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Snooping Around Nude Cuban Football Hotties On The Beach
By Sammy The Snake
You simply had to click on this one, didn’t you?! The title just jumped out of the page, and you couldn’t resist, right? In fact, I was only referring to fat old men lighting up Cuban cigars and watching football on the beach, but your mind led you to other places…
Sex sells. Controversy sells. Saying the most outrageous opinion attracts attention. The blog with the most outlandish article gets the clicks, and then the blogger gets to brag about the number of visitors (no pun intended, Tony!). Newspapers have found how Joe Public’s brain is attracted to filth, and they feed it (just take a look at The Sun, News Of The World, and the rest of them).
Gone are the days when the average football fan had a few buddies to dish out his opinions to. Now everybody’s a blogger. Everyone talks on a universal platform, and we all think we know it all. The most courageous have established their own opinion shop (read blog) on the internet, the less savvy find their way to express an opinion here and there once in a while, posting comments like a pro. Everyone’s a writer these days… look at me!
Then there are the Dirty Pricks, those who are in need of attention. Their mothers didn’t love them enough, their wives are cheating on them, or they were just born with an inferiority complex. They visit different blogs just to say anything against the general opinion. They may come to Untold and rant against Wenger, then go to any AAA blog to support him, and they sometimes go to technology blogs and say something negative about Apple’s latest gizmo. They just want attention!
Newspapers, columnists, TV commentators, bloggers, and now the comment-writing public have learnt the tricks of trade from rappers. A rap song won’t sell unless the words “ho” and “kill” are repeated a zillion times in the lyrics (if they have much lyrics to begin with).
So we lost to ManIOU a couple of nights back. We all feel pretty sh!t, let’s be honest. Instead of just b!tching about it to our wives, kids and buddies, we all come to the keyboard and say “I told you so…”. Yes, we are all football professionals who know the game better than the entire coaching team at Arsenal. We are also psychic, because sitting on our couches at home, we all know which player is most prepared (physically, tactically and mentally) to start. Wow! We are good, no, let’s not be humble. We are all GREAT! The problem is, we all have different ideas of how it could have been different and we are all very confident that our plan would have worked. How very convenient!
I’ll be the first to admit, we played less than ourselves. But we did lose by a small margin, one freaky header (OK, it’s now a trend of conceding too many freaky goals), and we lost 3 points. We are still 2nd, aren’t we? But the blogosphere goes in to a crazy frenzy. I’m amazed at some of headlines/comments, and can’t believe how shameless some people can be. Let’s review some of the headlines over the past day and a half on the subject of Arsenal’s loss to ManU:
“It’s Showtime” said Arsenal Insider before the game. “We need to win tonight” is a headline from Arsenal Football-Talk. I don’t know how you watched your game, but my TV commentator said “It doesn’t get bigger than this” even though I remember the same prick saying the same thing during a Liverpool-ManU game not long ago. The strategy is to hype the game… Build them up so you can knock them down!
Post game, the strategy suddenly changes to “doom and gloom” with a heavy residue of “I told you so”… Yes, you’re super smart! You know it all, just because you have a loud mouth and an even louder opinion.
“Arsenal Miss Chance To Stay Top” says Arsenal Insider, as if we have a God given right to stay top and the players did all they could to screw it up!
Le Grove states “Arsene Wenger proves he’s not the man for the Arsenal job… again”. The blogger goes on and on about how Arsene is no longer capable of doing a proper job, as if it’s the first time he’s thought of the idea. He seems especially angry about Arsene not explaining enough about the loss during his post match interview (like any manager can spill his guts out to the general public whenever he feels like it). Thanks for sharing your sh!t, please enlighten us with your choice for a new manager who will guarantee us success on every level, every game, and oh, by the way, every season! Please!
The Goon Blog claims “Arsenal fail again, Clichy fails again, but don’t give up”. Thanks for the support mate! I’m sure the players will feel so much better now, and your comments will help the team win the next game. We can always count on guys like you to help the team in times of need!
“After All The Talk, Gunners Don’t Show Any “WALK””, says Football Fan Talk. I thought Evra did all the talking, our players never said much (which goes to show our level of confidence, but don’t get me started on that one!). Another article on this waste of internet bites is “Change Yourself Arsene, Or We Shall All Suffer”, thanks for the advice dude, I’m sure Arsene will share the thought with his shrink on his next visit.
Arsenal Mania’s headline reads “Big talkers made to look quiet in another big game failure”. Wow! Are you writing for Arsenal fans, or are you pleasing the ManU guys? How do you call yourself a supporter?
I could go on and on, I could tell you about newspaper articles full of loathing and self praise, but I’ll spare you the headache. I just can’t resist telling you about The Beautiful Groan’s headline reading “Another timid performance against title rivals proves costly”. How do you know man?! Did you see the standings at the end of May in your crystal ball? C’mon mate, tell us, we promise not to tell.
I don’t know about you humans, but us animals in the jungle, we have one king. We have all accepted the lion as our leader, and we don’t b!tch about it whenever things don’t go our way. I’ve never seen a rabbit blogging about “Lion’s time is up” when our dear leader fails to bring dinner home. I thought you humans would know better, unity is an integral part of success. But it’s not the only one. Success has so many ingredients, and very few can get the mix of ingredients right.
The only parts of success fans can provide to the mix are support and unity. Standing together for Arsenal. Can we handle that?
What do you know, we beat Stoke on Saturday and Chelsea beat ManU, and we’re back on top again! Right?
Keep it real, my fellow Gooners,
Sammy The Snake
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