Untold Arsenal has been very fortunate to get an interview with Rosie, Arry Redknapp’s constant companion and translator of matters mathematical.
UNTOLD: Rosie, we know that Arry treats you as a very special friend – as witness the fact that he gave you £200000 in your own bank account. How are things?
UNTOLD: We learned in the court case that Arry is dyscalculic, so he must have struggled a bit on the score during the Arsenal/Tots game. I mean, there were quite a few goals, with the tinies taking up a neat lead courtesy of the ref, and then Arsenal working hard to come back with a series of quite glorious goals.
UNTOLD: Indeed. So at half time he actually thought the Totts were in front even though that was far from the case.
UNTOLD: I imagine you were able to set him right and tell him that despite the referee Arsenal actually fought back. After all the ref was totally twisted, bizarre, disgraceful, misleading, unknowing, eccentric, weird, unhinged and unfocussed.
UNTOLD: Must have been difficult in the second half – what with the numbers going up and up
ROSIE: Woof! Woof!
UNTOLD: And what did Arry think the final score was?
UNTOLD: So he thinks the totts won eh? Well fancy that. He’s going to be confused when he sees the scores in the paper.
UNTOLD – Oh of course, he won’t actually be able to read the scores in the paper because he’s dyslexic as well as dyscalculic. Amazing. Does he have any idea which games the tinies have won this year?
UNTOLD: So that explains a lot. And what about all the tiny fans leaving the ground before the end. I suppose he’s used to that though at the Lane, given the appalling transport system there.
UNTOLD: So another fine Tottenham victory for Arry and his dear wife – and indeed you yourself Rosie – to celebrate. Well, well done The Tiny Totts. A great victory over Arsenal at the Emirates. A triumph. Well done. You came and took the Emirates with your referee, and all your media friends.
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