How to speak nonsense: a guide to being an anti-Arsenal journalist

By Tony Attwood

It goes on day by day, week by week.   Sometimes it is ignorant, sometimes deliberately attempting to be disruptive, sometimes misleading, and just occasionally with a hint of a possible development.  But it is always there.

Take this one: Emile Smith Rowe warned he ‘doesn’t deserve’ to be in Arsenal team despite Leeds goal 

You might find that one a spot strange, since Emile is our top scorer at the moment, but the manic scribblers of the Express think it is worth reporting that an ex-Liverpool player (Steve McManaman in this case) says this.  In fact, if one reads his complete ramble he seems to be confusing even himself, for he says, “To be honest, all of them that are playing and starting at the moment, their place is set in stone isn’t it. That’s Arsenal’s best XI there that we saw today.”   

Which is quite different from saying Emile “doesn’t deserve” to start.  He can most certainly deserve to start but be left out because of tactical reasons and the performance of his colleagues.

Of course, it is possible that Mr Arteta wants to use Smith Rowe in the forthcoming league cup quarterfinal game this week by way of reintroducing him to a full game, and giving some of the regular players a break.

In our second example we have another Express story, but this time it is Ian Wright calling for Sky Sports reporter to apologise for ‘disrespect’ over Arsenal star 

The players in question are Swedish forward Dejan Kulusevski and “midfield conductor Arthur”.  Neither has been playing very well, and Arthur not getting regular games.

But allegedly Marca (the Spanish daily sports paper) are claiming that “Arsenal are preparing winter offers for both, with the Gunners understood to have already made contact regarding Kulusevski, whom they would be willing to fork out around 29.5 million euros plus add-ons for.

“In the case of Arthur, Mikel Arteta has expressed interest in the gifted Brazilian’s signing owing to Thomas Partey’s imminent departure for the African Cup of Nations.”

Now cover for African Cup players is a worthy consideration, but a player is for a contract, not the duration of the African Cup, and which player worth that amount is going to come to Arsenal just to get a few games for a few weeks?

Elsewhere the Boot Room as the inevitable negativity with a spot of covid news as Mikel Arteta confirms double blow for Arsenal, following win at Leeds 

That is to say that Lokonga and Pablo Mari have tested positive for covid.

Trying to pull all the rambling together, the fact that we would need to sell a foreign player before we can buy a foreign player does give a bit of credibility to the notion that Aubameyang could be used in an exchange deal for a replacement player.

Certainly we have been scoring ok without him, and the notion of playing Smith Rowe as the number ten means we could continue to use Lacazette as the centre forward, even though Laca doesn’t score many.  Defences certainly get pulled around by Lacazette, which gives other attacking players more space.  So maybe a swap deal is an option.

6 Replies to “How to speak nonsense: a guide to being an anti-Arsenal journalist”

  1. Interesting. Klopp going verbaly after Tierney after the game. Remember Wenger being banned ?
    Wonder what will happen now. It’s on video, the Guardian is writing about it.

    Maybe the incompetence we have been denouncing here will start to become a real issue and something may be done about it ?

  2. Well I guess if Arthur the conductor doesn’t get his move to Arsenal he could always get a job with TfL…

  3. A good example from Garth Crooks in The Mirror:

    “He (Saka) is the most consistent Arsenal player at the club and has been for the last season and a half and the reason Arsenal find themselves flying high,” the 63-year-old said.

    “I find it unbearable how such an ordinary team keeps getting these results. It’s unbearable.”

    Well Garth, I find it unbearable how a fool such as you can earn a living talking such crap, but you do. I suppose that’s life.

  4. @nitram I thought Garth Crooks was dead. Must be just be brain dead – like the vast bulk of the so called “experts”.

    Is it just me or are the “experts” watching a different game/sport to me? I find their utterances annoying at best and downright lies / fabrications most of the time. Like you I find it unbearable that someone who spouts such rubbish gets paid for it.

  5. @Nitram,

    Yeah. I guess that means Ramsdale, Tierney, White, ESR and others are not consistent…. ?
    Arsenal ought to be renamed Sakanal ?
    What an incompetent idiot. let’s give hime that : he is consistent in his incompetence and idiocy.

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