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June 2021

A radically different approach to reviewing the Arsenal v Brighton game

By Stevie Bee

A game of one half if ever there was one. Izqueiŕdo how it actually wasn’t settled until midway through the second half, the Knockaert blow ultimately being landed Bruno-style by AFC’s Iwobi.

In the first half, it was all Arsenal apart from one moment when B&HA stole a March on the sleepy AFC free-kick wall, hitting the post with a real Suttner of an effort, emulating SuperLac’s fizzer off the woodwork for AFC in the opening minute.

AFC’s opener had a touch of pinball about it, before Monreal put the ball past B&HA ‘keeper Ryan despite Stephens’ desperate lunge.

Before half-time and the chance to Dunk their Hobnobs in a mug of tea and also share a bag of Murray Mints to keep up sugar levels, so lacklustre had B&HA been that many in the ground wondered if teenage B&HA substitute Molumby had, behind manager Hughton’s back, been passing around a Bong in the dressing room prior to kick off.

Duffy was booked for a Gross challenge on Alexis. Such cynical tackling will land him squarely in the Brown stuff with opposing teams if it carries on. It will need some Pröpper officiating to cut out this type of foul.

AFC should have been out of sight, but only on the final whistle could it truly be said “that’s Schelotto for today” and 3 points in the bag. Anything other than a win would’ve been Krul on AFC. We most hope that the return fixture at the non-Goldstone Ground will see slightly more clinical finishing from AFC.

Arsenal vs the Hove Albion

10 comments to A radically different approach to reviewing the Arsenal v Brighton game

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I’m glad that they got no change from our Cech , who blanked them out totally.
    And that Rob was Holding our defence line very well and ably.

  • colario

    Oh Doctor Brickfields
    How with words you like to play.
    And I would think not just to day but everyday.

    It happened one fine sunny day.
    The cricket commentary from Australia way.

    We heard the men of cricket intellect agree.
    ”The batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willy”.
    Sometimes phrases like these happen in commentary.

  • Menace

    In the words of the Trump -Good Job!

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Alas Charles , never a truth spoken in jest ,
    My addiction to humour is a true bitch .
    Never sure about the rest ,
    but no full toss will be ever tapped down the pitch !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Holding, Roberts ,Croft and Marshall did fear in batsmen Garner ;
    While Greenidge, Haynes , Richards and Lloyd tore asunder .

  • Brickfields Gunners

    It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

    Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

    The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

    ‘Oh, sister,’ said the young nun dreamily, ‘I’ve been saved.’

    ‘Saved? And how did that come about?’ asked the old nun.

    ‘Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.’

    ‘Did he now?’ said the old nun evenly.

    Sister Magdalene continued, ‘and Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.’

    ‘Is that a fact?’ said the old nun even more evenly.

    ‘At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.’

    ‘That wicked old bastard, said the old nun. ‘He told me it was Gabriel’s Horn, and I’ve been blowing it for 40 years!’

  • Brickfields Gunners

    A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
    the woman behind the counter and said,
    ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife. ‘
    ‘ What type of bra?’ asked the clerk.
    ‘Type?’ inquires the man, ‘There’s more than one type?’
    ‘ Look around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
    ‘Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.’
    Relieved, the man asked about the types.
    The saleslady replied:
    ‘There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
    Which one would you prefer?’
    Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
    The Saleslady responded, ‘It is all really quite simple.’
    The Catholic type supports the masses;
    The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
    The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
    The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.

    Oh and h ave you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

    If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
    {A} Almost Boobs.
    {B} Barely there.
    {C} Can’t Complain.
    {D} Dang!
    {DD} Double dang!
    {E} Enormous!
    {F} Fake.
    {G} Get a Reduction.
    {H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

    OH ! They forgot the German bra.

  • Gord

    OT: Name Games

    Jurgen Klopp upon finding out he has Amish ancestry, has decided to change his given name to Klip.

    ManU’s Nemanja Matic has said that he wants to change his given name to Otto.

    Real Madrid star Gareth Bale, said that he is thinking of changing his given name to Timothy in order to help the Real Madrid marketing in Japan. Timothy is a preferred kind of hay for horses there.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Gord -02/10/2017 at 8:32 pm – Nice one !
    And Mikey ought to change his name to Ripley – Believe it or not ! Most of us here are usually astounded and confounded by the antics of his ‘usual suspects’.
    Their uncanny ability to bend rules is notworthy ……err, noteworthy ?

  • Jay the Nigerian Gooner