There is no open window, but there are ten transfer rumours for Arsenal next January

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Now normally I take the honest working man’s regular holiday – September to December, February to May – but quite ludicrously Untold has demanded that I work in October and write a column all about transfer type things.

Well!  I mean, “Well!”

And to my utter surprise the transfer rumours have not stopped even though we are literally months away from the window being oiled, let alone being opened.

But it is a new run up, and so I think that what we ought to do with the next round of transfer rumours is note the date when they first emerge and add this to the great transfer index.

So off we go on  6 October 2016.

Part one: Going away from the might Arsenal to pastures new.

1: Per Mertesacker will go to Hannover, who are in the German second division.

2:  Héctor Bellerín was tipped over and over and over and over again to be leaving in the summer but he didn’t so why not recycle the old rubbish and say he is off Manchester City, no  Barcelona, no both of them at once.

Part two: Staying put

3:  Mesut Özil has made it a condition of his staying that he will have Jack Wilshere’s No10 shirt as part of the contractual what not.

Part three: Not within a million miles of the Ems

Robin Van Persie has declared that he himself is “open to everything … whether it’s in England, Turkey or wherever”.  It is suggested that he has been told that the UK has already left the EU and so he can’t get back in.  Although Tottenham might take him as they are not part of the UK.


Part four:  coming in

Arsenal have 25 players in their squad of 25 (a rarity these days) and so can’t just take any old player who comes along.  But that has never troubled the press….

Hoffenheim defender Niklas Süle who is a centre-back and played in the Olympics.  Tottenham and Liverpool also want him.

Celtic have Moussa Dembélé, and Karamoko Dembélé and it is said AFC want both of them at once.  The latter is 13 but is playing for the under 20s.  Real Madrid and Bayern Munichare also want him.

Real Madrid midfielder Isco is certain to come either to Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur,

Álvaro Morata is also going to two separate places at once – in this case both Chelsea and Arsenal.  We should have had him in the summer but our lazy stupidity meant we didn’t.   He is at Real Madrid and isn’t playing for them in the Champions League which is a SURE SIGN.

Ezri Konsa is 18 and plays for Charlton and is going to Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Man C and Man U.

That is, I am sure you will admit, not a bad way to start the transfer whatnot with almost three months still to go.  Whatever will they think of next?

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6 Replies to “There is no open window, but there are ten transfer rumours for Arsenal next January”

  1. Off topic I’m afraid Sir Hardly but good news from the Ladies who have just finished their WSL league game against Doncaster Belles finishing with a five nil win. Probably not enough to overtake Chelsea for second place – a case of too little too late. Two goals from each of Danny Carter and Natalia and a 25 yard lob from Kelly Smith.

  2. Sir Hardly, you must be living a very sheltered life not to anticipate rumours and counter rumours between Transfer Windows.
    Personally, old cynic that I am, I’m looking forward to the 1st February 2017, when the pre-Summer stuff begins.
    Not only will there be transfer fiction but Arsene’s potential successor will occupy all our minds. (And also Big Sam’s,perhaps!) 😉

  3. Poor Sir Hardly, Having to come back from your holiday. But when Tony the boss calls, you better listen 😉
    And thanks for keeping fools like me who don’t read the transfer talk up to date. It seems I’m not missing much by ignoring them…

  4. Nicky, I don’t think toffs like Sir Hardly mix with the people in the real world. That article was written in St Tropez and in the prelude which I cut, he was complaining it was getting chilly.

  5. @ nicky – I think that the moaning one has more chance than AW to be England’s next manager . All he needs is to get himself sacked at ManUre ( not impossible !) and for the England team to under perform ( Bingo ?) and the love fest with the press will start !

  6. I read one transfer headline today that really baffled me : Arsenal failed in attempt to land £80m striker.
    I thought wow, had Arsenal really put that kind of money on the table, and who didnt we get for that sum of money ?
    After reading the article, I found that the player in question was Higuain. And my first thought was, is he worth 80m ??? I wouldnt even want him for half that amount of money. But the strangest thing in the article was that the President of Napoli fc said that : “We were not ready to sell him – for me Higuain was not for sale.” How is this then a failure from Arsenal’s point of view. They asked and were told that the player is not for sale. For me the headline dont tell the story at all. Did we actually bid 80m punds ? Did we put in a bid at all, if we were told the player is not for sale ? Wonder how many other clubs failed on one or two transfers this summer ? Liverpool ? (No Klopp doesnt put a foot wrong), United ? (No they are the biggest club in the world, noone says no to them) or Tottenham ? (No they got their man, Vincent Jansen is worldclass for sure!)
    But the fact is still : Arsenal failed in attempt to land £80m striker.

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