Suddenly the transfer scene has woken up with an explosion of stories. We have names!

By Sir Hardly Anyone.

Just as I was about to take a couple of weeks in the south of France with the jolly old yacht being airlifted from Rutland Water to Monaco (which of course I know isn’t in France but I’m not one for details), so I am asked to write another column because Arsenal has AWOKEN.

The key to it all is that Mesut Ozil has been offered a salary of £14,300,000 a year, which gets to almost 25% of the income of my old friend Boris Johnson, to stay at Arsenal.   At least that is what it says in Red London (a bloggetta), and the Daily Mirror.

And after months of derision and statements about Mesut not being worth 50p a week Red London now calls him the “brilliant 29 year old”.  Actually I’d like to be called a “brilliant 29 year old”.  Or come to that just a “29 year old”.

Mesut will have to choose his currency of course because Soccerisma is telling us that the offer is actually $20,800,000 a year, which makes the £1 work $1.42.  On that basis Mesut should take it in dollars because my banker is telling me that as of today £1 is only worth $1.33.   Those few cents could pay for his holiday on one of the moons of Jupiter.

But of course these things are never fully straightforward as we are told by the Express that “Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez will still leave Arsenal even with Europa League win – Smith.”

Now the use of the word “smith” at the end might look a bit confusing, and you may be thinking that the paper that found a baby’s toy on Mars is now asking the men who shoe the horses and were the powerhouse behind the Viking invasion of Britain in the 8th and 9th centuries, have now taken an interest in football transfers.  But this Smith is Alan Smith, a commentator who once played for Arsenal but was then kicked out of the ground for writing critical comments about Arsenal players while under contract to Arsenal to do articles for the club magazine.

The Daily Star is saying that it is Mr Wenger who is  “attempting” to keep Ozil at Arsenal, not the club,  but then since the main news on its front page today is that “Baywatch Babe Iskra Lawrence shows off eye catching assets in plunging bikini” one can make of this what one wants.

Now there is the suggestion that there might be a transfer in the offing with the headline “Record equaling (sic) striker opens door to complete Arsenal transfer in January” in the but that publication does its usual thing of playing all sides against the out rim of reality by telling us that the transfer is an out rather than an in with “Olivier Giroud opens the door for a potential January exit from Arsenal” and that “Giroud is keen to play regularly and will consider Arsenal exit in January” while also telling us that “Arsene Wenger has ruled out the possibility of allowing Giroud to leave the club.”  A sort of non-story as we used to call it.

So it is all around the houses for no apparent purpose.   Which leaves one contemplating that with under 20 days to go until the window swings open (note it swings open but slams shut, it is important to get these things right), is there no other transfer news around apart from Goncalo Guedes who we covered in the last little piece on transfers?

Well maybe there is because the Transfer Tavern, a popular bloggetta, is running “2 players who could follow Goncalo Guedes to Arsenal in January”

Now this piece starts of disappointingly, with “Arsene Wenger is currently the longest-serving manager in the Premier League, having been appointed back in 1996.”  And I wondered, don’t these publications have editors who scream and shout at junior journos to “make it start with a bang you ignorant cretin”?  That’s how it used to be in my day.   Of course I’ve had a knighthood since then, so they can’t talk to me like that any more.  Actually newspapers don’t talk to me at all, which is even better.

Anyway, apparently “many fans [are] putting it down to the lack of consistency within their ranks, as star players Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez have gone missing.   So, with improvements required, reports have emerged suggesting that Arsene Wenger is looking to secure the services of PSG loanee Goncalo Guedes next summer with a £26 million deal.”

And no, there is not even a pretence at inside information here.  Instead we get “here’s a look at 2 other stars who could potentially follow Goncalo Guedes to the Emirates.”


It’s depressing stuff, but I pressed on and found the  Mirror actually has a piece about Steven N’Zonzi under the headline “Arsenal ‘agree £35.3million deal for Sevilla midfielder.”

However Pain in the Arsenal (a bloggetta) says “Arsenal: Demand of Steven N’Zonzi exposes transfer policy”  This is largely a moan about the fact that we didn’t sign Mahrez from Leicester rather than the next transfer, which seems a bit passé as we say on the yacht, but after seemingly hundreds of overlay adverts have been negotiated we get to the point: “The January transfer window is a perfect place to start and already we’ve been linked with players such as Leon Goretzka and Steven N’zonzi.”  It took a while.

Anyway, lets go “run the ruler” over these players as the tabloids love to say.

Steven N’zonzi is French, and plays as a defensive midfielder for Sevilla.  Before that he play for the awful Pulis and then the equally awful Hughes at Stoke.   He cost Sevilla £7m in 2015 and last month made his debut for France having played six times for the under 21.  He’s 28.

Emil Peter Forsberg is 26, he is Swedish and he plays for Leipzig on the wings getting promotion with them and playing 31 games last season in the league scoring eight.

Meanwhile apparently we are still in there trying to get Thomas Lemar but the Express has the bad news that “Chelsea to ambush Arsenal and Liverpool approach for Thomas Lemar.”

So there we are and now you know.  The main thing to remember is that just like the transfers of Bellerin and Mustafi to distant lands last summer, none of this is true.

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3 Replies to “Suddenly the transfer scene has woken up with an explosion of stories. We have names!”

  1. It will be wonderful if at the end of the Oezil’s contract extention saga, Arsenal keep him after all. Which in itself will be a statement made by Arsenal they can keep hold of their star player if they want to.

    But what of Sanchez who is another star player at Arsenal? Despite his drop in form this season which every star player go through temporarily in their playing career of which Sanchez is not exempted, I don’t think Arsenal should let him leave the club in Jan or even in the summer but pin him down to extend his deal at the club. For, Sanchez is still a top quality attacking player worth holding on to by Arsenal.

    On the January incoming transfer front, if Arsenal stay in the top 4th, Carabao Cup win, Europa League Cup win and the PL Title win races up to the end of December in the case of the PL Title win and Carabao Cup win races, but if they continue to have centrebacks issue that could make their defense-line shaky and unreliable in that the Achilles Koscielny and the hamstring Mustafi will be missing games for Arsenal unabated with recurring injuries sideline at regular intervals during the season. Then, of course Arsenal should do a centreback singing in Jan to forestall being short in centrebacks during the crunch part of the season campaign. However, if Holding and Chambers can step up adequately to cover very well for Koscielny and Mustafi whenever any of them is down, there will be no need for Arsenal to do any centreback signing in Jan. And the fact that BFG and Debuchy if available, the need to sign a centreback in Jan by Arsenal becomes less likely.

    In the central attacking and holding midfield, I think Arsenal need to upgrade quality in that department of the team despite Jack Wilshere is looking to be swoly coming back into reckoning for a regular playing time in Arsenal team I. But we all know his case is delicate and needs to be handled with care. Xhaka Coquelin and ElNeny and the injury prone Ramsey are all in the central-midfield for Arsenal. But for Ramsey being injury prone and for both Xhaka and ElNeny not being of top quality but of medium kinds, as a replacement for Santi Cazorla, Arsenal will do with the signing one top caliber quality attacking midfielder in Jan whose effort for Arsenal should be complemented by Ramsey, Xhaka, Wilshere, Coquelin and ElNeny. That will bring the number to 6 senior team midfielders at Arsenal in Jan if Arsenal sign a new one. But the signing should not be that Thomas Lemar. But if Arsenal insist on signing him, his signing should not be at the purported £92m reported in the media last summer window. That media report has become history. I think £40m should do the business of Lemar signing by Arsenal in Jan. For, the stocks of Lemar are looking to have plummeted in my own observation.

  2. ‘” run the ruler ” – a quaint but not often heard little term from a former colony !

  3. Some more quaint humoyr from the same place .

    Please don’t drink and Drive during this festive period.

    If you want to drive safely … We can help. Please call us. We have senior experienced people of all ages.. 

    *Our volunteers will come and drink for you..!! You Drive safely* …

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