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By Sammy The Snake
Snooping around Sp#rs Blogs
Oh Lord… Not you Tony!
Oh Lord… Not you Arsene!
Oh Lord… Yes, you, Big Man!
Oh Lord… Forgive me for I’ve sinned… I’ve been to the other side, and it wasn’t pretty… I’ve seen the darkness… I’ve smelled the sewage… I’ve been among the brain-dead… I’ve looked stupidity in both eyes and have felt a chill down my long spine. I’ve been among scum… Lord, I’ve been to Sp#rs Blogs… I think I’m losing all my senses. Lord, save me from this disgrace… I’ve put shame on my family, my neighbors, and my fellow Gooners… Lord, help me towards the path back to the light. Amen!
With Sp#rs’ recent relative success, of course “relative” in their own tiny world, I’ve been wondering what’s been happening in the land of utter blindness. How big is Harry’s ego by now? Do the tiny Totters really believe in their own myth? Does Billy Gallas believe it when he says “we can win EPL now”?! Are they that deluded?!! Has their head grown even bigger with last night’s qualification to the next round of Champion’s League?
First on Google results was Beef Bagel, how about “Sh!t Sandwich? Two articles, one with a single comment (dated 3rd November), and another article with no comments (dated 30th November). The blogger has started to catch up when he starts a blog by saying “Maybe I don’t have to say anything because I’m not sure anybody’s reading anything here now”. You got that right!
Moving on to THBN… Latest article is dated 1st of December. That’s your serving of left-over dog poop! The least you can do is to dish out some new sh!t to people! Again, it looks as if hardly anyone ever reads this stuff. A 19th of November (the day before Arsenal-Tots at Ems) article states:
“Unfortunately for Arsenal, we have two elements they don’t have, Rafa van der Vaart and Gareth Bale. I suppose the late possible introduction of Jermain Defoe could also add a spiced up cheer in the changing room, but for now, Van der Vaart and Bale could be the key to our first away win at the Emirates.”
Well, fortunately for Arsenal, we have Cesc, RVP, Nasri and Chamakh, with a side of Arsh and Theo! And a splash of Jack for desert! But looking beyond our rivalry, the blogger called it partly correctly. Bale and introduction of Defoe made most of the difference. Let them have this one, the earth can rotate backwards once every 17 years or so.
I’m looking for some fresh stuff about recent games or events, so I click on sp#rswebguide. Only to see stuff for sale, and a list of Sp#rs blogs. Aha! I’ve hit the mother load. Or have I?
I visit The Sp#r (oddly at www.thequake.cm). Two short articles on the last night Champions League and many other short articles on other games. Surprisingly, the articles aren’t regular. Little excitement, short on support, and nothing to pull the reader back to the blog. They have a link to “that match against Arsenal” (the italics provided by them, I just bring the message), somehow keeping faith with little results that goes their way once in a blue moon.
Losing patience, and Sammy isn’t generally known for his patience, I try my luck at TopSp#rs. On top of the page, I see “The greatest football team on this earth” and I explode with laughter (you may not know this, but it’s an extreme case for snakes to laugh), and I know this isn’t going anywhere.
As the song said, I can see clearly now the rain has come. I think I’ve decoded the Sp#rs lock, and I get it. It’s quite ordinary, really! Simple minded people with no idea about football support this team. They aren’t bad people, they aren’t harmful. They just don’t know any better!
On another note, Samir’s such a scoring snake! More of the same, Samir, bring more for ManU!
Sammy The Snake
Warning: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!
Political note: if you are a UK resident and you agree that it is wrong that government funding should be cut while Vodophone, Topshop, BHS, Dorothy Perkins, Barclays Bank, and most recently Cadbury, should avoid UK tax by utilising tax loopholes that the UK government refuses to shut down, please visit UK Uncut
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