventry Actually gone to Oxford
6: Young Players leaving
Ilias Chatzitheodoridis U-18 no new contract
7: Players signing pro forms
Donyell Malen
Tyrell Robinson West Ham
Joshua DaSilva

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Arsenal, March 1932: return to form, another semi-final, emergency signing, the pressure starts to tell

29 Replies to “We don’t need new players, we need new pundits. Only four new Arsenal transfers this week.”

  1. Tony,

    I think you need to add Tafari Moore into the list of players on load. He is currently in Utrecht on trial Snead of a season long loan. Tafari is a promising right back and regular U21 starter from last season.

    Also Jon Toral’s move to Granada is a loan not a permanent mover.

  2. Sounds like Sir Hardly anyone to me.

    Kids Joke.

    Chicken goes into the library and says:

    ‘Book book book.’ the librarian gives the chicken a book. The chicken puts it under a wing and leaves.

    About 10 minutes later the chicken returns, throws the book on the floor and say:

    ‘Book book book’ book under wing leaves. 10 minutes later returns. book on the floor and

    ‘Book book book.’ This time the librarian follows it.

    Out the library to the crossroads. Cross over and into the park. At the pond the chicken holds up the book and says:

    ‘Book book book.’

    And the frog says:
    ‘Read it read it read it.’

  3. @ colario July 15, 2016 at 8:58 am- A croaking …..sorry cracking good one !

  4. Here’s an old favourite of mine .

    A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies.

    “Oh, come on…” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.”

    “No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog “what does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers.

    The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience.

    “No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you. ” He turns and asks the dog: “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog.

    And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.

    And the dog turns to the guy and says “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?”

  5. And Tony , just why do we need pundits at all ? Are they like braille for those cannot see for themselves or understand what’s going on the pitch ?
    Do they in any way enrich our enjoyment with their opinions and observations ?
    Just imagine how much money the stations could save by cutting off this crap .
    I hear some are being paid up to 4 Million Pounds to basically, well, to regurgitate ……. !
    Wow ! That’s half of AW ‘s pay !
    Damn !

  6. Pundits whoa!!! Owen is about to make his perennial prediction: ‘arsenal will finish 7th in the league! Guess what he gets paid £4m and Wenger gets attacked on the basis of Owen’s whimsical conjecture. Who ostend the problem here? Slow fan? Gullible supporter? Stupid fan? Maybe all of the above. There would be no pundits if there were no stupid fans who need wordsmiths to interpret what everyone of can see clearly. One commentator per game to just give uninitiated viewers names of players, match officials, stats and background info. Period!

  7. Keniaji, I do love comments like this. There’s no evidence, no backup, no background, just a rejection of what we do. OK, that’s fine, because none of us involved ever thought we could possibly appeal to everyone. But I will tell you what really, really bemuses me, and that is that having the strong views that you do have you then

    a) come onto the site – which of course you are most welcome to do
    b) take the time to write to us – knowing that of course it won’t change what we do
    c) presumably knowing that we get 6 million page views a year, and that while some of those are most likely from people like you who don’t like us, quite a lot of people do seem to come back a lot.

    It’s a funny old world

  8. Lots of good jokes after an article tongue in cheeck.
    Keniaji also a contender for joke of the day I think 😉

  9. Also reports on BBC football gossip of Joel Campbell being given notice by Arsene to look for a new club, which is complete contradiction of earlier (January) gossip that he was being offered a new £60000 per week deal.

  10. BREAKING NEWS: Arsenal FC have announced they will certainly not be signing B. Johnson this summer or any summer, although the Daily Tale runs an article to claim “what a mistake Wenger has made,again”.
    Other “sauces” say Johnson is undergoing therapy to find if there are countries outside Britain, (he was shocked to find some are only 22 miles away-how can this happen “shurley its just endless fog” said Johnson?)and how life is beyond 1950 and matrons roly poly and getting told off by the Headmaster.
    “Higuain” spotted at London Colny for a medical,and the Yeti was spotted having a chat with the Loch Ness monster,Bigfoot and Lord Lucan( to those younger readers,Lord Lucan was a celebrity Chef, famous for his”stuffed baked beans” recipe, Elvis and Glenda Slagg and the Gunnersaurus up at a shed in Enfield.Denis Bergkampf was said to be there too this was reported the Daily Tale, and it was “all Wengers fault” they claim.

    And in small print from Citizen Kane:


    Plus, RIP the Dinosaurs,its been 65million years, doesn’t seem a moment ago.Always in our thoughts. “its not so” said the Gunnersaurus to various “sauces”.

    And, “Higuain” is a done deal according to certain “sauces”.And global warming doesnt exist,but dont worry because something will be on the telly later.Plus, sign the petition to have Armageddon now!Its big laughs apparently,we can spend 350 Million a week on it instead of funding other countries.

    Why did the Baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a turd!

    More later.

  11. Thierry Henry knew the terms of his contract and he has got off with it for some time. I’m glad Arsenal has called a halt.

    The fact that he was also employed by Arsenal and yet making all these negative comments about Arsenal as a pundit gave them undeserved credibility. It also can’t have helped his work at Arsenal that he was publicly airing his views.

    Perhaps he has now learned that even someone revered as a hero when he was a player is not indispensable.

  12. Offer of employments so often than not are always subject to Terms and Conditions. TH needed where to undergo his coaching training. Arsenal offered him a place for that based on their T&C. TH offered not to receive any salary but does not want to abide by the T&C. No ground for mutual agreement. TH has the choice to seek somewhere else for the coaching badge. End of story.
    Why all the fuss?

  13. Brickfields
    I’ve got planty of jokes for you , unfortunately most of mine are probably unsuitable for public consumption.
    The more sensitive posters are encouraged to stop reading now.

    What percentage of women have problems achieving orgasm?
    Who cares!

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    Nothing. You’ve already told her………., twice.

    little Johny comes home from school and says to his dad;
    Daddy, I learned two new wards today but not sure what they mean exactly.

    What are they?, asks the father.
    One is pussy, and the other is c.nt.

    The father takes his son into the garage , reaches in behind the tool rack and pulls out a Penthouse magazine. Opens it on a centerfold, takes a pencil and draws a circle around model’s vagina and says;

    Look here son. The thing inside the circle is a pussy. Everything outside of it is a c.nt.

    A drunk comes to a whore house and asks for a girl that’s very kinky.
    The lady who runs the joint takes one look at him , sends him to a room and tells him someone will be up shortly.

    She realizes that sending any of her girls would be a waste of precious resources, so she cracks open the door to his room and pushes in a blow up doll.

    Nex day the drunk comes back again and asks for the same girl.
    The manager, somewhat bewildered, asks why.

    The drunk replies:
    I’ve seen some kinky shit in my days but this girl was tops.
    I just bit her on the nipple a bit and she farted and flew out the window.

    And now a racist joke.

    What’s this?
    fee fa fo – fa fa fo fee

    Some black guy’s phone number.

    And just to show I’m an equal opportunity offender, a Polish joke.

    Why did a bunch of Polaks drown at the river bank?
    They thought the were auditioning for “The River Dance”

  14. I don’t know about you, but i get a sense of many vultures circling around the “weak” and “wounded” prey, just waiting to “relegate” it to the lower depths. 🙁

    They calmly prewrite the epitaths like:

    “Alas, they failed to spend money, oh what a shame”.

    and gathered nightly to discuss their strategies on how to destroy the victim.

    Of course they(the vultures) see Arsenal as the victim and are even working together to “put them out of their misery”.

    Still, we all are waiting for the sublime to happen and to see a fighting Arsenal, even though the rumours and talk that got through to the subconscious puts a twinge of apprehension in the mix.

    Come on Arsenal.



    It’s too early.


  15. Pat
    I think you’ll find that Henry was not employed by Arsenal at all and had no contract, although you may have other info to prove the contrary which I’ll defer to.
    He was youth coaching as part of his UEFA A licence and (as far as I can make out) was not paid anything for this work, or should he have been.
    He was however offered a full time role, dependant on him quitting Sky due to the conflict of interest which would have been created, and I’d say his offer to work free of charge was more likely a method of negating having two employers, but was turned down anyway, so he sensibly stepped down.
    No controversy and good judgement by both Wenger and TH was the most logical outcome.
    In my opinion, of course.

  16. @ WalterBroeckx – July 15, 2016 at 10:51 am – You’re right , there are more and more jokers joining in the merriment on here .Very much to the disdain of the self appointed hall monitor ! Anyway , welcome all ye jocular posters ! Happy Mirthday to you all !

    @ Kenneth Widmerpool July 15, 2016 at 11:57 am – One day the pundits will go the way of the dinosaurs too ,and only be found stuffed in museums . Or on dart boards ! The good news is that since they all have bloated egos and are all so full of it , they won’t need any more ‘stuffing’ , least of all, Paul Merson and Alan Brazil !

  17. Sort of a joke for you.

    Remember that the infant replacement of the bladderbird removed the independence of the FIFA corruption committee? Well, there was a news article that the FIFA corruption committee was intending to interview the infant one to “investigate” new corruption claims.

    Employee: I would like to interview you over corruption allegations.
    Infant: Okay.
    Employee: How do you like your coffee?
    Infant: Black, one sugar.
    Employee: Here you go, your coffee. Well, it seems these claims are unfounded. Thank you for your time.

  18. Confusion on the weekends –
    ‘I think I promised to have 3 beers and be home by ten .I always get those two mixed up !’

  19. ‘ A camel can work for a whole week without drinking . A man can drink for a whole week without working .’

  20. A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
    The reporter didn’t quite hear the message and said, “Would you repeat that?”
    “Not if I can help it,” replied the woman.

  21. Tony
    You may have noticed an increasingly shrill and hysterical line in the worst blogettas to the effect that our EPL rivals are buying all the top strikers, and AW keeps getting beaten in the negotiation stakes.

    According to the BBC website, the only strikers to have moved so far are:

    Ibrahimovic to Manure
    Jordan Ibe to Bournemouth
    Pelle to Shandong
    Nani to Valencia
    Nolito to Man City
    Batshuayi to Chelsea
    Mkhitaryan to Manure

    …and a couple of these like Mkhi are actually midfielders albeit he scored a lot of goals last season

    Clubs who have top strikers are just hanging on to them ….or putting fantastic transfer fees on them e.g. Benzema, Morata, Higuaín, Lukaku etc

    Even players like Janssen who has only one season in the Eredivisie has gone to the Spuds as Kane’s back-up for nearly £20M.

    I would love AW to get a good quality CF to support Ollie, but in a sellers market it will continue to be tough.

    Walter, in your recent post, you are quite right about the curse of Social Media – what should be a powerful communications tool, is in many situations morphing into a medium for mindless ranting and even hate of those who dare to have a different opinion. And, of course, much of this ranting is done with the protection of anonymity.
    With UA, there are topics which can divide the audience, but by and large people accept that others can have different views and opinions
    Keep up the good work

  22. @Barry L
    If you want to read ‘increasingly shrill and hysterical ‘ have a look at Le Grove today.
    It’s unbelievable the hatred that site, both writer and commenters, has for Arsene Wenger. I normally do not go near that site but what I read there today was disgraceful from so called supporters.

  23. Tony Attwood

    “Keniaji, I do love comments like this. There’s no evidence, no backup, no background, just a rejection of what we do.”

    All very true. But put downs like this and you personally, would have a little more credibility if, when somebody did come back at you with, ‘evidence’, ‘back up’ and ‘background’ you had the decency to answer them.

    Just saying.

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