Barca (or the “Catalan Giants TM” as the press like them to be called) have formally apologised to Arsenal FC, (“the north London club”) over the stories about Barca trying to buy Adebayor.
“It was a sad case of mistaken identity,” said Hardly Anyone, the President of Barca. “We wanted a really intelligent insider in the English game to tell us who we should buy. We looked around and saw Mr Guvnor Ince. He seemed just the person to give us the low down, because he told us he was the best. He said he had just won the league – and we thought that meant the EPL – although it appears he actually won the 4th Division with Milton Keynes (who we believe is his assistant manager and who we are now trying to sign).
“Mr Guvnor Ince told us that he was so highly regarded that he was the only man who was allowed to manage in England with taking any UEFA qualifications – but it turns out that although he registered to do them, he mistakenly thought that it meant he should go golfing instead, and not everyone believes he will pass, even if he actually fins out what is on the syllabus.
“The Ince man also told us that he was the one that people turned to for information about players, but as far as we can see now this just meant that he had told Ronaldodo to stay at Manchester Bankrupt, which was not very original.
“But of course at the time we knew none of this, and Mr Guvnor told us that Adebayor desperately wanted to leave Arsenal (“The north London club”).
“In fact he later admitted he was confusing Adebayor with a Russian forward with whom we were already in contact.”
In his defence Mr Guvnor said that both players’ names begin with A, they both have the same number of letters, and he naturally assumed that the Russian bloke was going to Arsenal because the first three letters of his name are Ars.
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