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April 2021

The one transfer rumour that turns out to be true

By Tony Attwood and a cat named Origami.

Yep – there always is one rumour that turns out to be right – although quite often it doesn’t turn up until the very last moment.  In between there are the phantom transfers, the vapour transfers and all the other transfers as agents and clubs seek to frustrate each other with totally false stories – some of which relate to players who are either no good at all, or occasionally don’t even exist.

And when those stories run out, the journos make them up.

Of course sometimes even the clubs don’t exist – a bit like West Ham United becoming West Ham London  on the club’s badge.   That is a Daily Mirror tale, but they didn’t bother with the research that showed that Henry Norris, when considering new names for Arsenal during the era when they changed from Woolwich Arsenal to The Arsenal, and then Arsenal, contemplated London FC, London Arsenal and Arsenal London – but chose not to follow that path, as it was thought too pretentious.  Not that this troubles West Ham – or indeed Hull who seem to have dropped their name totally from their new logo.

As for players Talk Sprout tell us that Arsenal are going for Croatian Southampton defender Dejan Lovren.

After the Telegraph gave us an exclusive that said that Vermaelen was going to Man U lots of sites now have Arsene Wenger looking for an immediate replacement.  The problem with the story is that Vermaelen says he doesn’t know anything about the Man U move and that it assumes that Arsenal just react rather than plan.  If you believe that, you believe it.  Personally I don’t.

Of course a day of wild transfer rambles always has one club putting another on “stand by” or “alert” or “high alert” and any minute now “extra high alert” followed by an alert so high that it has flown above Mount Everest and is now in space.  One such is Napoli who “have put Premier League clubs on staggering high alert with the need for extra oxygen” by putting their Chilean World Cup star Eduardo Vargas up for sale this summer.

That’s true.  It’s in the Mirror.   Who also tell us that Joel Campbell is wanted by Crystal Palace while Arsenal, undoubtedly suffering from high alertness sickness are after Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic.  He can play right and centre back but unfortunately Chelsea don’t want to sell.

Oh yes and we are signing Mauricio Isla from Juventus.  He’s 26 and plays right-back and holding midfield.   Unfortunately that’s in the Star.

Balotelli is now old news, so to keep it fresh we are now told Joel Campbell will go in part exchange.

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But no it is Bayern Munich’s Mario Mandzukic, 28, for us.  The Express says so.

The entity known as A Cole is going to Monaco.

Barcelona forwards Bojan Kirkic and Ibrahim Afellay are being offered for sale along with an old photocopier as Barcelona get rid of eveyone.  Liverpool and Arsenal are “set to” “battle it out”.  Trouble is that “set to” means “we made this up in the pub”.   (Talksport)

And so back to Vermaelen.  He was gone, said the exclusive Telegraph as I said.  But on Sky Sports News Thomas himself said, “I know there has been a lot of talk and a lot of rumours but the only thing I can say is that it’s not true.”

So there you have it.  One of these stories is true.  All you have to do is work out which one.


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12 comments to The one transfer rumour that turns out to be true

  • Mick

    I gave up trying to keep abreast of the rumours weeks ago but is there any truth in the Messi plus cash to Arsenal, Bendtner to Barca swap deal that I read about in my local paper?

  • WalterBroeckx

    there is a slight chance that your rumour is false… 🙂 but a good one bringing a smile to my face

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Then I guess its not true that Arsenal are going to bail out Greece with the 100 million in exchange for most of their players who may or may not have been paid ?

  • Oliver

    I heard it was actually Ana Ivanovic

  • menace

    The officials have started ignoring fouls on Arsenal players already!!! Campbell for Cost Rica clearly fouled. Should have been a penalty.

  • AL

    That was an outrageous decision against Campbell, even all the pundits agreed that was as clear a penalty as you’ll ever see. Denied Joel the chance to score two goals in two games.

  • oldgroover

    Yes, of course it was a penalty, but not given because the referee was so far behind play he couldn’t see clearly what happened, and not as you suggest because it was an Arsenal player.

  • menace

    @oldgrover Ha ha ha I was only kidding about the Arsenal bit. The assistant was in line and should have given the penalty. The officiating has been poor all round.

  • oldgroover

    menace, That’s right the lino should’ve seen it. If Campbell plays on Tuesday he should get a hat trick against our slow central defenders.

  • Doanythingformoney

    re the Media Madhouse

    Since April Fool’s Day we have been ‘linked’ with 121 different players. This seems to be a record for the time of year. Surely there are more to come! Another 79 would round things off nicely.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I’d love to see Joel impress ( if he hasn’ yet )and score against England to herald his coming to the EPL for the new season .
    My son just couldn’t understand how England are out – this despite me arguing with him (before the WC!) they will not get out of the group.

  • jayramfootball

    I am rather hoping that the Balotelli transfer turns out to be a made up story. Not that I think he is a particularly bad player – rather he can blow hot and cold. The real reason I do not want him is because if he plays for Arsenal he will be absolutely crucified by the media and victimised by referees. His character is such that they will tear him apart and he will never be allowed a chance to succeed at Arsenal. Even players with ice cold temperaments have a hard time with referees and the media if they play for Arsenal. I just can’t imagine Balotelli NOT blowing a fuse every few matches…