ARSENAL RESERVES 16 PORTSMOUTH 4: Wenger cheats & its not fair

So how am I supposed to predict these scores correctly if the Lord Wenger doesn’t play fair? How was I supposed to know he was going to put the reserves out? How was I supposed to know that far from using my brilliant tactic of putting Wilshere on the bus at half price, Portsmouth didn’t even bring the bus, and instead played football?

It all seems a bit unjust and a slap on the chin for an honest predictor – but I’ll get over it. I said 6-0, we got 4-1.

We already knew that we had no Theo, no Rosicky, no Nasri, no Vela, no Djourou (ok those last two are reserves, but the other three aren’t).

But then along comes our Lord W and we find we have no Sagna, no Song, no Clichy, and no Fabr (or if you prefer no Egas – either way we only got a demi-Cesc what with him trotting off at half time.)

I must say I was under the impression that we got into reserve games free and they were played at Barnet, so I felt very annoyed.

Although in reality of course I didn’t. A daring tactic to give the rest of the team a go, it paid off brilliantly, and ’twas great fun all round. What is seriously odd however is that Van Persie, Bendtner and Arshavin can’t get a goal, while everyone else is scoring by the bucket load. Ah well, can’t have it all.

To begin at the commencement, just for a change, I stuck a little note on here yesterday saying I had a spare ticket and within half an hour John had phoned to take it. Nice to meet up with you John, glad you enjoyed it too.

The Portsmouth Buyers Club (Peter Storrie and Sheik Yermoney) were both there looking thoughtful, counting the dosh and pretending to know all about the game, the Portsmouth manager said that Gallas should have been sent off and thus never have scored and thus Portsmouth would have equalised and thus it would have been a draw, or something like that, and Arsenal’s administration totally screwed up on the issuing of new membership cards, leaving a long queue opposite turnstyle S even at 1pm.

Actually the admin is a dreadful muddle – it is not just that they screwed up the issue of membership cards this year, it is just about everything they touch is a total cock-up (a phrase which, according to Stephen Fry is a nautical expression). They don’t return email enquiries, my two grandsons are still waiting for their Junior Gunners memberships which I paid for back in June, and if you do phone the club you have to listen to Elvis sing “The Wonder of You” 26 times before getting a different story about why it has all gone wrong, from the story you heard last time.

Thankfully Arsenal Independent Supporters Assn are taking up the case, and it might be possible to sack the entire admin department and get in someone who actually understands what it means to spend over £2000 on two season tickets, and what sort of service we might expect in return. (Incidentally, if you are an AISA member – and you should be – don’t forget the AGM next month).

But all such issues were, of course, forgotten in the game. Sixteen attempts on target, a forward line who can’t score, and the re-emergence of Diaby, the confirmation of the ability of Ramsey, and further flutterings from the astonishingly brilliant Fran Merida.

First Diaby – who showed that the staggering performance in Turkey last year could be repeated (“everything you’d ever want in a player” was the Lord Wenger’s view and watching him yesterday you could see why). He clearly can share Song’s duties, as well as just about anybody else’s duties on the pitch (and quite possibly could run the club’s Admin far better than anyone currently doing the job). If he can just stay injury free, he’ll be a star of the season.

And then Ramsey. The pass from Van Persie was magnifico, but it took a huge level of coolness and ability to run through and score with such aplomb. Indeed it was magnifico aplomb (not a phrase many other blogs will be running today, I’ll warrant you, and I can’t wait to see how Team Talk Quebec translate that into French).

Fran M got his run out – and I really do hope we can find enough games to play him in (League Cup, FA Cup, and those meaningless games in the Champs League where we’ve already won the group and can afford to put out the kiddiwinks.)

But still no Wilshere. Of our Lord Wenger knows best, but I would like to watch him get at least half an hour sometime soon.

Thus top of the league (at least as I write this) and ready for Celtic, Manchester and Manchester in the next three. So far, three games 12 goals, spread out amongs the team. Just like the old days.

Oh I enjoyed that, although I have to say that the burger I stupidly had at half time is still sitting in my stomach and refusing to budge, which has taken the edge off things a little. I wouldn’t mention it normally but I do feel you ought to be aware of the sacrifices I make to bring you these reports.

(c) Tony Attwood 2009

21 Replies to “ARSENAL RESERVES 16 PORTSMOUTH 4: Wenger cheats & its not fair”

  1. I thoroughtly enjoyed this article. Lovely game though I didn’t get to watch enough of Cesc’s amazing passes, but as you said, Diaby was the superstar of the game and I feel you should give Van Persie some credit, he was succesful with passes more than goals, that’s all.
    Thank you for this Sir.

  2. Yes Tony its definitely cheating, and very unfair… who would expect Wenger will replace Ade with Gallas

  3. Gallas well on target for 30 goals this season, as Armin points out another master-stroke from Le Boss. I wonder if he will continue to try to score them all each with a different part of his body. Does hoofing it into your own face and then in count as an assist as well as a goal?
    I too was drooling over Merida’s footwork, a lovely cameo. Ramsey is looking a bit bigger this year isn’t he, and very composed? Patience Tony, Jack will be eased in gradually, it’s the Wenger way.

  4. Steww: utterly brilliant – Gallas did an assist and scored exactly as you say. And Eduardo is now exploring that way of going round a defender by passing the ball to the left and running to the right – if he does that and then scores that’s an assist and a goal as well. Just as effective as Gallas but nowhere near as amusing.

  5. Hi Tony,

    thanks for the post as always.
    I look forward to seeing which part of the body Gallas’ gonna use to score next time. Maybe his arse?

    By the way, strolling through some blogs, I’ve found that there are still so many who can’t wait to see the back of Denilson. Poor boy, what more does he have to do? I thought he was excellent yesterday in his usual understated and unspectacular way. First as soon as Nasri comes back, then as soon as Rosicky’s back, now Ramsey, they are so eager to see any mistakes and misplaced passes by Denilson to find a reason to displace him in the squad. So unfair.
    Hope he doesn’t waste his time reading those stupid blogs and feel disheartened like I do. 🙂

    Hope your burger sitting pretty in your stomach buggers off soon!

  6. This is second time I am reading your blog. And I must say am getting fan of yours….
    Its great to see Gallas scoring…Really dont care whether he scores with his back , neck or chest 😀
    Btw I want to see Vela more than Wilshere. Cause I think Wilshere has passed enough time on bench and he deserves some time on pitch (ofcourse when he is fit enough to play)
    Keep rocking tony……..
    Gooner from Pakistan

  7. Dear Tony. Our midfielders acting like strikers and our strikers like midfielders, creating chances but not scoring goals? I’m confused. Can this really work over a whole season? Is this a cunning plan to create disarray in our opponents? Was this the formula the led to the teams’ success earlier in the decade? As an Arshavinite maybe I’m biased, but when we face the likes of Manure and Chelski, won’t we need our best goalscorers to be on top form and to know clearly what is expected of them? Or perhaps I should just shut up and enjoy the ride.

  8. Since when does it matter who is the one who score (as long as it is some of our players)? Football in which CFs were “the only ones” allowed to score is obsolete and almost forgotten. Position definition of player is as it say position definition, so there is no “Goal scorer” role in football, scorer is one who at the moment find him self in best position & opportunity.
    Ronaldo-Rollando, by any mean, is midfielder but no one ever complained why he scored more goals than Rooney. Nor anyone see something wrong in Mesi and Iniesta “goal scoring” roles though both are “midfielders”.

  9. Why are you always right Tony.I think Denilson was brilliant yesterday.He covered so much ground,made many tackles and ran the show.A very good aticle by Fab in the programme.He says that the new system of 4.3.3. suits him.I do feel that this is a massive difference this season.Only Sam Wallace of the Independant has mentioned this.

  10. Hi Tony, I believe the bugging burger only needs water to help it bugger off. Thank you for another brilliant post.

    ggs: I am happy that Diaby had a good game yesterday. After the first 2 games when Denilson played well, those stupid bloggers were saying that Diaby was not worth wearing the Arsenal shirt. With his brilliant game yesterday, they could not say much bad about Diaby so they turn their venom back to Denilson. They just have to bug somebody. I wish we could expunge them from Arsenal altogether. But the saying about keeping your enemy even closer so that you can keep a closer eye on them.

    stuartlondon: Our tactic is simple. Reverse the strikers and midfielders’ roles so as to lure the opponents defence into a false sense of understanding, as a result of which they pay more attention to the midfielders, leaving the strikers free. At this point, normal roles will resume and the strikers will score in bucketfuls.

  11. Armin..
    Not so good for the stats, but get a little schadenfreude when the opposition score own goals. Bad for morale!
    Naturally the media will put any Arsenal goal down to poor defending, anyway:
    For those who watch it, Match of the Day…Aaaaaaaaargh!! Every bloody time it’s poor-defending. Man Ure naturally just score amazing goals..never mind Kirklnd being as much use as feathers on a fish. Ah well.. makes it all the sweeter!

  12. I wonder why our midfielders are faster than our strikers on the counter attacks. For the 2nd goal, we had a counter attack lead by eboue, supported by Diaby and Deni. Where is our strikers??

    This is not only confusing for the opponents. It is confusing me as well :s

    p/s: Tony, the Tribal Football rss is a joke, right?

  13. prick – possibly hanging back and covering as the other guys were already screaming forward at about mach3?

  14. I’m just worried the journos will come out with something like “it’s not legal for strikers to keep creating chances out of thin air for midfielders. The midfielders need to create things for the strikers. Not the other way around. This is madness. This is blasphemy. This is sparta”

    Or something like that.

  15. Indeed I think with the intelligence in the heads of Arshavin, RVP en Eduardo when they see the other breaking, they hold on a bit to keep the balance if the ball gets lost.
    I think our strikers will be firing soon because the opposition will be looking for the threat from midfielders scoring which will give space to our attackers.
    Great to see Eduardo playing so well and giving good passes, dribbling with confidence.
    Yesterday several times Denilson was the man who broke up the Portsmouth attacks but the moaners didn’t noticed it, I did. Well done (Denil)Son.
    BTW we use a joke at home here since a few months about Alexendre Dimitir Song Billong: We always say: “Song be(i)longs in the team”
    He got a good rest yesterday so he will be fit for the next two games and can fire on all cilinders.

  16. Whats going on between Van Persie and Bendtner? Did you guys notice some players (Bendtner and even Cesc) dont pass the ball to him?

  17. Billy “Capi” Gallas has now scored with his cock (FC Twente CL qualifier away), arse (Celtic away, CL qualifier) and now his knee-face combo — no wonder he wears the #10 shirt.

    12 goals scored and only 1 from strikers — AA23 and RVP are screwing up fantasy footie teams real good; at least rvp has 3 assists, but AA23 … *sigh*.

  18. good read.

    for all i care gallas can finish the season as top scorer with 30 goals! he already wears no 10!!! Amen

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