Insanity Day meets April Fool. Come and watch Arsenal reserves

Two things have happened… one involves Mr T Henry, one involves UEFA/FIFA.

Mr Henry first.  According to Square Football today 1 April he will sign for Tottenham.  Given that today is 1 April, one presumes that this is an April fool.  But given that Square Football is not above posting some very strange pieces without any hint of post-post-ante-pre-modern irony in them, I wonder if they actually believe it.

The other is UEFA//FIFA have started to make a big fuss about the size of the squads some of the more important teams in the EPL have.   This one I did believe was an April Fool story, but then I realised that the turnips that control Insanity Week actually believed that this was an issue.

So, because they are very silly, and because none of the newspapers that reported the story actually got the answer right here it is.

The larger clubs have larger squads so that they can cope with Insanity Week.

So far we have lost three players who were more than likely to play against Manchester Arab on Saturday all through injury, and it is more than likely that Carlos Vela won’t play because he’ll be jet lagged.   Worse we will now have a second of games tonight.  On the basis of what has happened so far, we will lose another three or four, meaning that for the next home game we will play four first team players, and the rest will be reserves.

If I were running things at Arsenal I’d change the programme and those funny little notices around the stadium that tell me I can’t park outside the tube stations to read “Next match: Reserves v Manchester A.

To find out more I snuck back into my old hunting ground, and listened into the conversation between the football editor, and one of the lesser beings that inhabit the building..

“Ere, McGreggor, that story we ran across the back page saying Walcott was going to Real Madrid.”

“Yes boss?”

“It never happened did it.  He is still at bleedin Arsenal.”

“Yes boss.”

“Well – how do you explain that?”

“March 15th joke boss.  Old Fleet Street tradition.  Always make up stupid stories the stupid punters believe on March 15th.”

“And March 16, March 17, March 18, March 19, March 20, March 21…”

“You got the idea boss.”

“I see.  Why don’t we employ that kid who writes Square Football to work for us.  He’d probably do it at half the price we pay you.”

“Can’t do that boss.  He never knows where to draw the line.”

“All right, but what about this story that Tottenham are going to build a 58,000 seater stadium with the fans right up close to the pitch, and manage to do it all – planning permission, financing, building, all from scratch by July 2013, and they are then going to fill it with 28,000 more season ticket waiting list people who don’t actually exist (because the club puts is members automatically on the season ticket waiting list whether they like it or not.”

“April Fool, boss.  Caught you.”

Copyright lots of silly people, Planet Frog, April 1.