By Sir Hardly Anyone.
Football journalists love what in the olden days was called “browsing and sluicing” and is now called something somewhat more basic. Now many of them look like the warrior Tetraites, 30 years after retiring and having had several late nights out on the town. That is to say, rather gone to ruin.
Their job however is to write copy without a postscript, and indeed without facts, nor in fact without regard to the headline which is generally added later. But I like headlines, so have offered a few starting with…
Not arriving at Arsenal
This is a new category created by those who have been churning out the same rubbish for year on year and getting only 3% of their predictions right. Goal.com is ahead of the game with
Arsenal won’t sign world class players’ – Emery favouring ‘functional’ additions
So it’s over before it has started.
Mustafi was once seen standing on his left leg, and that just about did it for the commentators. For when the media get fevered about how bad a player is they find it hard to remember that much of the fever is simply the invention of their own minds. The fact that a lot of fans then go on to believe it all is neither here nor there.
So Mustafi is so bad, only a total idiot would think he was good, which makes it hard for the purveyors of tripe to understand why both AC Milan and Juventus fancy signing him – according to MilanNews.it repeated in Caught Offside. A bit of a problem for the bloggers that one.
Arriving: Maguire, Zouma and Dakonam
Leicester City defender Harry Maguire is still on Arsenal’s radar, according to
Arsenal are also interested in Chelsea defender Kurt Zouma and Getafe’s Djene Dakonam, who is a central defender who can double up at right back, but not at the same time probably.
Stay or Go Ozil
Arsenal star outlines plans to stay this summer – but should Emery cash in while he can?
Ramsey – do we need a replacement?
Well, the media said that a deal had been agreed by both sides for Ramsey to stay, and then suddenly Emery or Arsenal or maybe both changed their minds, cancelled the contract and told him he could leave. Which if true means that they already had someone else in mind to play in the Ramsey position – when picked. Which thus means that the headline, “From Aribo to Nkunku: The perfect Aaron Ramsey replacements for Arsenal next season” which appears in
Well! It is almost as if, far in advance of modern medical thought, these journalists have discovered that alcohol is a medicine.
Nicolo Barella not Chelsea but Arsenal
Barella who plays in midfield, was going from Cagliari to Chelsea, but then he wasn’t and now he can’t unless Chelsea get their transfer ban lifted. So we are back in for him on the basis that Arsenal “are believed to have had a scout in the Stadio Friuli crowd when the 22-year-old was in the Italy side that beat Finland 2-0”. And you can’t get more tentative than that.
Besides, apparently he has only had one goal and three assists in 33 games this season, and that doesn’t sound like a Ramsey replacement, so maybe he is replacing someone else. And the price tag is said to be £40million which at the last reports was our entire transfer fund.
Christopher Nkunku: ongoing
There was talk of Nkunku from PSG to Arsenal in January on loan and when new ideas run out it is always possible to pick up a few old ones. He also would be a Ramsey II – he turns up all over the place. And PSG can buy anyone they want, and they generally are happy to ditch players that Emery brought in. So maybe that was it. Emery found he could have Nkunku and so let Ramsey go.
Joe Aribo from Charlton
But hey if we can’t deal with PSG and the like because of the cost, maybe we can get Aribo who plays in midfield for Charlton especially as he is running his contract down. Some have called him a Patrick Vieira type player – but then he is playing in League One which makes it hard to judge.
And this is a Football.London story, so it might not be all it seems not least because this news item has not come to me as a rare and refreshing fruit picked from the tree, but more like a hit on the back of the head accorded by a sock full of wet sand. But then read enough transfer rumours and anything can feel like anything else. They have that effect.
- Arsenal v Tottenham update, team news and appalling, flagrant media bias
- Arsenal have benefitted by the world cup break: allegedly.
- Arsenal and Tottenham: which has had the easier ride so far this season?
- Arsenal v Tottenham: not exactly a battle of equals.
- Death by 300,000 passes: how the Arsenal transformation started 2 seasons ago.