Arsenal to slaughter 3 wild animals buy 11 players and keep one.

By Sir Hardly Anyone.

The Toppled Bollard is back open and the chickens are headlessly stumbling towards where the bar might have once been before it was locked down.  And headlessly seems to be the right word as we read the headline from Tribalfootball that “Arsenal hero Nicholas urges Arteta to cull three players.”   Mind you nothing much would amaze me in terms of what Charlie says these days.  But even so, culling seems extreme.

The three are “[Mesut] Ozil, Sokratis, [Shkodran] Mustafi” (their brackets not mine).  Comparing Arsenal players to wild animals that need to be reduced in number by selective slaughter, it seems to be particularly harsh on Mustafi who has been playing extremely well of late.   But then we all realised years ago that Charlie had given up watching football, so one can understand why he is out of date.

But speaking of wild animals ready to have their heads chopped, let’s meet the nation’s sports journalists and see what they have to say…

1: Dani Ceballos

“Arsenal are confident of being able to extend Dani Ceballos’ stay at the club for another season, say reports”  (Sports Review). AS says he is  ‘set to remain’ at Arsenal although we are also told his loan “reportedly cost the Gunners £15 million” although it didn’t (the clue is that no one will say where the money went in a way that makes any sense – and a lack of detail of always the clue that the tale is fantasy.)

2: Jack Grealish

“Arsenal are interested in a swoop to sign Aston Villa midfielder Jack Grealish, according to a report” (Sports Review again).  Two hints that this is not true.  One is the use of the word “swoop” and the other the phrase “according to report.”  The only thing less certain is news is a piece that says “reportedly”.

3.  Philippe Cotinho

You see this is what you get what the media start the transfer rumours in February.   But “Arsenal are at the front of the queue to sign FC Barcelona star Philippe Coutinho, according to a report” (There it is again, this time in Sports Review).  The Mail has “Arsenal signing this Barca flop in £27m-worth loan move seems like a realistic solution,” although to what I am not sure.  Not more culling surely.

4.  Willian

“Arsenal handed Willian transfer deadline as Barcelona make offer for Chelsea star”   That is in the Express, and is a set up for the next story that will tell us that Arsenal dithering has meant that Willian has gone to a Dutch club we’ve never heard of.  Although the Mirror has “Barcelona ‘make offer’ to Chelsea star Willian with Arsenal on transfer alert.”  (What actually does being on “transfer alert” mean?)

5.  Magalhaes

“Gunners face competition from United for Magalhaes,” says the Mirror.   (That is Gabriel dos Santos Magalhães, known as Gabriel; a Brazilian defender playing for Lille.)  

This is from the Mirror who tell us that Man U and Everton are close to a deal with the player having visited each club earlier in the season.  Cue “Arsenal dithering losing chance of valuable player” headline.

6.  Pondering

“Brighton show interest in Ainsley Maitland-Niles as Arsenal midfielder ponders his future” says the Mail before telling us that “Arteta is an admirer of Maitland-Niles, which was emphasised when he played the academy graduate in the FA Cup semi-final win over Manchester City.   But there is concrete interest in the midfielder which could lead to Maitland-Niles having a big decision to make.”

The implication – Arsenal doesn’t make decisions, decisions are made by players and other clubs.

7.  Stoned

Another Daily Mail set up for an Arsenal dithering story, with the headline “West Ham ‘leapfrog Arsenal in £20m chase for Manchester City defender John Stones’ ”  The Star has “Arsenal transfer blow in John Stones pursuit as West Ham ready £20m swoop”.

8.  George Lewis

“Arsenal ‘hoping to wrap up’ George Lewis deal following Chelsea clash/Willian latest” says 101 Great Goals, telling us that Lewis is a 20-year-old winger, born in Rwanda, playing in Norway’s 3rd division.

The story is only partly mashed by the player becoming a teenager part way through the report.   He can play on either wing and has trained with National League Solihull Moors, according to Football London, and he’s had a trial with Ipswich, and is now a free agent.

9.  Jack Grealish

The Boot Room say he might be on the way from Villa after Robert Pires compared  him to Bergkamp, according to the Boot Room.  The price is £80m.  “Arsenal throw hat into the ring for£80m English playmaker” says Footy Extras.

10. Ricardo van der Laan

The Daily Canon cites “O Jogo” as the source of the tale that Arsenal are “eyeing a move” for this goalkeeper.   Now that might seem strange, although as he is only 17 and is thus “one for  the future” as these journo types love to say.

What is interesting is that the article recognises that we have Matt Macey and Dejan Iliev at the club already but “you can’t see Macey and Iliev sticking around much longer.”  Except that is exactly what Martinez has done, and look where that’s got him!

11. Said Benrahma

He’s with Brentford, and his is ‘flattered’ “to see himself linked with a summer move to Arsenal”.   He’s an Algerian international, and a 24 year old winger.  One might ask how many more wingers we need.  The story is in liga financial.

12.  Bring back the oldies

Dayot Upamecano’s transfer to Arsenal has been doing the rounds since before we played as Dial Square but that doesn’t stop liga financial from picking up the story as if it is new.  Old ones are the… well, what journalists trot out when they stayed too long at the Toppled Bollard.

And that’s it for another transfer review.




One Reply to “Arsenal to slaughter 3 wild animals buy 11 players and keep one.”

  1. On a more brighter note that is contrary to all the above purported incoming signings by Arsenal this summer as rumoured by the media. But nevertheless, I want to ask Arsenal if they would want to add a 3rd senior specialist striker of a proven top League 20 league goals per season to their on ground 2 specialist strikers in Aubameyang and Lacazette? And if Arsenal therefore deem this my enquiring to be a very suitable ask as a result will act on it to do so this summer as a possible viable option to improved on their 2 on the ground strikers goal poaching capacity takings next season in the PL considerably. Which from all seeing was short of the expected goals scoring by the duo Arsenal strikers last season’s campaign in the Premier League. Then, I will suggest to Arsenal to seriously consider their signing of the Rangers FC prolific goals scorer last season Alfredo Morenos 24 at £18m transfer signing fee payable to Rangers FC to get him. If Mikel Arteta the Gunners boss and the AFC hierarchy officials view what I’ve tailored to them as appropriate and correct, they should then as quickly as possible do this Morenos incoming transfer to Arsenal business this summer by hijacking his probable transferring from Rangers FC to the Ligue 1 outfit club side Lille. Who are reported to be seriously hovering over the striker and circling around him with every intention to swoop him of his feet to themselves this summer. But Steven Gerald the former Liverpool ace and captain that is the current Rangers FC manager who at one time massively contributed to prevent Luis Suarez from coming to Arsenal which consequently saw Arsenal former manager, Arsene Wenger’s quest to sign him for Arsenal ultimately killed. But Steven Gerald could again rekindle his anti-Arsenal posture and stance to convince Morenos not to come to us the Arsenals but go to Lille instead. But Arsenal should not worry nor bother themselves on any Steven Gerald’s anti-Arsenal antics to hamper Arsenal in the transfer market this summer. For, Morenos could decide to choose Arsenal over Lille and this will negate any Gerald’s anti-Arsenal attempt to stop Arsenal motive.

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