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60 Things We Learnt From Spurs Loss to ManC

By Sammy the Snake

Yesterday we tried to take a broader view of Tottenham’s defeat to Man C, comparing it with Arsenal’s 8-2 debacle against Man U two years back.

That’s one way of looking at it.  One commentator gave us an alternative vision, saying that Arsenal were stagnating and that Tottenham were reforming, and so difficulties arise along the same.

Sammy the Snake now offers a third vision.

60 Things We Learnt From Spurs Loss to Man C

Having had the pleasure of watching Manchester City dismantle Tottenham 6-0 on Sunday afternoon, I’d like to highlight 60 things I learnt from the match which I’d like to share with you. So I’ll dive in to it directly:

  • Tottenham are useless going forward.
  • Tottenham are helpless in defending.
  • Tottenham are useless & helpless.
  • ManCity may have trouble on the road, but they are half good at home.
  • Spurs can’t win without a little last minute “help” from the ref.
  • The French No. 1, Hugo Lloris, thought he’s playing for City.
  • Paulinho was a waste of money, period.
  • ManC ain’t bad!
  • The Tiny Tots will soon be changing their name to “Tottenham Hot Air FC”.
  • Beer tastes good with chips, a lesson learnt again during the game!
  • Arsenal fans are so relieved Wenger didn’t sign Ericson.
  • ManC are title contenders.
  • Adebayor has lost his mojo. He left it at the Emirates all those years ago. We request the finder to call 1-800-money-grab to return his mojo.
  • Dembele isn’t worth the weight of the money paid for him.
  • This Aguero fellow is pretty good…
  • Spurs are sorely missing Bale. As if you needed me to tell you that…
  • Negredo is easy on the eyes, worth every millions of pennies paid for him.
  • Sergio Aguero has scored more goals than Tottenham’s total tally for the season.
  • Spurs were lucky to lose by just 6 goals, it could/should have been 10 or more.
  • City fans are rather getting their money’s worth.
  • Holtby, thanks for not coming to the Emirates!
  • AVB is not the hot shot he thinks he is. Right now, he’s deadly cold.
  • My fat & bald brother has a better chance of scoring than Soldado.
  • Spurs are not title contenders (no surprise there!).
  • Sandro is good at scoring, unfortunately at the wrong end!
  • Arsenal are in the middle of an 8 year trophy drought…
  • Tottenham remain the pretenders.
  • Without those famous last minute helps from refs, Tottenham would have been ripe for relegation places.
  • City are in the middle of a goalkeeping crisis, you just don’t know it because Tottenham made no effort to test the guy.
  • It’s good to be a Gooner!
  • Dawson is as bad playing for Spurs as he is for England.
  • Tottenham can’t score from open play even if their lives depended on it.
  • ManC can’t stop scoring (the last words of the match commentary).
  • That’s what happens when you sell the crown jewel (Bale)…

 

OK, that’s not really 60, but I’m guessing you can complete the list in the comments sections.

The books…

The sites from the same team…

68 comments to 60 Things We Learnt From Spurs Loss to ManC

  • WalterBroeckx

    There actually are 34 for the moment 😉

    35. Buying all that Belgium talent (the weaker part of talent) was a fine waste of money

  • WalterBroeckx

    36. Sunday football was fun
    37. They do need to spend some more money as it surely paid off

  • WalterBroeckx

    38. Someone asked me yesterday what time spurs kick-off…. I said about every 15 minutes!

  • Pete

    39. You should get back to praising/calling for the head of your manager based on the last result you like/don’t like – delete as applicable

  • BOB

    Very good mr Broeckx you stole that shit.
    Man city would kick Arsenal ass too so what are you twats bleating about?

  • Shakabula Gooner

    Be careful buying a large number of players in one go, just because you have the money to do so or just because some pundits out there call you a hotshot coach. There must be good reasons why experienced coaches of very good clubs that finish in the upper echelon of the league in which they play don’t go sending the signal before the start of a new season that the players who got them to such a good position on the league table are mostly rubbish. Club stability; internal chemistry and collective confidence from season to season count for something – even if pundits NEVER talk about such things.

  • Florian

    40. You learn nothing if you don’t watch the game:)

  • Florian

    BOB,

    We’re waiting for a score prediction.

  • Emma

    We conceded 8 at our very lowest, Spurs tho are at full strength. I dont agree that they are useless, i think they missed the creative juice of Eriksen, soldado for all that money has been a disgrace, but he still has time to shake the flop tag, Paulinho was easily their best player, One things for sure, AVB will be losing his job if he doesnt turn things round like wenger did.

  • bjtgooner

    Spurs enjoyed a false position in the league before game 12, thanks to three dubious penalties in the earlier rounds. This false position combined with their summer overspend rather inflated expectations.

    There is no doubt that the sale of Bale (and earlier that of Modric) has weakened Spurs and retarded their progress as a team. I don’t think Spurs spent their money wisely during the summer and further, the new additions have not gelled – they could still improve – time will tell.

    Spurs are now faced with the realisation that they may have to rebuild their team – again – in addition to building a stadium.

    Lets give credit to AW for his long term vision and careful squad development which is now showing benefits (and is not quite the finished article) – and for which all fans should be very grateful.

  • Samson Kasumba-Mulunda

    1. We also now know that all that talk of Spurs will be better than Arsenal because they bought more than we did was premature and was utter rubbish.Wenger said then,that being able to bring so many players into a team in the season was not so smart would have its issues!Now we know that buy,buy,buy,buy is not so smart!This same gaffer said then that all one needs is at most three new buys per season.
    2. No matter what some Arsenal funs may say this Wenger knows! You do not manage a league club this long if you are a seasoned fool!We will know how good Wenger was when we try to replace him.
    3. Arsenal was not that bad after all one good buy cannot make a bad team good.If all those buys by spurs have not made them better,then it’s true it’s not what you buy that strengthens you but what you keep!Keep Bale buy nothing and you are fine.Our problem was not keeping good players.The season we kept everybody we needed to keep we are fine!

  • colario

    In 20 days time it will be our turn at mancs after what could be a difficult game at Napoli.

    Sunday night on BBC radio 5 ‘606’ the spurs fans were as expected calling for the sack of their manager. ‘He doesn’t know what he is doing’ was the cry. No one said that last year. Surely we can do better than them.

    I am not against a good larf at spuds but we too have had our ‘big defeats’. For personal reasons it’s easy to remember GG’s famous back four losing at Highbury 6-2 to manure.
    Spurs fans are hurting. So are we for we wanted a draw.

    Lets hope that we reap revenge on mancs for what they did to the spuds.

    Meantime the result does give me a warm feeling.

  • kenyan gooner

    41.To be fair to tottenham,they were in control of the game in 1st 12seconds.

  • patrick mulundu

    Whenever Arsenal scouts point to a player,Spurs run quickly to get the same.eg Vertogen,Holtby etc.If they want to perform better,they should buy AW.

  • Sammy The Snake

    41. You always have to mind the gap!

    Thanks to everyone for completing the list so far. Can we do 60?

  • Armin

    42. Adebayor is not missed, here, there, anywhere

  • Oscar O2 boy

    i wish tottenham had ramsey, ozil and giroud. which are far better player than all tots midfielder. 100 million pounds waste. not to spend is the problem but the player for the team.

  • HenryB

    Adebarndoor misses here, there and everywhere.

  • reallycrossross

    43. “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Unless of course you always live in a shadow

  • 43. Spurs players must be full of regret now.

    44. Bale must be very happy with himself at the moment.

    45. AVB’s next job might be at Fulham.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    44 – Spuds ARE a top club !

  • Mik

    44. Erikson vs Özil? Erikson is clearly better value for money says every Spud, Commentator and Donkey

  • Mik

    46. This is what happens when you shop players like a fan would

  • Mik

    47. “Soldado is invisible for most of the game but when he gets the ball he bangs it into the net” – Quote from a retarded commentator

  • AL

    46. Spurs playing much better now . Man City haven’t scored for 5 mins

    47. Conspiracy theorists are already saying there has to be a second Man City team shooting from behind the grassy knoll.

    And finally, for the Arsenal players’ reaction to the spuds score;
    https://twitter.com/Reckless_III/status/404624079044751360/photo/1

  • Mik

    48. Spurs might not be doing well in the league but they are favourites to win the European Cup…

    …after they destroyed FC Sheriff 2-1 at home

  • AL

    Sorry mick, spent too long laughing at the twitter pic and didn’t realise you had posted 46 & 47. Re-edited.

    48. Spurs playing much better now . Man City haven’t scored for 5 mins

    49. Conspiracy theorists are already saying there has to be a second Man City team shooting from behind the grassy knoll.

    And finally, for the Arsenal players’ reaction to the spuds score;
    https://twitter.com/Reckless_III/status/404624079044751360/photo/1

  • Mik

    49. “After this transfer season we now have 5-6 world class players in our squad” – Collective quote from deluded Spuds

  • Mik

    the numbering is totally wrong anyway 🙂

    50. http://i.imgur.com/CCjGNoz.jpg

    The game was quite balanced. The Spuds were just a bit unlucky.

  • elkieno

    41: Remebring how much shit they gave us these last couple seasons. ‘Mind the gap’, ‘tide turning’ blah blah.
    @ Walter, the kick off every 15min joke, that’s a belter!
    Feels good to be a Gooner!!!

  • elkieno

    51. ?

  • Jacobite Gunner

    51. Spurs well planned and calculated summer signings will be more successful than Arsenal’s “trolley dash” 2 seasons ago LOL

  • Jacobite Gunner

    51. Spurs well planned and calculated summer signings will be more successful than Arsenal’s “trolley dash” 2 seasons ago LOL

  • Gianni Dioro

    52. It’s best not to throw up your vitamins onto the pitch during the match.

  • BILL FROM MANHATTAN

    Spurs could have won yesterday’s match. It’s all the refs fault for not giving them seven dubious penalties.

  • Pete (the 1st)

    Ooh! Another Pete (4th comment). That will be confusing!

    By the time I had a chance to turn on the TV City were already 3-up so couldn’t be bothered. Was rather hoping for a dull 0-0 with lots of injuries and red cards. But the long-term damage to Sp*rs psyche may be worth a couple of points to Man C?

    Pete (the 1st).

  • Micheal Ram

    53. tiny totts r in div 1 nxt season.

  • Micheal Ram

    One league down for playing like s**t and another league down for failing financial requirements

  • GOSPEL

    60. SPURS ARE A ONE-LEGGED TURKEY AS THEIR LOGO SUGGESTS.

  • Chinedu

    THE VILLAS BOAS HOUSEHOLD –
    EARLIER THIS MORNING
    54. Mrs VB: Andre – wake up – its
    seven already
    55. AVB: What – have they scored
    again!!

  • Damilare

    69. (By my count) Its better to lose 8-2 to manure when you had lost key players than 6-0 to manshitty when you have just assembled ‘key players’ from all over europe. 70. Now I understand what AW calls ‘top, top, top’ quality player. 71. We(Arsenal) have many TTTQPs and Sorry Stuttering Spuds have none. LOL

  • Damilare

    I apologise for not introducing myself first. I am a Nigerian Gonner. I’ve been supporting Arsenal since 2005. I suffered most when the team’s summer tour to Nigeria was cancelled couple of seasons ago. I finally find a blog (nothing toxic)that stands for everything I have always believed about our club THE ARSENAL. Keep up the good work.

  • OMGArsenal

    Spurs will likely be so embarrassed at their pitiful performance that their next game will be far better and they’ll recuperate some of their credibility. IF NOT then AVB’s reign will be short-lived.

    BOB…you’re the twat….Arsenal will meet City on equal terms since we are playing solid Football and don’t have the Spuds issues. But you can keep hoping desperately for a loss, like a true AAA arse.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    54. This is a reminder of what can happen to any team in the premiership if you don’t show up for a match.

    54.5 And…don’t show up for the second half either.

  • Gianni Dioro

    Welcome, Damilare.

    Spurs had 1 TTTQP but they sold him.

  • k9ine

    59) roasted chicken on a shitty day

  • Goona Gal

    Well done guys, this article and comments had me chuckling out loud!

  • Sammy The Snake

    71. AVB after the game: We were just 6 or 7 penalties from having a good result!

  • colario

    I hate to be a party pooper but 6 goals to mancs was not good for us. Look at their goals for and goals difference. It gives them an advantage over everyone and at the moment that includes us.

  • soglorious

    69. Tottenham without Gareth Bale is just like a phone without coverage; only good for playing games.

  • Va Cong

    So funny guys!

  • Double canister

    ”62 and never again!

  • Brickfields Gunners

    99 – And we thought that people would take the Spuds seriously
    when the ‘Arry & Rosie 47 comedy show was canned !

  • AnonymousGun

    colario @ 10pm..

    As long we matched them point by points.. they can win 6-0 all the time.. our 1-0 wins will be superior by league table standard.

  • Amit

    100.Tots will forever be a shit team

  • Desert Gooner

    101.Confucious says: The Manager’s team will lose; the fans team will always win, because it NEVER plays!

  • Nelson Wong

    That’s what happens when you sell the crown jewel<== In that regard

    – Tottenham sell crown jewel to buy raw diamonds and is very hard to cut and polish

    – After cutting and polishing, it turns out Tottenham bought some crystal instead of diamond (Ouch!!!)

    – Tottenham do not have an eye for picking diamonds.

    – Tottenham is stuck with a handful of overpriced crystals.

    – Arsenal sell crown jewel and buy beaufitul replacements.

    – It turns out what Arsenal sold isn't really a "crown jewel". Its only a diamond that shine better on the beautiful piece of jewel called Arsenal.

    – Arsenal buy raw diamonds and turn them into jewels.

    – Having Tottenham as rival is a lot of fun. They spend 100M to buy you laughter!

  • colario

    AnonymousGun

    I could not agree more with you. However at the moment Mancs have scored 10 more than us and a better goal difference of 8.

    We have played 12 games we are four points ahead. As I have said I rejoice at a 6-0 against spuds. However Mancs could make up that four points in the next 26 games and if they do, they will go in front of us. Not good, not good.

    We have sunshine over the defeat of spuds but there is a shadow over the victory.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    1)In the beginning..

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together after a fierce bout of passionate lovemaking. The egg lights a cigarette and says, “Well, I guess that answers THAT question.”

    2)Chicken Engineering at Its Finest

    In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from ”Feathers,” the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story:
    It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the airplane flies. The theory is that if the windshield can withstand the carcass test impact, it’ll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
    Apparently, the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, high-speed train they were developing.. They borrowed the FAA’s chicken launcher, loaded a chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken not only shattered the windshield, but went through the engineer’s seat, broke an instrument panel, and was imbedded in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to review the test to see if everything was done correctly.

    The FAA reviewed the data thoroughly and had one recommendation: ”Use a thawed chicken.”

    3)Not music to his ears …

    Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
    It kept saying ”Bach, Bach, Bach…”

  • Damilare

    @ Gianni Dioro
    Thanks. Yeah the other welshman. But I still think his move to RM is premature.
    @ colario
    Shitty goal difference wont be an advantage if we don’t drop points.
    …And a little bit off topic, Ronney and Suarez. I’m not fascinated about their persons but I caught myself fantasizing having either or both of them in Arsenal shirt. You think I’m nutts?

  • Slysoulman

    42000001). Arsene knows.

    Damilare: You’re in good company. Shakabula and a good number of Naija Gooners come on here. Welcome, pal.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    A man was walking in the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed.

    As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by, rushed up to him and exclaimed, “My God! Whoever did this really needs help!”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Fourteen ! fourteen!
    A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in.
    Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”

  • PJ

    60. They (want) T06etham (but) 60tspuds

  • WalterBroeckx

    LOL Brickfields…the Arsenal on a rare occasion can disappoint but you never 🙂 🙂

    That 7:26 had me rolling on the floor…

  • Double canister

    Colario

    FFS
    Our defensive record is better than City’s. It’s only second to Southampton’s at the moment and they will fade away.
    Our goals scored record is the second best in the league – and we have Hull to look forward to next Wednesday night, so we might improve on that.
    Our team is due a good rout or two.