By Sir Hardly Anyone.
These are indeed tough days for the media as they desperately try to find more and more problems that are inherent in Arsenal. Take for example
1: The huge problem that scuppers everything or doesn’t depending on forgetting what you said last time around.
The Star tells us that Arsenal want THREE new players to strengthen the squad in the summer – but face HUGE problem. Blaming the Mirror as the source they say, Arsenal will be pulling out the punches to sign a new goalkeeper, a new centre-back and a new defensive midfielder.
“New head of recruitment Sven Mislintat, who aided moves for Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, has been given the task of finding the targets.”
But, oh dear, “it will have to be done on a shoestring budget, as a new kit deal will not kick in until the following season.”
Which is a bit curious because it was the self-same Mirror that ran the story, “Why Wenger should be applauded for running Arsenal at a profit – after all spending big doesn’t guarantee success.” They also ran the headline “Only in football could you come in for criticism for running a strong, successful business with impressive profit figures”
2: Jack is leaving, talks break down (Goonersphere)
Oh dear because the Telegraph recently ran “Wilshere close to accepting new Arsenal deal.” Maybe it was the booing of him by sections of the crowd that changed his mind. The Express had him about to sign a new contract last January.
3: Piers Morgan slams Arsenal (The Sport Reveiw)
Never mind, because most people around Arsenal really can’t stand Mr Morgan and would happily slam him. Mr Morgan himself was criticised from criticising Ariana Grande for failing to visit her injured fans in hospital like what the Queen did.
4: Express: Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger gives bizarre metaphor to explain poor form
Now when the Express starts to use big words like “Metaphor” you know we are probably all in trouble.
What Mr Wenger actually said was “You go up by stairs but come down by the lift.” It is what the Mirror calls a metaphor which actually it isn’t (it is a saying). “All the world’s a stage” is a metaphor because it compares one thing with another with the use of the verb “to be” in the middle.
To be a metaphor the phrase has to describe one person or object considered to have similar characteristics to another but which is not normally considered in this way. As with “The mind is an ocean.”
5: ‘No player on the planet that is worse’
This assessment of Ozil comes fromMesut Ozil the record-setting genius
This firm describes itself as a venture-backed media company based in India which is determined to change the way sport is followed across the globe. I am not too sure they achieve that aim with the headline “Arsenal going nowhere with shambolic Mustafi and Koscielny.” Does that really change the way sport is followed?
7: Gordon Strachan accuses Sky of turning up volume when fans boo
“Strachan suggested it was simply ‘100 people’ booing and when Shreeves insisted it was far more booing inside the Emirates, Strachan replied, “How would you know you weren’t even there.”
The broadcaster refuted Strachan’s claims and suggested the ex-Scotland boss was cynical
‘I am being cynical because the world is cynical because we know how that happens. Booing’s nothing.’
But a journalist passing a comment about a match he wasn’t even at???? Wow.
8: The Loose Canon.
The Loose Canon (TLC) describes itself as a “labour of love set up by the former FromTheTerrace managing editor and freelance Sky News football pundit, Joe Broadfoot.”
I wonder, when he set it up he realised that The Loose Canon is a Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was commissioned by the Second Council of the Olive Garden and is dedicated to St. John the Blasphemist, Saint of Freakin’ Awesome Holy Texts.
Pesky business finding insults.
- A howling comes across the sky. Reworking the past and laughing at Arsenal fans.
- Why Thierry Henry won’t get the Arsenal manager’s job
- Arsenal the most penalised by refs among the current top four teams
- Mykhaylo Mudryk now listed in 17 different articles as coming to Arsenal!
- Arsenal attacking problems… what attacking problems?
- Men’s football returns at last: Arsenal in action this afternoon
- Is the injury to Gabriel Jesus equivalent to the assault on Eduardo in 2008?